371: How Honesty (Not Reassurance) Is What Gets Your Kid Through Middle School, with Dr. Kim Pinckney

One day my son was eye level with me. The next, he wasn't. His sense of who his friends actually were was now off.

That's the thing about middle school and puberty: it feels sudden, but the buildup has been happening for a while, and if we're not watching closely, we miss the window to prepare our kids for what's coming.

I'm talking with Dr. Kim Pinckney, instructional designer, performance improvement coach, and mom of a neurodivergent son, about the physical, social, and emotional shifts that show up as our kids head into middle school. We talk about the subtle early signs, a growth spurt, a new curiosity about what other kids are doing, that come before the big emotional stuff hits.

We also dig into something I think about a lot: the language adults use around our kids, especially the word "friend." When everyone in a classroom is called a friend, or a therapist introduces themselves that way, our neurodivergent kids can be left without the tools to tell the difference between someone who's friendly and someone who's actually a friend. Kim shares how she's had to gently, repeatedly help her son see that difference, and why that honesty, even when it stings both of you, is what actually builds trust.

We talk about co-regulation instead of fixing, about letting our kids feel the sting of an uncertain day instead of promising them a good one, and about the moment it finally does get better. Because it does.

If your kid is approaching middle school, or is deep in it right now, this conversation will give you language, and permission, to be honest with them. Listen now.

You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and take the free quiz to find out where to start with your neurodivergent child: parentingadhdandautism.com/quiz.

Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/371

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You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com. It's not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.