370: When Silence is Louder than Sound, with Luke Williams

Heavy metal calms my son down. That sentence still doesn't feel intuitive to me, even after nearly two decades of parenting a neurodivergent kid, but it's exactly what my kid shared with me several years ago.

In this episode, my son Luke joins me again to talk about the role music has played in his life as an autistic, ADHD adult — not as background noise, but as an actual regulation tool. We talk about how different genres serve completely different nervous system needs for him, why fast, intense music can be stimulating rather than overwhelming for a brain that's always moving, and how something as simple as videos playing in the background help him fall asleep when nothing else had worked.

We also get into something I think every parent needs to hear: when your kid won't talk about the hard stuff, sometimes the way back to connection isn't through the hard conversation at all. It's through whatever they're passionate about. For us, that's music. For your kid, it might be something else entirely. The principle is the same.

This isn't a clinical breakdown of music therapy. It's a real conversation between a mom and her adult son about what actually helped, what didn't, and what I'm still learning from him even now. If you've ever wondered why your neurodivergent kid needs headphones on all the time, or why silence feels unbearable to them at bedtime, this episode will give you language for what you're already seeing.

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You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com. It's not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.