The Secret Skills of Master Negotiators

Show: The Art of Manliness

When most people think of negotiation, they picture big, high-stakes moments: haggling over the price of a house, negotiating a starting salary, or hammering out the terms of a business deal. But negotiation is also something we do every day. It’s working out who’s taking on which chores with your spouse, convincing a coworker to help on a project, or even deciding where to go for dinner with friends. The better you understand negotiation — which is really about influencing other people’s decisions — the better you’ll be at navigating conflicts and opportunities both big and small.

My guest has spent decades studying the art and science of wielding that influence. John Richardson teaches negotiation at MIT’s Sloan School of Management and is the co-author of Never Settle. Today on the show, John shares what he learned from negotiation legends like Roger Fisher, co-author of Getting to Yes, and FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss. He unpacks the skills of master negotiators, including how to build reciprocity, uncover what people actually want, and keep your emotions from hijacking your judgment. We also get into the part of negotiation that makes people the most uncomfortable: the back-and-forth over hard numbers like price and salary and how to handle those conversations with greater confidence and better results.

Connect With John Richardson

0:00 Everyday Negotiation & Meet John Richardson

2:18 John's Path Into Negotiation

9:50 Why People Fear Negotiation

12:34 Roger Fisher's Philosophy (Getting to Yes)

17:46 Chris Voss & Hostage Negotiation Tactics

22:54 Give Them a Sandwich (Reciprocity)

30:06 Using Someone's Name

33:59 Managing Your Emotions

39:00 Figuring Out What Everyone Wants

46:29 Distributive Negotiation & Anchoring

54:52 Alternatives, Saying No & Closing