The Science of Handling Life’s Unexpected Changes Gracefully with Maya Shankar

Have you ever felt terrified of change… not just because life is shifting, but because you feel like you’re shifting with it? I know that feeling well — and this week’s conversation opened my heart and mind in such a profound way.

In this week’s episode of HEAL with Kelly, I sit down with Dr. Maya Shankar, a renowned cognitive scientist whose work sits at the intersection of identity, behavior, and human transformation. Maya is the Senior Director of Behavioral Economics at Google, the creator and host of the award-winning podcast A Slight Change of Plans, and the former Senior Policy Advisor in the Obama White House. She founded and chaired the White House Social and Behavioral Sciences Team and later became the first Behavioral Science
Advisor to the United Nations.

Maya’s new book, The Other Side of Change, is a stunning blend of research and storytelling. In our conversation, we explore why change can feel so destabilizing, how our brains are wired to resist uncertainty, and what happens when the identities we’ve clung to suddenly fall away. Maya shares vulnerably about losing the violin career she spent her childhood building, and later, facing the grief and identity questions that came with unexpected challenges around motherhood.

We also dive into some of the most fascinating ideas from her work — like why we mistakenly believe we’re “done changing,” how awe and moral beauty can completely redirect our lives, and a simple 5-minute practice
that can ground us when we feel unmoored. We talk about the stories we inherit, the ones we outgrow, and the courage it takes to imagine ourselves beyond old definitions.  In a world where CHANGE is the only constant, Maya's work is a lighthouse. 

This conversation is honest, expansive, and full of insight. If you’re navigating transition, grieving a path that didn’t unfold, questioning your identity, or simply curious about who you’re becoming… this episode is for you.

Key Moments You'll Love ✨:
🎻 [1:56] Maya's Origin Story
🔒 [15:13] Locked-In Syndrome: Olivia's Journey to Self-Acceptance
🧠 [24:39] Why We Mispredict Our Future Selves
😱 [29:15] Self-Blame, Shame & The Power of Human Connection
✨ [42:51] Awe & Moral Elevation: How Witnessing Others Changes Us
💔 [46:00] Self-Affirmation Exercise: Finding Wholeness After Loss
🌊 [48:50] Letting Go of Motherhood: Maya's Unexpected Freedom
🔄 [56:04] Attachment Styles Are Malleable: Tara's Transformation
🌙 [1:02:02] The 3AM Rumination Spiral & Breaking Free
🎁 [1:02:31] Light-Lift Tools for Your Mental Change Survival Kit

LINKS
Dr. Maya Shankar Website: https://mayashankar.com/
Dr. Maya Shankar on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar/
The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4pPTbjJ
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