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Speaker 1: doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself. Let

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Speaker 1: me just like pull back a second focus on myself,

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Speaker 1: and then it seemed like everyone else was happier. The

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Speaker 1: best selling authoring the most.

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast On.

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Speaker 3: Purpose with Jay Shetty. Everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose,

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Speaker 3: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to

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Speaker 3: each and every one of you that come back every

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Speaker 3: week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. And I

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Speaker 3: am so excited to be talking to you today. I

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Speaker 3: can't believe it.

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Speaker 2: My new book, Eight Rules of Love is out and

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Speaker 2: I cannot wait to share it with you. I am

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Speaker 2: so so excited for you to read this book, for

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Speaker 2: If you haven't got it already, make sure you go

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Speaker 2: to eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to

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Speaker 2: anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love.

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Speaker 2: So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up,

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Speaker 2: or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.

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Speaker 2: And I'd love to invite you to come and see

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Speaker 2: me for my global tour.

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Speaker 3: Love Rules. Go to jshadytour dot com to learn more

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Speaker 3: information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait

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Speaker 3: to see you this year. Now, today's guest is someone

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Speaker 3: that I've been wanting to speak to for years, and

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Speaker 3: I'm so grateful that I finally have the opportunity. I

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Speaker 3: first DMD her in twenty eighteen. I'm going to shore

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Speaker 3: in a second saying Kim, I would love to interview.

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Speaker 3: What did I know? I didn't even have a podcast then,

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Speaker 3: but I'm so grateful that five years on, she's in

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Speaker 3: the studio. I'm speaking about the one and only Kim Kardashian, entrepreneur,

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Speaker 3: business mogul, and producer. Kim first burst onto the scene

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Speaker 3: in two thousand and seven after the premiere of a

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Speaker 3: hit E entertainment reality series, Keeping Up with the Kardashians,

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Speaker 3: which my wife is a huge fan of, that ended

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Speaker 3: in twenty twenty one after twenty seasons, and the Kardashian

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Speaker 3: and her family announced in December of twenty twenty that

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Speaker 3: they had signed a multi year deal with Hulu to

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Speaker 3: create The Kardashians, which began airing in April twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: two and is currently filming season three and they're here

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Speaker 3: right now. Kim is passionate about the fight for criminal

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Speaker 3: justice reform and has been studying for a law degree

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Speaker 3: through the apprenticeship program in the state of California. In

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty, she launched a podcast with Spotify, Kim Kardashian's

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Speaker 3: The System The Case of Kevin Keith, which went to

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Speaker 3: number one. Kim's the founder of Skim's Skin by Kim,

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Speaker 3: and in September of twenty twenty two, she announced the

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Speaker 3: launch of private equity from Sky Partners with Jay Simmons.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the show, Kim Kardashian.

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Speaker 1: Kim, thank you so much for having me. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for being I believe you dmd me I did two thousand.

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Speaker 3: Show your team. Yeah, I want to show you because.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sorrying me so long to go back to you.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not saying it to make you feel sorry.

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Speaker 3: I'm saying it because I want you to know how

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Speaker 3: much I appreciate you being here. My gosh, there you go.

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Speaker 1: Yes. August four, twenty eighteen. Would love to meditate together.

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Speaker 1: Let me know if it's something you'd like to try.

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Speaker 1: I would love to interview you. Here we go, well,

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Speaker 1: here we are.

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Speaker 3: Here we are. Yeah, I wanted to say this on camera.

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Speaker 3: We were just talking about it offline just now. But

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Speaker 3: your family has been so wonderful to me in so

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Speaker 3: many ways. And I've had so many beautiful interactions with

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Speaker 3: Chloe Firestivall.

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Speaker 1: She loves you. She's where I first became aware of

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Speaker 1: you from Chloe sending videos and clips of some of

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Speaker 1: the really positive things that you put out there in

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Speaker 1: the universe. And we have a positivity chat for our

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Speaker 1: family and so we put really sweet things to get

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Speaker 1: us in good moods and motivated and start our day

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Speaker 1: in a really good space. And so you're in there

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Speaker 1: a lot o.

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Speaker 3: I love that. That makes me happy. Yeah, And she

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Speaker 3: was the first, and then I recently connected to the

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Speaker 3: Candle and she came on the show and it was

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Speaker 3: just beautiful how openly she sard. And then that led

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Speaker 3: to me meeting your mom at the People's Choice Awards

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Speaker 3: and then having dinner with her recently, and I was

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Speaker 3: just I want to say this because I think people

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Speaker 3: just don't.

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Speaker 1: Understand I've been to a Taco Tuesday.

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Speaker 3: I have not been to a Taco Tuesday, So.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, no tattle Tuesday, tattle free Tuesday.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting it. I don't want to get in trouble.

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Speaker 3: Your mum had been nicest thing. So my wife, my

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Speaker 3: wife wasn't there with me, but we're both vegan, and

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Speaker 3: so she had Chloe's chef make us a vegan meal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I was saying to you earlier that I literally

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Speaker 3: felt like I was at my friend's mom's house. Like

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Speaker 3: that's how she made me feel, really beautiful feelings.

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Speaker 1: So she is the best. She's so warm. She just

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Speaker 1: loves everyone to feel welcomed. She makes sure everyone is

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Speaker 1: thought of. And that's one of my favorite qualities of

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Speaker 1: her that I will never get over and never forget

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Speaker 1: and always it's just how she makes people feel.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I hope you feel very welcome and safe today.

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Speaker 1: I do.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to dive right in. I was thinking

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Speaker 3: about this. You've been traveling so much lately. I feel

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Speaker 3: from what I see on Instagram, like you've been to

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Speaker 3: Paris and Japan and London, and then you're going to

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Speaker 3: be starting to shoot for the new show, and I

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Speaker 3: just feel like you're always on the move. I wonder

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Speaker 3: when was the last time you went somewhere where someone

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Speaker 3: didn't know who you were or actually, was there a

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Speaker 3: moment where someone said to you, who are you? What

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Speaker 3: do you do? Like? When was the last time you

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Speaker 3: had an interaction like that? You know what?

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Speaker 1: In Japan it's like that. You know, everyone's really respectful,

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Speaker 1: even if they might recognize you, they don't ask for photos,

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Speaker 1: and it's a really amazing experience. I think it's important,

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Speaker 1: you know, just to listen. I love my life. I

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Speaker 1: love everything that comes along with it. I am not complaining,

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Speaker 1: but a little glimpse of that, I think, especially for

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Speaker 1: the little ones, is so good.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no's that's definitely a beautiful experience. I think it's

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Speaker 3: nice for everyone to feel wanted and loved and then

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Speaker 3: also feel unseen. Yeah, like we almost crave both of those.

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Speaker 3: I was thinking about it today. You're always surrounded by

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Speaker 3: film crews, and you know, you have like three hundred

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Speaker 3: and fifty two million people that follow you on Instagram.

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Speaker 3: I wonder do you ever do you prioritize time alone?

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Speaker 3: Do you get time alone? And what does that look like?

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Speaker 1: I do? I get up really early. My morning workout

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Speaker 1: is my I don't want to say therapy session because

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Speaker 1: it's not like I'm really communicating things. But even if

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Speaker 1: I'm quiet and I'm in my zone, that's my mental

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Speaker 1: health check. Every morning. I love my workout. It keeps

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Speaker 1: me sane. I can't say that enough. That's my time

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Speaker 1: in the morning. Then as soon as everyone starts to

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Speaker 1: get up for school, the madness happens, and it's about

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Speaker 1: two hours of madness from getting four kids ready in

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Speaker 1: the morning, fed out the door to school. I drop

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Speaker 1: off school every day, and then I have a little

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Speaker 1: bit of time i'd say about twenty minutes driving back

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Speaker 1: where I just blast my music. I don't take any calls.

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Speaker 1: That's my alone time. I love it. And then I

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Speaker 1: get to the house and I start my full work

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Speaker 1: day and I'm committed and focused, and then the madness

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Speaker 1: of bad time, bedtime, dinner time, and once four babies

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Speaker 1: are asleep, and I just cherish that time at night

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Speaker 1: when everyone sleep and I can watch whatever show I

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Speaker 1: want and just have some alone time. So I do

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Speaker 1: take the time for myself. I think it's really important.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, you said something beautiful before we started recording,

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Speaker 3: and I definitely want to go in that direction because

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Speaker 3: you were talking about the different platforms and how you

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Speaker 3: can show different parts of yourself, but you came here

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Speaker 3: because there was something specific, and I'd love to hear

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Speaker 3: that because I want to go in that direction with you.

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Speaker 1: I love your podcast. I've seen it and i've seen

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Speaker 1: I think I just love seeing the reels that pop

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Speaker 1: up with just a quick message that'll get you through

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Speaker 1: the day, that will remind you who you are, remind

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Speaker 1: you what you need to come across and see at

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Speaker 1: that moment in that day and carry you through the day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I think it's important for people to express like

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Speaker 1: how they feel and who they are a little bit

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Speaker 1: deeper and what's in their heart. And I think that's

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Speaker 1: kind of what this podcast is about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think, thank you for trusting me. I

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Speaker 3: really do value this and I don't take it for granted.

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Speaker 3: But the interesting thing there is, I feel like there's

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Speaker 3: a beautiful statement in Japanese culture says that we have

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Speaker 3: three faces. One face we show to the world, the

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Speaker 3: second face we show to our friends and family, and

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Speaker 3: the third face no one sees. And I wonder, when

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Speaker 3: you're talking about your values and who you are, what's

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Speaker 3: the part of you that you think no one gets

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Speaker 3: to see in all these other places that you want

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Speaker 3: to share today.

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Speaker 1: I definitely think I show all my faces, but I

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Speaker 1: do think that people pick and choose what they want

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Speaker 1: to take from you. I do share journeys of mine

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Speaker 1: that have been challenges, whether it's like law school and

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Speaker 1: different projects and how starting a business and all of that.

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Speaker 1: It definitely weave that in throughout. But I think that

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Speaker 1: anytime you have the opportunity to express yourself in a

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Speaker 1: more meaningful way, I think it's always a good thing

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Speaker 1: to do, especially since I'm just a big fan of

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Speaker 1: you and what you represent and who you are. So

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Speaker 1: I always love to share my tips and anything that

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Speaker 1: I've learned along the way, because God knows, it is

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Speaker 1: not easy. Yeah, Like parenting is so hard, family dynamics, relationships,

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Speaker 1: it is so hard.

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Speaker 3: It's really interesting you say that, because when I was

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Speaker 3: speaking to your mum, she was saying that about you.

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Speaker 3: She was saying that you're the person that for anyone

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Speaker 3: in your family, no matter how busy you are, you'll

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Speaker 3: go completely out of your way. She was telling me

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Speaker 3: about a particular incident, but she was just saying that

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Speaker 3: you will just dive in book everyone on the flight,

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Speaker 3: get everyone there, get to that person, help them, support them,

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Speaker 3: and even when it's someone who's not directly connected to

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Speaker 3: you but is indirectly connected. And yeah, I'm sure you

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Speaker 3: know what I'm talking about, but the idea of just

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Speaker 3: you reached that far out. And when I was hearing

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Speaker 3: that about you from her, I was thinking that that

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Speaker 3: takes so much compassion and care from your side, And

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Speaker 3: those are not two words that on some of the

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Speaker 3: other platforms that people may care about you. But that's

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Speaker 3: what I'm getting talking to your mother about you. And

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Speaker 3: I wonder how have you. I feel family is the

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Speaker 3: cause for so much stress for people. It's the cause

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Speaker 3: for so much anxiety for people, And as you said,

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Speaker 3: it's hard, how have you continued to lean in to

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Speaker 3: compassion and care even when it's easier to compare and

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Speaker 3: criticize and complain.

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Speaker 1: Well with family, I mean I was always raised like,

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Speaker 1: no matter what, blood is thicker than water, there's no

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Speaker 1: other options. So we definitely go through our things as sisters.

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Speaker 1: There's no other options, Like we will work it out,

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Speaker 1: like we are family, we are sisters. We will figure

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Speaker 1: it out. And I think you just have to. I

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Speaker 1: think also more compassion comes with age and the more

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Speaker 1: things that you've been through and especially I think my

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Speaker 1: heart has opened up so much in that space, just

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Speaker 1: spending time even with people behind bars that I'm fighting

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Speaker 1: for and I might not have even had the slightest

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Speaker 1: idea of what someone's gone through or even understood taking

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Speaker 1: the time to listen to people more than maybe speaking

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Speaker 1: and making it about yourself, and my compassion has just

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Speaker 1: grown and my empathy has grown on another level. You

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Speaker 1: can't really judge people for their pace on when they

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Speaker 1: choose to really want to dig deep into their own

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Speaker 1: compassion and empathy and when people choose to grow and evolve,

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Speaker 1: But it's so nice to have people that support that

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Speaker 1: journey and grow with you, because once you realize that

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Speaker 1: this life really isn't about you and it's about helping

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Speaker 1: as many people as you can, all these doors open

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Speaker 1: up for you and your mind just opens up, and

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Speaker 1: it's a really great place to be when you feel

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Speaker 1: like you have enough would chase things for so long

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Speaker 1: and when you just feel content, it's such a good

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Speaker 1: place to be and it's such an like allows for

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Speaker 1: so much more compassion.

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Speaker 3: I think, and I want everyone to go back and

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Speaker 3: listen to that part. I feel like you just beautifully

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Speaker 3: defined compassion, And I'm going to try and reiterate what

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Speaker 3: you just said. Yeah, it was just it was so

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Speaker 3: well said, because I think people think about compassion as care,

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Speaker 3: and you just defined it by pace, and I think

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Speaker 3: when you're patient for the pace at which people grow

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Speaker 3: and evolve, that actually is compassion.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing worse when someone is like so woke and

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Speaker 1: they they're on this therapy journey and they expect you

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Speaker 1: to be right there with them. But it's a beautiful

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Speaker 1: thing to sit back and watch people make mistakes, learn

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Speaker 1: from their mistakes, grow and evolve, and just be there

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Speaker 1: to hold their hand and support them. I think that's

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Speaker 1: what anyone would want. I've seen so many people on

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Speaker 1: these like self help journeys that just aren't as happy,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I think you just have to like

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Speaker 1: sit back and do what works for you and move

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Speaker 1: at your own pace and understand that it's okay that

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Speaker 1: you're not at the same level as someone else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just such a like everything happens the

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Speaker 1: way it's supposed to do. I love just people in

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Speaker 1: their own journeys and I never try to be so

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Speaker 1: preachy or to think that someone has to be in

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Speaker 1: my place and at the level where I've evolved too.

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Speaker 1: It's great when your friends have the same kind of

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Speaker 1: epiphanies as you and you want the same things. But

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Speaker 1: then sometimes it's just not like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, definitely. You brought two things to my mind.

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Speaker 3: One was what real love is like when you really

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Speaker 3: love your family. You don't love them because they change. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: your patient with them as they try to change. That's

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Speaker 3: what love is, because they may or may never get

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Speaker 3: to the other side. And the other thing that came

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Speaker 3: to mind is something my teachers would often tell me,

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Speaker 3: my Monk teaches. They would often repeat to me that

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Speaker 3: you're never trying to get someone to the next step

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Speaker 3: in your journey. You're trying to get them to the

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Speaker 3: next step in their journey.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I think you're so right that when we're doing

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Speaker 3: self work, we are constantly preaching to other people about

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Speaker 3: the things we want to hear, yeah, and the things

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Speaker 3: we want to do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And like self work can just be so different

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Speaker 1: for so many people, you know, Like my morning workouts,

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Speaker 1: I swear that's my self work. My drive in the

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Speaker 1: car every day, blasting whatever music I want to like,

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Speaker 1: that is my meditation that's my zone and that works

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Speaker 1: for me. You know, when I need help and I

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Speaker 1: need help figuring out different parenting things and different methods

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Speaker 1: that I can use, I will reach out and get

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Speaker 1: the help that I need when I need it, for sure.

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Speaker 1: But I also think there's just there's no like right

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Speaker 1: method of what works for everyone. You know, It's like

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Speaker 1: whatever works for you, you good for you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely. And I feel like when people

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Speaker 3: see you, and even even now you're talking, you have

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Speaker 3: so much trust in yourself or trust in your inner voice.

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Speaker 3: That doesn't mean I don't believe you're saying I always

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Speaker 3: get it right or this is the only way. What

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Speaker 3: you're actually saying is I've learned to trust my voice.

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Speaker 3: And I wonder was there a time when you didn't

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Speaker 3: trust that voice and or can you remember the first

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Speaker 3: time where you started to hear it? Like I remember,

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Speaker 3: the first time I've really started to hear my voice

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Speaker 3: deeply was probably when I was fourteen years old, and

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Speaker 3: that's when I could hear this voice inside of myself

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Speaker 3: that was like, Jay, this is who you are, this

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Speaker 3: is what you care about, this is what matters to you.

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Speaker 3: You don't need to be this or be that or

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Speaker 3: do it this way? And I remember I started listening

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Speaker 3: to it then and now that in a voice is

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Speaker 3: really loud. Yeah, it's always there.

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Speaker 1: But I wish i'd listened to my inner voice at fourteen.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember when you first started like, because when

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Speaker 3: I'm speaking, he's doing you Now you're just like, yeah, Like,

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Speaker 3: I'm very comfortable with people being themselves and I'm comfortable

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Speaker 3: with who I are, which is beautiful. But when did that?

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Speaker 3: I feel so many people want to live that way,

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Speaker 3: but that's the thing we all struggle with.

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Speaker 1: It definitely didn't come right away. You know. I was

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Speaker 1: a people pleaser and I would make decisions based off

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Speaker 1: of other people's happiness for so long, and I would say, honestly,

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Speaker 1: in the last few years, definitely at forty, you know,

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Speaker 1: I figured it out of just following my happiness, which

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Speaker 1: was really, I think an important place for me to

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Speaker 1: get to because I always put other people's happiness over

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Speaker 1: my own. And it doesn't mean you disregard other people's feelings,

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Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean you don't care and you don't

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Speaker 1: love them, but it is a great place to be

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Speaker 1: when you finally put yourself first. And I will say

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Speaker 1: that took a long time, and that was like relying

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Speaker 1: on other people for confidence in business decisions. And it's

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Speaker 1: great to have your team and to always like bounce

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Speaker 1: ideas and make sure that you're collectively picking the right

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Speaker 1: choice and work thing for you. But true confidence where

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Speaker 1: you feel you're making the right decisions, you know you

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Speaker 1: got it. You are thinking about yourself first, and not

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Speaker 1: just in a selfish way, but like in a protecting

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Speaker 1: your heart way. It feels really good and I might

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Speaker 1: not have gotten there until I was literally forty.

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Speaker 3: Hey everyone, it's Jay Schetty and I'm thrilled to announce

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Speaker 3: my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can

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00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 3: see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join

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00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,680
Speaker 3: me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations

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Speaker 3: with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert,

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00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 3: or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences

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Speaker 3: designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections.

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on

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00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,679
Speaker 3: cell now, Head to Jayshetty dot me and get yours today.

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Speaker 3: And what do you think it was about the last

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Speaker 3: few years where you had to tend towards that that

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Speaker 3: pushed you there.

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Speaker 1: I've never been an unhappy person. I'm always really happy

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Speaker 1: with my surroundings. I don't need people to make me happy.

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Speaker 1: I'm not really ever searching for something. I'm really content.

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Speaker 1: My babies make me happy, my family, my life, you know,

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Speaker 1: experiences make me happy. But when you just look around

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Speaker 1: and when there's like tension and stress that is just

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Speaker 1: not necessary from work, from relationships, from friendships, and you

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Speaker 1: just decide to be still and not try to please everyone,

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Speaker 1: it becomes just really clear, and you realize that you

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Speaker 1: just want to be happy and you want to share

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Speaker 1: this life, and that these experiences with your group of

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Speaker 1: people that you trust and you love and who are

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Speaker 1: super loyal. Like life is always going to be stressful

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Speaker 1: and you can't control half of it. But if you

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Speaker 1: can control what you put out and how you react

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Speaker 1: to all of life's stresses and your response to all

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Speaker 1: of that, and realizing that you could eliminate a lot

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Speaker 1: of those stresses with making yourself happy first and choosing yourself,

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Speaker 1: then you know you're on the right path. And once

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Speaker 1: I did that, and once I chose to choose myself

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Speaker 1: and be happy, so many opportunities just opened up, things

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Speaker 1: that I never thought in a million years would come

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Speaker 1: my way. It seemed like clear as day that the

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Speaker 1: universe was rewarding me for choosing myself and like elevating,

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Speaker 1: like getting to the next level in the video game,

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Speaker 1: like I had to get here, and I was always

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Speaker 1: like here, just in my growth process, and once I

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Speaker 1: chose myself, it was like, oh my god, the whole

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Speaker 1: the universe is opening up for you, and all these

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Speaker 1: opportunities are coming my way. And those were the confirmations

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Speaker 1: that I was heading in the right direction. I remember

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Speaker 1: saying that to one of my sisters. I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, it is so crazy. I got this opportunity,

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Speaker 1: this opportunity, this is changing, this is changing, and it

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Speaker 1: seemed like all these amazing things started to happen in

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Speaker 1: my life. When I just took a second, was still realized,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm trying to make everyone happy. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself. Let

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Speaker 1: me just like pull back a second focus on myself,

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Speaker 1: and then it seemed like everyone else was happier because

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Speaker 1: everything was just falling into place. And that was like

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Speaker 1: I saw it clear as day. And that would like

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Speaker 1: push me and motivate me to continue to just be

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Speaker 1: happy and do what I wanted to do instead of

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Speaker 1: what other people wanted to do. And that was like,

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Speaker 1: it was like a good feeling. It really like showed

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Speaker 1: me that I was making the right decisions.

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you. Thank you genuinely and dad.

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Speaker 1: A good place to be when you're genuinely a happy person.

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Speaker 1: You know. Complaints, Yeah, not taking things too seriously. Not

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Speaker 1: taking yourself too seriously is also a little key to happiness.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the energy that gets lost in worrying

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Speaker 3: about something versus working towards fixing it or solving it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, can just worrying the worrying. If you worry about something,

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Speaker 1: it's not going to change the outcome. Let's just come

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Speaker 1: up with a solution. Like, let's say what the problem is.

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Speaker 1: Not complain. I'm not a complainer, So it's like, let's

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Speaker 1: just get to the solution, let's figure it out, and

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Speaker 1: let's move on. Absolutely nothing worse when you complain every

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Speaker 1: step of the way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's and it's natural and it's easy, but

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Speaker 3: it we all know it doesn't get you to where

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Speaker 3: you want to go. And I think that's that's a

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Speaker 3: big reason. What's the uh? I wonder with what you

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Speaker 3: were saying. One of the big things that comes out

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Speaker 3: as you're talking about family and people in your life

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Speaker 3: and you talked about your life is chat like, there's

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Speaker 3: this loyalty is such a big value for you, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: across your life, it seems. Yeah, what have you learned

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Speaker 3: about people that you wish you learned sooner? Was there

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Speaker 3: something that you started to learn and recognize patterns in

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Speaker 3: people and that has made you better now? But you

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Speaker 3: wish like if I learned this a couple of years

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Speaker 3: sooner than it could have saved me a lot of

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Speaker 3: distress and challenges that came up.

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Speaker 1: Don't take anything personally. I've been really blessed to have

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Speaker 1: really great, solid relationships. I have the same group of

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Speaker 1: best friends. We went to preschool together. We talk every

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Speaker 1: single day. My best friend is my best friend since

437
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: the day I grow up, you know, when I was born.

438
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:47,879
Speaker 1: The people I work with my family, my sisters, but

439
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 1: my best friend's sisters also, you know, and everyone I

440
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: trust one hundred percent. Everyone is so loyal one hundred percent.

441
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 1: You can come up to me and tell me something

442
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 1: about one of my friends. If someone were to say, oh,

443
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: this person said this about you and they're in my circle,

444
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 1: I would be absolutely not like I would trust that

445
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. And I think that's so rare, or

446
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: what I've seen is so rare, And I just feel

447
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: so lucky to just love everyone around you. Trust everyone

448
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 1: around you. They trust you. My friends know they can

449
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: call me any hour. I'll be the first one to

450
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: pick up and help. All of my friends would drop

451
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: everything to help me in a situation. And to have

452
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,239
Speaker 1: that real support and love I think is everything in

453
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: life to have loyal, supportive people around you. And I

454
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: think you can also tell so much about a person

455
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:51,199
Speaker 1: that has really long standing relationships that stability. When I

456
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 1: look to hire people, I look at their previous jobs

457
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: and how long they've had those relationships for and think

458
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: about it. If there's someone that's bouncing from job to job,

459
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,919
Speaker 1: obviously there could be other situations that come into place,

460
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 1: but I value people that have these long standing relationships

461
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 1: with people, whether it's their employer or family, and that's

462
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: super important to me to have all my friends have

463
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: really important relationships in their life.

464
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: This episode is brought to you by eight Sleep. I

465
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 2: once had an old mattress that wasn't the best. It

466
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Speaker 2: was so uncomfortable, I swear I woke up feeling more

467
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Speaker 2: tired than when I went to bed. To make matters worse,

468
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,959
Speaker 2: it seemed to trap heat, making me feel hot and

469
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Speaker 2: stuffy at night. Did you know that temperature is one

470
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Speaker 2: of the most important factors in improving your sleep quality?

471
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Speaker 2: When you wake up in the middle of the night

472
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Speaker 2: or feel extra groggy in the morning, temperature is almost

473
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 2: always to blame. Why while traditional mattresses trap heat throughout

474
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 2: the night, science has shown that your body temperature actually

475
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,199
Speaker 2: needs to drop in the early and middle part of

476
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Speaker 2: your sleep and rise in the morning so that you

477
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 2: can fall asleep fast and get more deeps. The pod

478
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479
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Speaker 2: fitted sheet.

480
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 3: The pod cover will improve your sleep by automatically adjusting

481
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 3: the temperature on each side of the bed based on

482
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Speaker 3: you and your partner's individual needs. It can cool down

483
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Speaker 3: and warm up, and adjust based on the phases of

484
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Speaker 3: your sleep and the environment that you're in. I got

485
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Speaker 3: to share with you the amazing transformation that my eight

486
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Speaker 3: Sleep mattress is brought to my sleep game. The comfort

487
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Speaker 3: level is off the charts. But that's not even the

488
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Speaker 3: best part.

489
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 2: The temperature control technology has been a total game changer

490
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 2: for me. It's improved the quality of my sleep in

491
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Speaker 2: so many ways. I wake up feeling more refreshed, energized,

492
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 2: and ready to take on the day. It even tracks

493
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 2: my sleep patterns and can be integrated into my smart

494
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 2: home system. I've never experienced sleep like this. Invest in

495
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Speaker 2: the rest you deserve with the eight Sleep pod. Go

496
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 2: to eightsleep dot com forward slash Purpose for exclusive Memorial

497
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Speaker 2: Day savings on the pod cover through June sixth. Stay

498
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: cooled this summer with eight Sleep now shipping within the USA, Canada,

499
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 2: the UK, select countries in the EU and Australia. I

500
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 2: think that says a lot about you and the family,

501
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 2: because I wonder what it takes to hold on to

502
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 2: a relationship like that when you're on a rocket ship, right.

503
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 2: I feel like all of us deal with shifts in

504
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 2: our life, transitions and family and friends that we want

505
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 2: to hold on to. But it gets harder and harder,

506
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 2: especially when there's success, when there's envy, when there's competition,

507
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 2: and sometimes it's not because someone doesn't love you, it

508
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 2: doesn't care about you, it's so natural in the world

509
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 2: we live in. And so what does it really take?

510
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 2: Because I think this will help a lot of people,

511
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: What does it actually take to hold on to someone

512
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 2: you love and continue with all the noise and all

513
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 2: the challenges and all the stress that comes with it.

514
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 2: What does it actually take?

515
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 1: Because but theretose friends that you don't have to talk

516
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 1: to every day. I mean, thank god for group chats

517
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: where you can chime in and heart something really quick,

518
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: you know, but like your real best friends will all

519
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 1: so support you. And but it's it takes that mutual

520
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: respect because what my friends are doing, if they have

521
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 1: something that's important to them, it's just as important for

522
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: me to show up for them as it is for

523
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: them to show up for me. I might have a

524
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: more colorful life and a bigger event that I'm asking

525
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: them to show up to, but it doesn't mean that

526
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: theirs isn't just as important. So I think just having

527
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: that mutual respect, treating people with respect is just a given.

528
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: I truly think someone is such a solid person when

529
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: they have really grounded relationships. Grounded and love and relationships

530
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 1: can be different things. You know, Sometimes you have your

531
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: group of girlfriends that you love to go on vacation with.

532
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: And then sometimes you have you know, your other friends

533
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 1: that you work really well with. Every relationship can be different.

534
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: If you have just a mutual respect around the across

535
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 1: the board, that's I think the number one thing.

536
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 3: It takes two. Yeah, it takes too. That's the point.

537
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 3: It's you're not going to be able to create or

538
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 3: falsely hold on to. It's someone who doesn't totally want

539
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 3: to give you that respect. Yeah, it's not going to happen.

540
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

541
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 3: Well, you talked about earlier about parenting and you brought

542
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 3: up a few times and I wonder.

543
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 1: How you You don't have kids, do you?

544
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 3: I'm not yet, not yet.

545
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,919
Speaker 1: We'll have this conversation again when you do.

546
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 3: Absolutely, That's what I'm asking. That's I'm asking parenting questions.

547
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 3: What was your vision like for what you thought parenting

548
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 3: was going to be like versus what it actually is.

549
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: Everyone says the days are long and the years are short,

550
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: and that couldn't be like a more true statement. So,

551
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,880
Speaker 1: like when you're in it, I mean, especially when they're

552
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: babies and you're feeding and your there's madness going on.

553
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: It's like full madness. It's the best chaos though, Like

554
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: my mornings, you have no idea what's going on. It's

555
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: like I always have to do one of my daughter's

556
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: hair and it has to be perfect and it has

557
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: to be a certain way, and then this one needs

558
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: me to put his shoes on, and that they all

559
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: need you, and they all it's like full crazy madness,

560
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 1: cooking running around like it's it's wild. That's why I

561
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: need my workout in the morning, just to like prepare

562
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: for the two hours of craziness. I'd say parenting is

563
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: the thing that has taught me the most about myself.

564
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: It has been the most challenging thing. There are nights

565
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: I cry myself to sleep, like what just happened? You know,

566
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: with all the moods and the personalities, and sometimes they're

567
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 1: fighting and there's no one there, Like it's me to

568
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: play good cop and bad cops. So like that is

569
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: definitely a challenge when you know something I'm working on

570
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: is being a little bit firmer. You know, there's nothing

571
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 1: that can prepare you anyone. Any person that says, oh

572
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: we're waiting to have x amount of money in the bank,

573
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: Oh we're waiting to have a home before we have kids. Oh,

574
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for this job to come in before we

575
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: have kids. I don't care how long you wait, I

576
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: don't care what you're waiting for. You are never prepared,

577
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: but will figure it out and it will make you

578
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: so proud of yourself that you figured it out and

579
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: that you got through the day. And sometimes it's nights

580
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: where it's just we are going hour by hour to

581
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: see if we're going to survive night by night. If

582
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: a tantrum comes in, oh my god, your life is

583
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: completely upside down. But it teaches you so much more

584
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: about yourself than I think anyone any parent could have

585
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 1: ever anticipated. I mean, there is nights when you don't

586
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: wash your hair for days as a mom, and you

587
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 1: have sped up all over you and you're wearing the

588
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: same pajamas you know, and there's just nothing that can

589
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: prepare you for this experience. It is the most challenging

590
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: rewarding job on this planet.

591
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 3: When was a moment when you were looking into your babies'

592
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 3: faces and.

593
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: That I want to run away, I need to hide

594
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: for a night every night. I'm just kidding.

595
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 3: No, yeah, no, thank you. I mean it's honest. I

596
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,479
Speaker 3: think there's a little bit of truth in that feeling

597
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 3: that a lot of parents have. What's the hardest when

598
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 3: you've been looking when you look into their faces and

599
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 3: you had one of these moments where you were learning

600
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 3: these lessons, What was the hardest lesson you had to

601
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 3: learn about yourself that made you go, WHOA, I didn't

602
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 3: I didn't see that before. If it wasn't for that kid,

603
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have seen that.

604
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens all the time. I always think everything

605
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: in life comes our way to really teach us something.

606
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: And it's a really hard task when you have four

607
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 1: kids and you know they all want to be put

608
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: to bed at the same time by the same person,

609
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: and they all want to do it individually and have

610
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: that experience, and no one wants to wait. And I'm

611
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: locked in a room with kids banging outside of the

612
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: door because they want me to put them to bed,

613
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't cut myself in four pieces.

614
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: So we're gonna have to schedule this out. And we're

615
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: coming up with the schedule and none of them want

616
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: to listen to the schedule, and then they all start crying.

617
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: And that's like a typical night, you know, And so

618
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: I like sit them outside of my one daughter's door,

619
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: and I'm like, i'll pick you up next. We're doing

620
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: this for fifteen minutes and they can't be patient and

621
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: they're banging on the door. Come on, it's been five minutes.

622
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 1: You know. It's like those nights are every single night,

623
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: big school projects, big things that are happening, and they

624
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 1: don't understand that I work, or I have a school

625
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: schedule too, or you know, stuff kids will never understand.

626
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: So I think it's just those nights when you can't

627
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,719
Speaker 1: divide yourself and you have to just work with what

628
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: we have and try to bribe two of them to

629
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: get put to bed at the same time. You know,

630
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: I think unless you're a pal, like so much respect

631
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 1: to parents, so much respect to people also that aren't parents,

632
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 1: that want to live their free life enjoy it while

633
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: you can't. I was at Easter on Palm Springs and

634
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: I looked at my mom's house and she had her

635
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: table set for all of her kids, all of her grandkids,

636
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: and we're all staying in her house. And I was like,

637
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: it's a forever thing. It's not like, hey, okay, you're

638
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: eighteen and you're on your own. It's a foreverthing. And

639
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: we're in our forties and we're still coming at her

640
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: and fighting and asking my mom to resolve everything. And

641
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: I look at her and I'm like, how did you

642
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 1: do it? I personally can't wait for my kids to

643
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: get a little bit older. Everyone is so afraid of

644
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: the teenage phase. I'm so excited for it. Play this

645
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,719
Speaker 1: back for me when they're teenagers all probably, But I

646
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: see the relationship I have with my mom, and I

647
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: knew the relationship I had with my dad, and how

648
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: comfortable we were talking to them about all of our

649
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: problems and all of our friends stuff and all of

650
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: the drama and all of the high school stuff, and

651
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: even the stuff I talk to my mom about now,

652
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: and how open I am about life and relationships and

653
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: how close we are. Even if we didn't get it

654
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: as a kid, I can look at her now and say,

655
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: I get it as a mom now as an adult. Now,

656
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 1: I know why you made those decisions. And I love

657
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: having that relationship. And that is why I wanted to

658
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: have four kids. I saw my mom, you know, and

659
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: my dad had four together before she had my two

660
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: little sisters, and I loved the big family. And I

661
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: always knew I wanted to have four kids, and I

662
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: just love so much our relationship with her and my grandma,

663
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,760
Speaker 1: and I just can't wait to have that with my kids.

664
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 1: I can't wait till they're old enough to understand so

665
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 1: much that I can never explain to them now that

666
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: they'll get one day and we can laugh about it.

667
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 3: That's so beautiful. Yeah, you reminded me of a beautiful

668
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,280
Speaker 3: old saying that says, the day you realize your parents

669
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 3: were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong.

670
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: So true.

671
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like that idea of just your when

672
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 3: you're a little boy, you like adore your mom, at

673
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 3: least I did them until like thirteen years old. Then

674
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 3: you've become a teenager and you think you're too cool

675
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 3: for your mom.

676
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

677
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 3: And then in my twelies back, Yeah, they have.

678
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: Like contracts with my sons. I'm like, you're never going

679
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: to leave me. We always have to be besties. You're

680
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: never going to be too cool for me, And they

681
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: always say yes, Yeah. I'm like, you can live with

682
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,399
Speaker 1: me in your twenties, your thirties, never move out.

683
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: They said, Okay, they've signed the contract. Yeah, yeah, and

684
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 3: they have no idea.

685
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,239
Speaker 1: I'll preach it. Yeah, it'll be okay.

686
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you won't see them.

687
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

688
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 3: But the I wonder how in your position, like you know,

689
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 3: what you just described is what so many people go through,

690
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 3: and like you said, it's so hard for them to

691
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 3: experience that. But when you're explaining things like the paparazzi,

692
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 3: like you're saying that when you're in Japan, like you

693
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 3: didn't have that experience and that was so nice for

694
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 3: the kids, Like how do you walk them through the

695
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 3: nuances of the life that you lead. And I'm guessing

696
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 3: a lot of their friends also have similar lives, but

697
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,720
Speaker 3: I'm sure they have some friends who don't have parents

698
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 3: like yourselves, And so how do you help them reconcile?

699
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 3: What are the kind of things that you talk about

700
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 3: with them or what can they understand at this age

701
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 3: and what are you like, Well, that's just going to

702
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 3: have to wait.

703
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to

704
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: ask me about. I am so open and honest with

705
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: my kids. I think that's the only way to be

706
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: And it could be things that they might not understand,

707
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: and I'll wait to find the appropriate time to talk

708
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 1: about it. I think they grew up seeing the cameras,

709
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: and they grew up seeing that even as babies, you know,

710
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 1: we'd walk out and there'd be paparazzi. So it's not

711
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,839
Speaker 1: really something that they acknowledge a lot. But you know,

712
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: my daughter's really vocal. She'll tell them when she doesn't

713
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 1: want them around and to leave her alone and to stop.

714
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: And I love that they use their little voices. But

715
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: they also have such a normal life and such a

716
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: different life away from all of that too, And that's

717
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: why I love that my sisters and I all had

718
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: babies at the same time, so they can be with

719
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: each other and have these experiences together.

720
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 3: Absolutely, when i'm you know, there's all the words that

721
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 3: come out from you, like togetherness, loyalty. It's incredible to

722
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 3: see it in family. But I think what you've then done,

723
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 3: which when I saw you do this, it really moved

724
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 3: me when I saw you kind of move into that

725
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 3: direction of justice reform and using your voice and training

726
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 3: to be a lawyer to make these changes in the

727
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 3: world out there, because I find that, you know, there's

728
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 3: a natural sense of survival as a family, but then

729
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 3: when you start taking into account the survival of others,

730
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,439
Speaker 3: there's an extension of love and you know what goes

731
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 3: out to the world. And yeah, I think it was

732
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 3: really special to see that this podcast is called on

733
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 3: Purpose for a reason, because I think everyone's searching for

734
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 3: their purpose. Would you say that that was a expression

735
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 3: of purpose or absolutely?

736
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's one of those moments, like

737
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 1: by chance, I happened to be looking on social media

738
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 1: and seeing a case that I just didn't understand. And

739
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm always a really curious person, so I'll never let

740
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: something go if it's weighing on my heart to not

741
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: at least try to figure out how it happened. I've

742
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:11,800
Speaker 1: always been really interested in crime stuff and solving things

743
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 1: and figuring things out. So when I saw a case

744
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: of a woman that just didn't make sense to me,

745
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: I was really curious, and I sent this little video

746
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: that popped up on my Twitter to attorneys that I

747
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: knew really well that could answer questions for me. And

748
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: then when it seemed like I couldn't just sit there

749
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: it was really weighing on my heart when I felt

750
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: like it was so unfair. I didn't know that there

751
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 1: was like thousands of cases that were so unfair. I

752
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 1: just thought, oh wow, like I have to help this person.

753
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: And then when I was successful in doing that on

754
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 1: my journey, I realized, like, wait, there's so many more

755
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: people like this, like I can't not do something. And

756
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: I think that that also goes with whatever's meant to

757
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: come to you at your own pace, for your own

758
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: learning levels, is what's meant to be. Because that came

759
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 1: to me, I wasn't like searching for that, and that

760
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: changed my life and it changed who I am. I

761
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 1: just can't sit around and see this happen to other

762
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: people that aren't deserving of their freedom. I think just

763
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: everyone's on their own path and things will come to

764
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: you when you need to be like elevated to that

765
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: growth level. And I'm really grateful for those experiences because

766
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,280
Speaker 1: I definitely think that that's my purpose.

767
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 3: What internal changes did you see in yourself that maybe

768
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 3: you didn't see before when you started doing this work,

769
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 3: Like what did you have to grapple with internally? Was

770
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 3: there anything that you had to break through inside? Yeah?

771
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 3: What would those things?

772
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: I would say? I always felt like I was a

773
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: compassionate person and a caring person, and I always cared

774
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: about people's feelings, but my level of empathy was at

775
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: a completely different level. When I started, I might have

776
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 1: been way more judgmental, and I would think that someone

777
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: that was behind bars, especially for a really lengthy or

778
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 1: a serious crime, that they probably were absolutely guilty. I

779
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: had no compassion. I was just really judgmental. And then

780
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 1: when I started to hear about these cases and people's

781
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: backstories and their histories and realized that so many people

782
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:31,320
Speaker 1: really didn't have the opportunities to be better and didn't

783
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: know better, it really changed my whole life, and like,

784
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: my level of empathy is just so different than what

785
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: it was years ago. And I think that's why I

786
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: fight so hard for people to get second chances, Because

787
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 1: people make really bad choices and really bad mistakes, some

788
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 1: way way worse than other people. But if you're never

789
00:40:54,719 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: given the chance to change, that's really sad, especially if

790
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: you make a really bad decision as a teenager and

791
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: then you're in your forties and you're given no shot

792
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: to change when you really already maybe have so much.

793
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 1: It was really important to me to express that and

794
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: help people that have made those changes.

795
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 3: And I love how I'm assuming that when you do

796
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 3: something like that in the outside space, it kind of

797
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 3: applies to your whole life, where all of a sudden,

798
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,439
Speaker 3: you're so right that I think we all not even

799
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 3: people behind bars. I think we all judge people all

800
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 3: the time. Yeah, and when you're almost doing it in

801
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 3: such an extreme way and raising your empathy in such

802
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 3: an extreme environment, you can now extend that and express

803
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 3: that to so many more people. Yeah, because you've had

804
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 3: to do it in a way where you were like, oh,

805
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 3: definitely that person deserves it. Yeah, and all of a

806
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 3: sudden you start realizing maybe they didn't deserve that. Yeah,

807
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 3: So maybe we don't deserve this. I think, you know,

808
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 3: but in.

809
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 1: All levels of life of judgment. I used to judge

810
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: people and like their relationships and how people lived their lives,

811
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: and now whatever makes you happy? Why should we judge?

812
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 1: Who were we to say how people should live their lives?

813
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: My judgment is just I don't know if it comes

814
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: with age or experience or just going through so many things,

815
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 1: but just be happy, you know. Isn't that what life

816
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: is about? Experiences making people feel heard and seen and appreciated,

817
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: and just having gratitude for the things in life that

818
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: we're so blessed to have and work for and for.

819
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: Surrounded by the people we love we are. That's real success.

820
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I agree, And I feel that a

821
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 3: lot of people start getting better at that with the

822
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 3: judgment outside. But one of the things that people struggle

823
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 3: to deal with the most is the judgment in their head.

824
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 3: And I wonder, do you find that you ever catch

825
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 3: yourself judging yourself and being hard on yourself and being

826
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 3: heavy and harsh on yourself. You've been able to give

827
00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 3: that up.

828
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: I'll be like competitive with myself. I think I'm a

829
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:07,720
Speaker 1: really competitive person, but I'm pretty I'm pretty easy on myself.

830
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:08,720
Speaker 3: Wow, that's incredible.

831
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 1: I was always like, really calm, really easy going.

832
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 3: That's a real achievement. Yeah, and I'm sure you see

833
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 3: people judging themselves all the time.

834
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:16,959
Speaker 1: Yeah.

835
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 3: I was grabbing some coffees for my team a couple

836
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 3: of months back or something, and I remember like I

837
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 3: was paying the cashier and she gave me the change

838
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 3: and I was grabbing the change of walking off, and

839
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 3: she was like, wait, wait, wait, I'm so stupid. I'm

840
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: so stupid. I got the change wrong. And I was

841
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 3: like I didn't even notice. And I looked and I

842
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,720
Speaker 3: was like, oh okay, Like I was like, you're not stupid,

843
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 3: like easy mistaken. You can see the look on her

844
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 3: face like she was judging herself so harshly for something

845
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 3: so small. And I guess when you see people judge themselves,

846
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 3: then how do you how do you respond to that

847
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 3: or how do you support them?

848
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: Honestly, I really haven't experienced that much.

849
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: That's fantastic. Yeah, that's amazing, And I love hearing that

850
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 3: because I think it is so true that you can

851
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 3: curate and create a community around you that has similar values. Yeah,

852
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 3: and then almost you don't even I.

853
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: See a lot of like determination and a lot of

854
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 1: like creativity, a lot of hard work. Like if I

855
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: were to go on vacation with my girlfriends, we'd all

856
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 1: be getting up probably at six am, all want to

857
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 1: go on a workout. I don't think there's that one

858
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: girl that would be like, I'm sleeping till ten and

859
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: I'm not working out, you know. So I think that

860
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 1: obviously everyone around you is different and has different personalities.

861
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of my core friends are

862
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: really like minded.

863
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes that positive, positive peer pressure can be

864
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,440
Speaker 3: really healthy too, Like, yeah, even if you have that

865
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 3: one friend who's struggling, as soon as you're added to

866
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 3: that group totally. You see the maleovey. I've seen that

867
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 3: with so many of my friends that totally. Even if

868
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 3: there's one person who's struggling with something, as soon as

869
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 3: they're in that pack, yeah, all of a sudden you

870
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 3: start to see them break through their ceiling. Yeah, and

871
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 3: it changes for them.

872
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think something that I've learned maybe the hard way,

873
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm at a really good place

874
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 1: now where the people in my life I feel really solid.

875
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 1: I think this is the first time in my life.

876
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 1: Obviously I've had really long relationships with my girlfriends and

877
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: friends since elementary school. But something I learned is that

878
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: you cannot help people that don't want the help and

879
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: don't You can't force your beliefs and project that on

880
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 1: someone that thinks something totally different. And it's okay to

881
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,439
Speaker 1: have those different views. It's why the world goes round,

882
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 1: you know. But if you don't align in the same

883
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: values and morals and things at your core, then it's

884
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 1: okay to realize that this life is so short and

885
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: you should go and find the people that do align

886
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 1: with what you really believe in. And I think sometimes

887
00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: there's so much going on that you can be blinded

888
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 1: by so many other things that if you don't stop

889
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 1: and think about what someone's true values and morals are

890
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,959
Speaker 1: and how they want to live their life, so much

891
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 1: other things are going on. So I don't blame people

892
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 1: that don't really stop and think about those things. I mean,

893
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: those are some of the lessons that I would teach

894
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: my kids when they're looking for friends and partners and relationships. Yeah,

895
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 1: you can't really force things upon other people. You can't

896
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,280
Speaker 1: expect them to be where you're at at your level.

897
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: And sometimes that could really coexist really well, but then

898
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: sometimes it really can't. You have to let go of

899
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 1: the idea of molding people into what you want. Think

900
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,879
Speaker 1: about if there's something about yourself that you really want

901
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 1: to change, the expectations of going into something and thinking

902
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: you're going to get a different result, or thinking you

903
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: have the power to change someone is so selfish and

904
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 1: so crazy, and everyone does it and everyone has to

905
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: learn on their own. And that's something that I've always

906
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: like sat back, helped friends, given them advice, but never

907
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: really pushed because even if I were to say, hey,

908
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: don't walk down that path, trust me, I've been there.

909
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 1: You don't want to go there and they say okay,

910
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 1: and they follow you and they go on a different path.

911
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 1: They'll never learn that lesson. They have no clue what

912
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. You know, I could say parenting stuff

913
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: to you all day long, with all due respect, you

914
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: have no clue until you've been through it. I welcome

915
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 1: people's journeys and their lessons, and I'll always be there

916
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: to the people that I love to help them through that.

917
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: But they got to go through that in order to

918
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: grow on their own.

919
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 3: What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that

920
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 3: you try to pass on to the kids.

921
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:49,320
Speaker 1: I think just how she makes people feel really heard

922
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: and welcomed. She really is the most warm, welcoming person,

923
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 1: and it's just like her overall. It seems superficial, but

924
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: it's not like her party planning skills. It's not even that.

925
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 1: It's just the welcomingness of I don't even know if

926
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,839
Speaker 1: these are words I'm saying, but like just her ability

927
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 1: to be so warm and to make everyone feel like

928
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 1: they were invited here. I'm going to create this special

929
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: Easter dinner with like the things on the table, you

930
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: know that she had when we were growing up at

931
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: my dad's house, Like she just has all this like

932
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 1: really special nostalgic stuff around all the time and always

933
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: tries to make everyone feel so special, but with like

934
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around.

935
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,760
Speaker 1: Like she just loves people in her space and loves

936
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 1: to create these memories. And I think that we all

937
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 1: got that from her, and we will all if I

938
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: can just pass that on to my kids, just the

939
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just

940
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we make the

941
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: time to be together. And I hope that my kids

942
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 1: want to make the time to be together when they

943
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: grow up, with their cousins and their aunts and just

944
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 1: the whole family.

945
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 3: I'm sure they will. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think

946
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 3: I think you've managed to hold onto it in your

947
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 3: entire generation, and so yeah, they see that. I think

948
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 3: kids mirror so much of what they see around them.

949
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 3: And I remember when I met my wife, her grandma

950
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 3: is her favorite human on the planet. And it's really

951
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 3: interesting how when someone you love you know who their

952
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 3: favorite human is, you automatically start loving them. And I

953
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: wasn't really close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to

954
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 3: Rady's grandparents like grandmother, and I am to my own

955
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 3: grandparents because you see your love for the person that

956
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 3: you love, and so I think when your kids see

957
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: the love that you have for your sisters and your

958
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 3: cousins and your aunts and uncles.

959
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: And now if only all my kids can love their siblings,

960
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 1: that would be amazing. They're in a fighting phase.

961
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and you guys went through that phase.

962
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, still going on, never ending.

963
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 3: It's never going to stop. Kim. I feel like you

964
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 3: travel so much, you have so many businesses. You're now

965
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: going to be on a TV show, like another TV show.

966
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 3: I mean, You've got so much things happening in your life,

967
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 3: and I'm sure there's moments where whether the kids say

968
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 3: something or don't. I know a lot of people in

969
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 3: my life feel a lot of mom guilt. Yeah, and

970
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 3: moms carry it with them. Have you experienced that with

971
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 3: your friends your family?

972
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing. I think

973
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 1: that you have to also separate though, and understand that

974
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: you need your own bit of sanity. So you have

975
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 1: to do what makes you happy. You have to working.

976
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: For me, I love working, so that makes me happy.

977
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: Anytime I think something's really hard, I dive into work

978
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: and or if there's challenges, like I love to dive

979
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 1: into my work and that's like a bit of my

980
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: therapy and my routine to keep me going. But I think,

981
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 1: you know, I have chats with my girlfriends when our

982
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: kids are having tantrums and there could be things going

983
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: on that we don't even know about, and you feel

984
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: like you're the worst mom if something's going on and

985
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 1: you can't fix it, you have no idea how to

986
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,280
Speaker 1: change it. Your kids are fighting, whatever it is, and

987
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 1: my friends and I will text each other and be

988
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: like in tears, literally locking ourselves in the room, like

989
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 1: away from a kid having a tantrum. When that's not

990
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 1: what you should do. You should go and lean into them.

991
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:32,800
Speaker 1: But sometimes it's so overwhelming. That was probably the only

992
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 1: time I'd be hard on myself. Is am I a

993
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,879
Speaker 1: good mom? I try to do everything? And I think

994
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:43,399
Speaker 1: how to balance work with that is when you're home

995
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 1: being really present. Kids all they want is time. They

996
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,760
Speaker 1: just want your time. You can give them all these amazing,

997
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,759
Speaker 1: big experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but

998
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 1: they'll always remember you being present. And I think that's

999
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,880
Speaker 1: just the most important thing in all of your life relationships.

1000
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 1: Think about what a kid wants. A kid just wants

1001
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: your time, so why wouldn't everyone else. You have to

1002
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 1: kind of treat everyone like that if you want these

1003
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: like meaningful relationships in your life, and you have to

1004
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: be present. And it's okay to feel like you are

1005
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 1: not one hundred percent at being the best mom. I

1006
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 1: say this all the time. There's no manual. They do

1007
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 1: not come with a manual. Everyone's doing the best that

1008
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 1: they can. And I just feel so lucky that I

1009
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 1: have a good group of girlfriends and all of our

1010
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: kids are experiencing different things from I mean, imagine all

1011
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 1: the things that they divorce, everything that they have to

1012
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: go through. We're okay. They will be okay, and they

1013
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 1: will feel the love and support and that's all you

1014
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: can do. It'll be okay.

1015
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 3: And I'm sure that's hard for you because you were

1016
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 3: saying that you're so competitive with yourself if you want

1017
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 3: to be the best to everything. Yeah, but I feel

1018
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 3: like being the best mom must be the hardest, hardest

1019
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 3: thing to ever live up to.

1020
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I'm very confident. So every year I write

1021
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,399
Speaker 1: each one of my kids about a four or five

1022
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: page letter about on their birthday, about what the year

1023
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 1: was like, who their friends are, silly words, they're saying,

1024
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 1: their favorite foods, all the silly things that they do,

1025
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 1: and a little journey of what the year is like.

1026
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 1: And it's so fun to see from the first year

1027
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 1: now you know, one of them almost ten years old,

1028
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: and just to I know that they'll appreciate this. I

1029
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 1: know that they'll appreciate everything that they might have thought

1030
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: I was being a little harsh on me protecting them.

1031
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,439
Speaker 1: I know that they'll they'll get it because I got

1032
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: it with my mom, and I know they'll get it

1033
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 1: with me.

1034
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 3: You've reminded me of something beautiful that I want to

1035
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 3: share that. So, my mom and dad were birthda immigrants

1036
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: in London, which is where I was born and raised,

1037
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 3: and both my parents worked ever since I was a kid,

1038
00:53:57,840 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 3: and so i'd get dropped to daycare, get picked up

1039
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 3: in the year. But what I remember is something you said.

1040
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,880
Speaker 3: My mom would come and pick me up, and I

1041
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 3: still remembered the look on her face when she'd pick

1042
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 3: me up. She'd had this big smile, she'd give me

1043
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 3: the biggest hug, she'd take me home and we'd sit

1044
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 3: down together while she was cooking, and we'd just talk

1045
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 3: to each other. And it's almost like I never had

1046
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 3: a lot of time with my parents growing up, but

1047
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 3: I felt so much presence. And I honestly believe today

1048
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 3: that I have so much love to give because my

1049
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:28,240
Speaker 3: mom infused me with love, Like my mom's just like, yeah,

1050
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 3: you know, bathe me in so much love totally that

1051
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 3: it's so easy for me to be loving because I've

1052
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 3: always had infinite amounts of it from my moum the best.

1053
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't imagine. I love on my kids so hard.

1054
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: They are so annoyed with me, and I love it.

1055
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 3: What I find genuinely inspiring about you and the way

1056
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 3: you think and focus is that you want to be

1057
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 3: this incredible mom, but you also want to show the

1058
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 3: kids what a passionate, purpose driven person looks like. Yeah,

1059
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,919
Speaker 3: and I think, forget that that's also parenting, Like I'm

1060
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:04,879
Speaker 3: not a parent, but I can honestly say it that

1061
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 3: when I saw my mom working late at night and

1062
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:10,719
Speaker 3: waking up early in the morning, I look back at

1063
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,720
Speaker 3: my mom and I think my mom is a superwoman. Yeah,

1064
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,800
Speaker 3: And I look back at that as inspirat.

1065
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: My kids think that on me.

1066
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 3: One day, they will. They will because they'll see that.

1067
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 3: And I think same with my dad. Like I saw

1068
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 3: my dad and how much he had to work, Yeah,

1069
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 3: and there was something powerful about that.

1070
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 1: I think. I always like to show them, Like I

1071
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 1: drop my kids off at school and then I have

1072
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 1: two or three hours of law school, so I gotta go.

1073
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:35,759
Speaker 1: I'm on time because I have my school and they

1074
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 1: have been on the journey with me. They saw me

1075
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: take the bar exam. They saw me open my results

1076
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 1: and not pass multiple times. They saw me open up

1077
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: the results and pass and I was crying and they

1078
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,879
Speaker 1: felt my hard work and it paid off. I want

1079
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: to show them that finding a passion and working, to me,

1080
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 1: is something I love to do and there's so much

1081
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 1: joy in that for me, and I want them to

1082
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 1: feel that positive experience, and I encourage that from them,

1083
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 1: Like I want to just show them as many positive

1084
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 1: experiences as I can and show them that you know,

1085
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 1: you can work hard and you can love it. And

1086
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 1: I just try to live my life and be a

1087
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 1: good example for them.

1088
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,879
Speaker 3: I think it comes through and I do believe that,

1089
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:25,440
Speaker 3: Like when I look back at my parents, all I

1090
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 3: can do is appreciate my mom. All I can do.

1091
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 1: I hope they do. Sometimes they tell me I'm the

1092
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 1: meanest mom in the world because I won't buy them

1093
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: roadblocks every day. You know. It's like I'm like, it's okay,

1094
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 1: I could be the meanest mom in the world. Yeah,

1095
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 1: you know.

1096
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 3: I think that's what moms do. Moms are willing to

1097
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 3: be anything that kids need them to be, even if

1098
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 3: it's that for shal period of time. Yeah, Kim, you've

1099
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:49,040
Speaker 3: been so gracious and kind with your time today. We

1100
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 3: end every On Purpose episode with a final five. The

1101
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 3: first question is what is the best advice you've ever

1102
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:56,439
Speaker 3: received or heard?

1103
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 1: Something that I've learned about time is just that we

1104
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 1: never have enough of time, So really be present and

1105
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 1: make the most of your relationships because we're not here

1106
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 1: very long and we have one life.

1107
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 3: Was there a moment that made you realize that or

1108
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 3: something that happened that made you realize that.

1109
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I think when you lose a parent, you're

1110
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 1: always really mindful of time, And my mom talks about

1111
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 1: it all the time. I think she's like probably the

1112
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 1: one thing in life she's scared about, you know, and

1113
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 1: keeps her up at night sometimes, so just making sure

1114
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: that you make the most of everything because it'll go

1115
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 1: by so fast.

1116
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 3: Second question, what is the worst life advice you've ever

1117
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 3: received or heard?

1118
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: I think maybe the worst advice could be almost too

1119
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: much advice or too many opinions. If you really trust

1120
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 1: your gut and you do what you want to do,

1121
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: and if you're in your bobble and when the world

1122
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 1: gets to that little piece of your bubble, and there

1123
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 1: can be so many opinions, I think sometimes all of

1124
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: the conflicting advice can just be bad advice that even

1125
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 1: if you're supposed to make your mistake and maybe do

1126
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 1: what you want to do with any bad piece of advice,

1127
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 1: that's still a part of your journey. So sometimes just

1128
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: do what you want to do and not take in

1129
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 1: all of the advice is really healthy.

1130
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 3: I think that's great, And don't ask for in the

1131
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 3: first place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have that one

1132
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 3: friend who totally messages like twenty five people with the

1133
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 3: same question. Totally yeah, definitely good answer, all right. Question

1134
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 3: number three. If tomorrow not wishing this, no intentions, no

1135
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 3: energy towards this, but if tomorrow you had to restart,

1136
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 3: what would you do if tomorrow everything went away and

1137
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 3: you had to restart, what would you do business wise?

1138
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 2: Like?

1139
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 3: Would that shift?

1140
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 1: I think I would probably be a lawyer and just

1141
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: focus on that and go to law school and focus

1142
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 1: on being an attorney full time, because I just think

1143
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: the feeling of being able to help people is really

1144
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 1: powerful and necessary, and I would just focus on that.

1145
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:20,840
Speaker 3: That's such a hartful answer. I love that. That's beautiful.

1146
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 3: I'm glad I asked you. Yeah, I just feel like

1147
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 3: it's really interesting. I was having a conversation last night

1148
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 3: with with the mutual friends of ours Scooter Braun and Oh.

1149
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 3: We were together last night and we were talking about

1150
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:35,440
Speaker 3: this idea about how we often think that our experiences

1151
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 3: make us who we are, or is it that you

1152
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 3: are just going to be who you are anyway because

1153
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 3: that's who you were meant to be.

1154
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 1: I think it's both. Yeah, think about it. You can

1155
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 1: be the most talented person, but if you don't have

1156
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 1: that determination and drive, then what will become of it?

1157
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 1: You know, it's not just going to magically happen because

1158
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 1: you're talented, of course, So I think so much of

1159
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: it is the effort what you do with that and

1160
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 1: figuring that out and who you are and what you

1161
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:05,440
Speaker 1: want to put out in the world.

1162
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 3: I guess my point is that I think you have

1163
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 3: that energy of wanting to be the best, of wanting

1164
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 3: to do things really well, of wanting to do things

1165
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 3: with that quality, and whatever you ended up doing with it, yeah,

1166
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 3: it would have been that and it is that you're doing.

1167
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 1: You have to no matter even if this isn't the

1168
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 1: job that you want, no matter what it is that

1169
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 1: you're doing, you have to be full of your best.

1170
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 1: You have to put in two hundred percent. You have

1171
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:36,280
Speaker 1: no idea who's paying attention. You're at that place exactly

1172
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 1: what where you're supposed to be at that time. There's

1173
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,000
Speaker 1: nothing worse than someone that doesn't want to give it.

1174
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: They're all no matter what it is, and it could be.

1175
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:48,360
Speaker 1: That's like, you know, business advice that I heard that

1176
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 1: always stuck with me and always was even when I

1177
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 1: was working at a clothing store. I was so happy

1178
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 1: to be there organizing. I did my yet I did

1179
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 1: my absolute best that I could sell everything and steaming

1180
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 1: everything and hanging everything. And I think those experiences just

1181
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 1: show you what you want to do in your life,

1182
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 1: show other people really what you're made of. I'm just

1183
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,479
Speaker 1: like a I'm a really competitive person. So no matter

1184
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:17,280
Speaker 1: what it is that I'm doing, I want to be

1185
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 1: the best at that. I want to learn everything about it.

1186
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 1: And I'm just a super curious person.

1187
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 3: Beautiful question of before. See as we've been talking about values,

1188
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 3: what's something that you used to value that you no

1189
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 3: longer feel your value anymore?

1190
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 1: Definitely material designer things I used to value, I mean stuff.

1191
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:46,280
Speaker 1: I live in an area where there would be fires

1192
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 1: a lot, and there was probably four times we had

1193
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 1: to fully pack up the house, everything out houses catching

1194
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: on fire, property caught on fire, like really close to

1195
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 1: losing everything. First time, packed up my entire shoe and

1196
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 1: bad closet and a lot of them because there were

1197
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 1: memory stuff from my dad, stuff in high school, but

1198
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:11,919
Speaker 1: all designer stuff, also videos, photos, whatever, digitized everything. Put

1199
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 1: everything important somewhere else. Second, pack up the designer stuff,

1200
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 1: but leave some. Leave some of the clothes. You know,

1201
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: I don't really need all the clothes, but I packed

1202
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 1: a hotel for months. Bags and every designer thing that

1203
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 1: I had had to come. Third time, leave all the

1204
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 1: bags and shoes I don't I don't need them. We

1205
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 1: got all the we got all the photos, we got

1206
01:02:33,920 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 1: all the my little blanky when I was little, you know,

1207
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 1: the kids stuff. Fourth time, leave everything, me and my babies.

1208
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 1: That's all I need, you know. I have all my

1209
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 1: photos digitized. I have everything digital. We got our passports.

1210
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 1: We're good. And that like evolution of like they had

1211
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:58,160
Speaker 1: to go in and get all my designer stuff or

1212
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm not leaving my house. You know it's going to

1213
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:04,400
Speaker 1: catch on fire. And now I'm like, nothing is worth it,

1214
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 1: nothing is important. And I think that comes from life experiences,

1215
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: scary experiences, things shaking you to your core to make

1216
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:19,040
Speaker 1: you realize that nothing is important. You can't I know

1217
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 1: everyone says this, but like you can't take it with you.

1218
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 1: None of it is important.

1219
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a beautiful Islamic proverb that says detachment doesn't

1220
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 3: mean that you own nothing. It means that nothing owns you.

1221
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 3: And I feel so often we become owned by I

1222
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 3: love that dreams, our desires, our pursuits, our things. Yeah,

1223
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that we have to give them all

1224
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,919
Speaker 3: away or we don't have those things. It's just if

1225
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 3: and when we have to let go totally willing, are

1226
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 3: we able to let.

1227
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:53,000
Speaker 1: Totally, even with work stuff. I mean, it doesn't just

1228
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:56,840
Speaker 1: have to be the material things, like you said, like

1229
01:03:56,880 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 1: your dreams, and it's okay to be able to let

1230
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 1: go but work so hard to like the opposites are okay,

1231
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 1: contradicting yourself a little bit in those ways. You know.

1232
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 1: It's like in relationships, you can love a person, miss

1233
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 1: a person so much, but still have the wisdom to

1234
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 1: note they're not your person and you're better off not together.

1235
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 1: That like opposite connection with everything. I think is really

1236
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: important to have that awareness and everything in life, relationships,

1237
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 1: material things, all of that.

1238
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 3: Yeah. I officiated a wedding a few years ago and

1239
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:42,439
Speaker 3: someone came up to me from the audience and said

1240
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 3: to me, jay, I realized from what you were saying

1241
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,760
Speaker 3: that they'd just gone through a breakup recently, and they

1242
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 3: were saying, jay, I realized that I loved that person,

1243
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:55,000
Speaker 3: but we didn't like each other anymore. And it was

1244
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 3: that essence of like, there'll always be that deep love

1245
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 3: for each other, yeah, but we just don't.

1246
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:05,480
Speaker 1: Like family, you know, Like you love people, but it's

1247
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:10,280
Speaker 1: okay to feel a protection of a person but then

1248
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 1: also protecting yourself and realizing when you have to and

1249
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 1: when it's time, and it's okay to feel all of

1250
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 1: the opposite emotions, you know, I think as long as

1251
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:25,360
Speaker 1: you're really well aware and go through the motions and

1252
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 1: feel things and don't hold things in, it's so important,

1253
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 1: whether it's you know, breakups, deaths. I've always been really

1254
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:38,600
Speaker 1: clear headed and like, gone through the feelings, gone through

1255
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 1: the emotions, more in those relationships, more in those lifelong

1256
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:51,080
Speaker 1: relationships that you hope for, and then also be okay

1257
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 1: and calm and realizing I've always been someone like, Okay,

1258
01:05:55,760 --> 01:05:59,440
Speaker 1: my dad died, why is this happening? What was his

1259
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:02,680
Speaker 1: purpose here? And how are we going to grow and

1260
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:06,600
Speaker 1: learn from this experience? And I always said that, like

1261
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,360
Speaker 1: right when he passed, and I was felt it and

1262
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:13,560
Speaker 1: super emotional about it, and you know, cry all the

1263
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,920
Speaker 1: time when great things happen that I wish he was here.

1264
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,680
Speaker 1: But also I had a wisdom at like a younger

1265
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,000
Speaker 1: age to understand that this is like a part of

1266
01:06:22,040 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 1: our journey and a part of our evolution, and this happens,

1267
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 1: and this is why you have to hold on to

1268
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 1: relationships even more precious, but don't let things destroy you.

1269
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 1: At the same time, if that makes it.

1270
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does make sense. I can tell just from

1271
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 3: your energy, like I just want everyone to know who's

1272
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:45,000
Speaker 3: listening and watching. Often people can say something, but the

1273
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 3: time I've spent with you, even today, I can tell

1274
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 3: from the energy that you are content and you are

1275
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:53,320
Speaker 3: so pya and you are I can feel that just

1276
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 3: just peace, like that's what I'm with you. I sense peace,

1277
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 3: and I think doing an interview with someone just it's

1278
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,920
Speaker 3: different environment that I remember when I interviewed Kobe Bryant

1279
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 3: and I almost felt like time stood still and his

1280
01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 3: word that I saw with his energy was gravity. I

1281
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 3: I just felt like everything was just. And then when

1282
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 3: I'm sitting with you, I'm feeling peace. And a lot

1283
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 3: of the time people try to find people when they're

1284
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 3: not at peace, hoping that someone else will put their

1285
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 3: pieces back together. You are at peace. Do you ever

1286
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 3: feel like you want to be in love again? Do

1287
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 3: you long for that? Or are you so at peace

1288
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 3: that that isn't a consideration.

1289
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:36,480
Speaker 1: I think I'll always be a hopeless romantic and always

1290
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:42,320
Speaker 1: want to be in love and definitely love sharing my

1291
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 1: life with someone and love creating a life with someone.

1292
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:49,680
Speaker 1: I definitely will take my time and I think there's

1293
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:53,320
Speaker 1: so many factors, especially when you have kids and being

1294
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 1: mindful of people that enter in your life. And if

1295
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,400
Speaker 1: I can look at everything that I did wrong and

1296
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 1: try to not make the same mistakes and really take

1297
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:07,360
Speaker 1: my time, I think it just has to be different

1298
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:07,720
Speaker 1: for me.

1299
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:08,800
Speaker 3: You know.

1300
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 1: It's obviously such a hard place to be in because

1301
01:08:14,440 --> 01:08:16,280
Speaker 1: how do you go aback? Who do you? You know? It's like,

1302
01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:20,360
Speaker 1: so there's so many factors. But I'll always believe in

1303
01:08:20,400 --> 01:08:23,400
Speaker 1: love and I'll always want that, and I think that's

1304
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:29,240
Speaker 1: such a magical part of life. But I think I'm

1305
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:35,240
Speaker 1: so comfortable taking my time to not rush it. There's

1306
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:38,680
Speaker 1: so much going on that I'm not lonely, and I

1307
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 1: think that that is really important. And I believe, like

1308
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:48,920
Speaker 1: I always believe, you know, and I think that whatever

1309
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 1: is meant to be will be.

1310
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,760
Speaker 3: fIF and final question of the whole interview. If you

1311
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,519
Speaker 3: could create one law that everyone in the world had

1312
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:59,719
Speaker 3: to follow, what would it be? Take your time?

1313
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 1: That's a good one, just second chances and fairness. I

1314
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:10,160
Speaker 1: think it could be something as simple as just whether

1315
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:16,000
Speaker 1: it's in our system or judgment in life, just making

1316
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 1: sure that everyone had like a basic human right to

1317
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:24,679
Speaker 1: what's fair. I think we'd change a lot in the system,

1318
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:29,760
Speaker 1: we'ld change a lot in life and a law for

1319
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:34,040
Speaker 1: everyone to be kind. It's that simple, you think about, like,

1320
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 1: all I want to do is raise kind, thoughtful, grateful,

1321
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,080
Speaker 1: mindful human beings.

1322
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,120
Speaker 3: Kim, thank you for being so open, so honest, so

1323
01:09:45,439 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 3: generous with your time. Everyone has been listening and watching.

1324
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 3: I hope you tag us birth on Instagram, on TikTok,

1325
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,000
Speaker 3: wherever you share your insights that you gained. I'd love

1326
01:09:53,040 --> 01:09:56,280
Speaker 3: to see what you took away from this podcast. I'd

1327
01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:58,760
Speaker 3: love to share that with both of us. Thank you

1328
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,120
Speaker 3: for listening to on Purpose. See you again next week.

1329
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,639
Speaker 3: And Kim, thank you so much again for this energy

1330
01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:07,120
Speaker 3: of yours today and being so present with us. Thank you.

1331
01:10:07,439 --> 01:10:11,320
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode

1332
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:15,479
Speaker 2: with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how

1333
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:17,960
Speaker 2: to speak to yourself with more compassion.

1334
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:22,120
Speaker 1: My fears are only going to continue to show me

1335
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:25,439
Speaker 1: what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,

1336
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 1: the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,

1337
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:30,960
Speaker 1: and I just want to keep doing that.