2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,560
Speaker 1: a mix of emotions. For many people, the holiday season

3
00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,320
Speaker 1: can be a time of connection and celebration, but it

4
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,960
Speaker 1: can also quietly amplify grief memories and the absence of

5
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:16,400
Speaker 1: someone we deeply love. When celebration is everywhere and absence

6
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,239
Speaker 1: seems louder, lost can feel more present. Grief is something

7
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,800
Speaker 1: every single one of us will face, yet most of

8
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,160
Speaker 1: us are never taught how to live it, especially during

9
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:31,080
Speaker 1: moments when closeness, tradition, and joy are emphasized. Research shows

10
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,040
Speaker 1: that nearly one in three adults struggle with prolonged grief

11
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,160
Speaker 1: after the loss of a loved one, and during the holidays,

12
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,280
Speaker 1: that weight can feel even heavier. What's often misunderstood is

13
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,440
Speaker 1: that grief isn't about getting over someone, It's about learning

14
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,960
Speaker 1: how to carry that love forward in a new way.

15
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,200
Speaker 1: In this video, you'll hear stories of loss and resilience

16
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,360
Speaker 1: from guests I'm truly grateful to have spoken with on

17
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:58,000
Speaker 1: on purpose. Their experiences remind us that grief can feel isolating,

18
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,320
Speaker 1: but hearing how others live it can help us feel

19
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,200
Speaker 1: understood and less alone. During this season.

20
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,440
Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast Jay Said Jay Sheidy.

21
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,920
Speaker 1: When Kate Cassidy lost her boyfriend Liam Payne in a

22
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 1: tragic accident, her entire world changed overnight. She shares that

23
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,399
Speaker 1: in the beginning, everything felt numb, like she was floating

24
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,520
Speaker 1: outside of herself, and what surprised her was that the

25
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,840
Speaker 1: healing didn't come from big moments, but from the small,

26
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:35,160
Speaker 1: everyday rituals, listening to songs they loved, talking about him

27
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,240
Speaker 1: with friends, even noticing little signs that reminded her of Liam.

28
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,920
Speaker 1: Psychologists say that grief often comes in waves, sometimes gentle,

29
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,760
Speaker 1: sometimes overwhelming, but over time, each wave teaches us how

30
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 1: to carry the weight a little differently. Let's have a listen.

31
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,760
Speaker 1: I think so many people listening or watching whether they've

32
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,120
Speaker 1: lost someone close to them more. I think people struggle

33
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,120
Speaker 1: to know what to say, People struggle to know what

34
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,920
Speaker 1: to do themselves when they've lost someone. What worked for you?

35
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,880
Speaker 3: I think at the end of the day, you need

36
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,079
Speaker 3: to listen and trust your heart, because grief comes in

37
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,320
Speaker 3: so many waves, so many different emotions. You're gonna wake up,

38
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 3: you're gonna feel numb. You're gonna wake up, you're going

39
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,639
Speaker 3: to feel sad, You're going to feel angry, you're going

40
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,160
Speaker 3: to feel one day, you're going to wake up and

41
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,760
Speaker 3: you're gonna laugh, and you're going to just think of

42
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 3: good moments you had, and then you're going to find

43
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,720
Speaker 3: yourself just this laugh turning into this hysterical cry. And

44
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,000
Speaker 3: I think that grief is something that you never know

45
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 3: what to expect, and it hits everybody so differently. So

46
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,120
Speaker 3: I think the best, you know, some advice that I

47
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 3: would give, just some general advice, would be to always

48
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,160
Speaker 3: trust your gut. Some things for me might not work

49
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:48,640
Speaker 3: for other people. I think keeping a consistent, of course,

50
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,680
Speaker 3: schedule routine. And I'm not saying waking up in the

51
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,359
Speaker 3: morning from nine am, having a strategic plan throughout the day,

52
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,079
Speaker 3: and then not getting home until eight pm, of course not.

53
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 3: Your mind needs time to rest, think and heal. But

54
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,760
Speaker 3: even just if you take one activity per day, it

55
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,720
Speaker 3: could just be walking, baking, going to the gym, going

56
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,880
Speaker 3: to applies class, just any type of small thing, it

57
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,079
Speaker 3: just helps so.

58
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,080
Speaker 4: Much with your head's face.

59
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 3: But I think for me, one thing that really has

60
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,920
Speaker 3: helped me so much and that makes me feel so

61
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,240
Speaker 3: full of light and love is seeing signs.

62
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,120
Speaker 4: And I see.

63
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,880
Speaker 3: So many signs of Lim and I'm such a believer

64
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:37,120
Speaker 3: in signs. I believe in manifesting, and I know that

65
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,400
Speaker 3: he's with me and I feel him all the time.

66
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,600
Speaker 3: And I remember at first when he passed away, I

67
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,800
Speaker 3: didn't feel him for i'd say the first five days.

68
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,640
Speaker 3: And I know that's not a long amount of time,

69
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:53,120
Speaker 3: but obviously five days when you're not with somebody after

70
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,160
Speaker 3: being with them twenty four to seven, it feels like,

71
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,680
Speaker 3: you know, five years. So I remember getting kind of

72
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,840
Speaker 3: angry and just being like talking to Liam, just saying,

73
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,800
Speaker 3: why haven't you shown me any signs? And I remember

74
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,560
Speaker 3: one day, it was before I flew out to England,

75
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,040
Speaker 3: so I was still in our house in Florida. I

76
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,400
Speaker 3: sat on the floor of his closet and I started

77
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,679
Speaker 3: crying hysterically, and I was so angry with him. I said,

78
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,039
Speaker 3: show me a sign. This is so unfair, like are

79
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,600
Speaker 3: you here with me? Show me a sign? And this

80
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,800
Speaker 3: is a stage of grief. That also, I want people

81
00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,799
Speaker 3: to know it's okay to be angry, and it's okay

82
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,760
Speaker 3: to cry, and it's okay to say things.

83
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:29,279
Speaker 2: It's okay.

84
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,400
Speaker 3: And I was crying and I was just saying, I'm

85
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,040
Speaker 3: so disappointed I love you so much, but I need

86
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,159
Speaker 3: you to show me a sign because I don't feel you.

87
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:40,000
Speaker 3: And I remember I went back downstairs, and it's just

88
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,160
Speaker 3: it was such a simple thing. But my friends asked me,

89
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,119
Speaker 3: do you want anything from McDonald's. And at this point,

90
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,119
Speaker 3: it was so hard for me to even hold down food.

91
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,279
Speaker 3: I was barely eating. And for me, me and Liam,

92
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,760
Speaker 3: we loved McDonald's. It was something that we would probably

93
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,680
Speaker 3: get like twice a week, which I know is not

94
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,560
Speaker 3: the healthiest option. It was just a part of like

95
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,200
Speaker 3: just kind of our childlike things to do, and we

96
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,280
Speaker 3: would always get the Happy Meal toy. We always would

97
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,960
Speaker 3: get the Happy Meal toy. It was always also Liam's

98
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,120
Speaker 3: idea to do that. He was such a kid at

99
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,080
Speaker 3: heart and he would always get.

100
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:11,720
Speaker 4: The Happy Meals toy.

101
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,400
Speaker 3: And I said to my friends, you know what, get

102
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,640
Speaker 3: me a kid's mealk. I'm not even hungry. I really

103
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 3: don't want to eat, but I'll try to. I'll try

104
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,360
Speaker 3: to eat something, but I just want to see what

105
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,200
Speaker 3: the happy Meal toy is. I really just want to

106
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,200
Speaker 3: see what it is. So they came back, they brought

107
00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:29,400
Speaker 3: me the Happy Meal and it came in this like

108
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 3: because it was around Halloween. It came in this trick

109
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:36,360
Speaker 3: or treat bin instead of the cardboard McDonald's like happy mailbox.

110
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,279
Speaker 4: And I remember when they gave it to me.

111
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 3: I was I was annoyed because I was like, this

112
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,880
Speaker 3: is the happy Meal toy. I thought I was going

113
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 3: to get like a little cute thing that maybe would

114
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,160
Speaker 3: have been a symbol of Liam, or something that Liam

115
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,520
Speaker 3: would have liked, or something like cute that could just

116
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,200
Speaker 3: make me feel.

117
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:50,599
Speaker 4: A little lifted.

118
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 3: I was just my head was everywhere, just even thinking

119
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,599
Speaker 3: that I could get any sort of positivity and light

120
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,520
Speaker 3: from a happy Meal kid's meal toy. That was just

121
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,599
Speaker 3: where my head was. And I was so angry. I

122
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,719
Speaker 3: didn't get any type of toy. I just got a

123
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,480
Speaker 3: trigg or treatment that obviously I'm not quiting trick or treating.

124
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,520
Speaker 3: So then I opened the lid to try to eat

125
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,600
Speaker 3: some of the food, and I noticed there's this maze

126
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,280
Speaker 3: on the back of the lid, and it was kind

127
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,840
Speaker 3: of one of those mazes where it's like count how

128
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,120
Speaker 3: many black cats count, how many ghosts count? How many

129
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,839
Speaker 3: pumpkins you can find? And I, obviously I didn't try

130
00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,400
Speaker 3: to even do the maze. Why would I and on

131
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,000
Speaker 3: the back of it it said the answers in small

132
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,080
Speaker 3: little letters, so you can, I guess, match it up

133
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,359
Speaker 3: to see if you won the puzzle. And our angel

134
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,680
Speaker 3: numbers have always been for any sequence of four, and

135
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,760
Speaker 3: the answers on the back of it were four four four,

136
00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:46,039
Speaker 3: And that was immediately the first sign I got from Liam.

137
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:50,400
Speaker 3: And the number four symbolizes guidance and support from your angels.

138
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,560
Speaker 3: And this has been such a big part of our relationship.

139
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,159
Speaker 3: I mean, he had the number four initialed on his finger.

140
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,080
Speaker 3: I ended up getting it after he passed away, and

141
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,200
Speaker 3: I think that for such a big part of our

142
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,120
Speaker 3: every single letter he's written me, he has ended it

143
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,240
Speaker 3: with your four four four.

144
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,520
Speaker 4: It's just it was always our thing.

145
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,240
Speaker 3: So the fact that I got these this happy meal

146
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,560
Speaker 3: toy and the answer said four for four, that was

147
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 3: Liam listening to me, and he was giving me a

148
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,000
Speaker 3: sign saying I know I am here, I am here,

149
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,560
Speaker 3: You're not alone like I am here, and it made

150
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,120
Speaker 3: me feel so just my I just lit up. I remember,

151
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,760
Speaker 3: and I still kept the little map I have folded

152
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,080
Speaker 3: up and it's in my bedside drawer.

153
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,600
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you've seen so many other signs

154
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,400
Speaker 1: off to that as well.

155
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have, and I see so many signs. And

156
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,040
Speaker 3: I came to La obviously to be here. I came

157
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,119
Speaker 3: to LA and I've never been to La without Liam before.

158
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,960
Speaker 3: I've only been with Liam. We've went a handful of

159
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,320
Speaker 3: times together, and we've created so many memories here. And

160
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,720
Speaker 3: when I landed in La, I felt like part of

161
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,480
Speaker 3: me was missing. I just even getting on the plane,

162
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,560
Speaker 3: just sitting alone, you know, not next to Liam, just

163
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,680
Speaker 3: felt so wrong. And I was just still, you know,

164
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,840
Speaker 3: everything that I do, I've I'm missing Liam.

165
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,320
Speaker 4: I'm thinking of Liam. But being in this.

166
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,880
Speaker 3: City that I love and I have this connection with La,

167
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,560
Speaker 3: I love it so much. Without the person that I

168
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,640
Speaker 3: love who brought me here and showed me around La

169
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,800
Speaker 3: and introduced me to this wonderful city, it just felt

170
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 3: so empty. And I think on my second or third

171
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,040
Speaker 3: night here, I mean, my friend went to a basketball

172
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,920
Speaker 3: game and we were.

173
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 4: On our way to the basketball game.

174
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 3: We were in an uber and everywhere we were just

175
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 3: seeing fours everywhere on license plates, we were seeing it

176
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,079
Speaker 3: on billboards, phone numbers, like on billboard everywhere, just the

177
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,679
Speaker 3: number four. And then we get into the basketball game,

178
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:41,000
Speaker 3: we go into a suite, and every suite it's like,

179
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,720
Speaker 3: I'm assuming, decorated differently that's normally how it is. It

180
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,440
Speaker 3: has like a different type of interior design, especially at

181
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,640
Speaker 3: this arena. And we walk in and the wallpaper is

182
00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:54,560
Speaker 3: the exact same wallpaper as me and Liam's bathroom wallpaper

183
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,160
Speaker 3: in England, and it's so unique. I've never seen a

184
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:02,040
Speaker 3: wallpaper like this before. It's lionheads with this floral design.

185
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,440
Speaker 3: It's something that's not just a color or not this

186
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,840
Speaker 3: sort of design that you would see shopping for a

187
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,760
Speaker 3: painting at TJ Max. It's just this design that I've

188
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 3: never seen before. Moving into this house in London with Liam,

189
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,480
Speaker 3: and the fact that that was in the suite, I

190
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,280
Speaker 3: immediately that's the first thing. I walked into the suite

191
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,360
Speaker 3: and I just stopped. I turned to my friend and

192
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,160
Speaker 3: I said, this is the same wallpaper that me and

193
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,480
Speaker 3: Liam had in our bathroom in London.

194
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,280
Speaker 4: And then we leave the basketball game.

195
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,080
Speaker 3: At this point, it's kind of late and we just

196
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,800
Speaker 3: want to get some food in us, so we go

197
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,079
Speaker 3: to this quick little restaurant for a bite to eat.

198
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,800
Speaker 3: We were the only ones in the restaurant because I

199
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,839
Speaker 3: think their kitchen was about to close within five minutes.

200
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,320
Speaker 3: We walk into the restaurant and the song that's playing

201
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,560
Speaker 3: as we're walking in is night changes by one direction.

202
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,360
Speaker 3: And the first place my eyes go to is the

203
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:53,600
Speaker 3: TV screen behind the boots, and it was Liam on

204
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,679
Speaker 3: the screen. They were playing the music video and it

205
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,680
Speaker 3: was just three signed, three big signs in a row

206
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,560
Speaker 3: being here in la And I just knew Liam was

207
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,240
Speaker 3: with me that night, and Liam was there at that

208
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,680
Speaker 3: basketball game with us. Liam was there that night eating

209
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,200
Speaker 3: tacos with us. He was there with us, and seeing

210
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 3: those signs make me feel so much more connected and

211
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,080
Speaker 3: close to him, and that I know he's here and

212
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,880
Speaker 3: he's listening to me, and he's far but he's not

213
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:18,320
Speaker 3: too far.

214
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had the pleasure of interviewing Laurea Lyn Jackson,

215
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,680
Speaker 1: who wrote the book Signs. Yeah, and I loved that book.

216
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,680
Speaker 1: For anyone who loves learning about signs, loves knowing about signs,

217
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,800
Speaker 1: that that book is speaking so closely to. I don't

218
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,680
Speaker 1: know if you've ever seen it or ever met Laurea Lynn,

219
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,959
Speaker 1: but she speaks so beautifully about how all of us

220
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,959
Speaker 1: have different whether it's numbers, whether it's emblem symbols, things

221
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 1: that we can see anywhere that points to us that

222
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,000
Speaker 1: we're moving in the right direction. And yeah, me and

223
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,800
Speaker 1: my team have had some pretty crazy experiences when we

224
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 1: were preparing for that interview and met her and everything

225
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,280
Speaker 1: else as well, and so thank you for sharing those

226
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,520
Speaker 1: because it's amazing to see how Liam's so alive in

227
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:05,640
Speaker 1: your life and so present in your life. And I

228
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 1: can imagine that's hard too. I'm curious to know what's

229
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,920
Speaker 1: been the hardest part of the last few months for you,

230
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,600
Speaker 1: because as much as it's wonderful to see Liam being

231
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,920
Speaker 1: present in all these places, I'm sure it's hard as well.

232
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,920
Speaker 3: I think the hardest thing that this has of course

233
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,800
Speaker 3: brought me is this loneliness feeling. And you go from

234
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,880
Speaker 3: being with somebody twenty four to seven to knowing and

235
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,760
Speaker 3: facing the reality that you're never going to see this

236
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,880
Speaker 3: person again in this life, and that for me is

237
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,960
Speaker 3: something that I still just cannot fully process in my mind,

238
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,920
Speaker 3: and I think that is always in the back of

239
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,400
Speaker 3: my mind. I think going places to everything reminds me

240
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 3: of Liam. I could be having a specific coffee flavor

241
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,840
Speaker 3: from Starbucks and I'm just thinking, oh, Liam, love this

242
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,319
Speaker 3: coffee I bring. You know, I bring up Liam in

243
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:55,320
Speaker 3: almost every conversation I have because everything reminds me of him,

244
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,760
Speaker 3: and at the end of the day, I'm thinking about

245
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,559
Speaker 3: him every second of every single day. I could be

246
00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:03,400
Speaker 3: having full, full ball in conversation with somebody about something

247
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:09,079
Speaker 3: completely off topic, something just completely not involving me, involving Liam,

248
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,800
Speaker 3: and always in the back of my head, I'm just

249
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,720
Speaker 3: thinking Liam, Liam, Liam. And then even some of the

250
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,559
Speaker 3: things that I don't connect with with Liam, things that

251
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,080
Speaker 3: we haven't done, memories that we haven't made yet, or

252
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,520
Speaker 3: moments that we haven't shared together, remind me of him

253
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,160
Speaker 3: because I'll think to myself, Liam would have loved this,

254
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,720
Speaker 3: or I wish Liam was able to experience this, or

255
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,000
Speaker 3: I wish we were able to try this together. So

256
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,360
Speaker 3: everything reminds me of him in one way or another.

257
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,680
Speaker 1: You know, I think we often think of grief as

258
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:38,760
Speaker 1: a almost as if we're waiting to wake up one

259
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 1: day and we don't feel what we felt anymore. And

260
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,079
Speaker 1: that's for anyone who's tried to grieve knows that's not true,

261
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:51,000
Speaker 1: and it doesn't happen like that. Kate's story teaches us

262
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,199
Speaker 1: a key lesson that grief isn't linear. There isn't a

263
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,680
Speaker 1: straight line from heartbreak to healing. Instead, it's a process

264
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,400
Speaker 1: of learning to coexist with absence and realizing that the

265
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:05,679
Speaker 1: love you shared doesn't vanish with loss, It changes form

266
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 1: and it stays with you. Our next guest, Nicole Evan,

267
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,600
Speaker 1: discusses the tragic loss of her mother after she was

268
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,160
Speaker 1: fatally shot in her own home. Nicole was faced with

269
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,280
Speaker 1: a choice. She could let anger and bitterness consumer, or

270
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,640
Speaker 1: she could lean into faith, forgiveness and gratitude for their

271
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,200
Speaker 1: life her mother lived. Research shows that people who approach

272
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,800
Speaker 1: grief with forgiveness and gratitude often report greater emotional resilience

273
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:54,400
Speaker 1: and improve mental health over time. But forgiveness doesn't mean

274
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,000
Speaker 1: excusing what happened or ignoring it. For Nicole, it was

275
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 1: about choosing not to let pain define her life. I'm

276
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:03,760
Speaker 1: reading from your book if you don't mind, if that's okay,

277
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,240
Speaker 1: So this is page fifty three for those who are

278
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,880
Speaker 1: reading along with us and think you'll be happy, and

279
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,120
Speaker 1: you say a few days after my mother died, Pharrell

280
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,880
Speaker 1: Williams called, He's like a brother to me, his family,

281
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 1: and he says, we're going to celebrate your mom. He said,

282
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,480
Speaker 1: we're going to celebrate her legacy. She's a big deal

283
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,520
Speaker 1: and we're not going to let anyone forget her. She

284
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:31,040
Speaker 1: created a life worth talking about. Do you realize that

285
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,800
Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of babies were born around the world

286
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,080
Speaker 1: the day she passed over? There are one hundred and

287
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,320
Speaker 1: forty million a year all around the world. Life is

288
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:44,480
Speaker 1: always continuing, Nicole, and you must continue her life by

289
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,560
Speaker 1: living yours to the fullest. And he concluded, God is

290
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,920
Speaker 1: still the greatest. And you said that for Ur says

291
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,280
Speaker 1: this all the time, through good or bad times, and

292
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,520
Speaker 1: He's right. God is still the greatest. What I find

293
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,080
Speaker 1: really unique about your journey, Nicole, as well, is that

294
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,080
Speaker 1: you are able to you keep and strengthen your faith

295
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,840
Speaker 1: in your own spirituality, in the way you practice it

296
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:10,400
Speaker 1: at a time when it's very natural. And I would

297
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,200
Speaker 1: never judge anyone if it would actually veer them a way,

298
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 1: right and just say no, no, exactly, Yeah, what do

299
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 1: you mean? Yeah? What do you mean?

300
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,200
Speaker 5: I've been so good and I've had so much faith

301
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 5: and how can this happen? You know? And as I

302
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,000
Speaker 5: say in the book, it's like why not us? It

303
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,760
Speaker 5: tragedies and trials and everything it happens to. You know,

304
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,920
Speaker 5: as it says in scripture, it rains on the just

305
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,840
Speaker 5: and it rains on the unjust. It's everyone kind of

306
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 5: gets hammered. But it goes to the power of choice.

307
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 5: For me, and the reason that I grew stronger in

308
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,920
Speaker 5: my faith as opposed to leaving it is because I

309
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,280
Speaker 5: really do believe that the universe has kind of laid

310
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:47,920
Speaker 5: it all out.

311
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,840
Speaker 6: Life has laid it out various.

312
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 5: Scripture, you know your Buddhist script everything is laid it out,

313
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 5: which says here it is, you're on this earth, and

314
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 5: it kind of here, here's how you play this game.

315
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,840
Speaker 5: But these things were not going to lie. These things

316
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 5: will show up. But the power of free will, which

317
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,880
Speaker 5: my mom always reminded me about of, is that you know, listen,

318
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 5: we as human beings, do have free will. We have

319
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 5: the freedom to choose how we're going to live, choose

320
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 5: how we're going to think, as opposed to any other animal,

321
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,640
Speaker 5: you know, they don't have the power of imagination and choice.

322
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 2: We do.

323
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,680
Speaker 5: So to blame the creator for the choices that people

324
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,040
Speaker 5: make is not something that I wanted to subscribe to.

325
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,640
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm not even going there. People make

326
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,880
Speaker 5: choices all the time. I see it every day, we

327
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 5: all do. People who have had the worst childhoods make

328
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 5: great choices have great lives. I've seen people who I

329
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,480
Speaker 5: grew up with in a very affluent neighborhood make the

330
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,320
Speaker 5: worst choices and had nothing to do with their environment.

331
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,120
Speaker 6: It was their choice.

332
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 5: So I wanted to stay my faith. For me really

333
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 5: was believing in something that is so much bigger and

334
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 5: greater than me that you know swing. You know, the

335
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 5: stars come out at night. I'm not in control of that.

336
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 5: The earth is spinning, that's not my power. You know,

337
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 5: the birds wake up every morning, the sun is up,

338
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,120
Speaker 5: the sun goes down.

339
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,560
Speaker 6: That's a power that is.

340
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,640
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm a part of that and I'm connected to it,

341
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,720
Speaker 5: but I did I'm not the creator, and so I

342
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 5: just decided to lean in more with that power and

343
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:33,120
Speaker 5: just say, Okay, I accept this. I don't understand it.

344
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 5: I may never understand it, but I still do love life,

345
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,160
Speaker 5: and I still do believe in life and the goodness

346
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,639
Speaker 5: of people and the goodness of life. And I don't

347
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 5: want to get bitter. That was my mate.

348
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 1: Jay.

349
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 5: I was so afraid of becoming a bitter person, and

350
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 5: I could feel the root.

351
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 6: I could feel I could feel it.

352
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 5: Starting, and I was like, no, no, no, no, I

353
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 5: got to get rid of this I And that's where

354
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:04,880
Speaker 5: I just went into the forgiveness of not condoning the behavior,

355
00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 5: not saying oh, it's okay that this happened, and making

356
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,439
Speaker 5: an excuse forgiveness for me, was I am casting this

357
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:15,399
Speaker 5: burden or these burdens of anger and shame and doubt

358
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 5: and disappointment and frustration and fury. Because I was furious,

359
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 5: and I thought, but if I hold on to these feelings,

360
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 5: I'm going to sink myself. And I'm not giving anyone

361
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,199
Speaker 5: the power to take me out now.

362
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 6: I'm not doing that.

363
00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 5: So I'm going to stand in my faith. I'm going

364
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 5: to believe in what I believe in, and I'm going

365
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 5: to believe in life, and I am going to I

366
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 5: choose to believe that things will get better. I don't

367
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,400
Speaker 5: know when, and I don't know how. I didn't care,

368
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,520
Speaker 5: but I knew that they would and I believe. And

369
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 5: I'm a big believer in tomorrow. I love tomorrow. I do,

370
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 5: I really do.

371
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,239
Speaker 6: I'm always saying okay, because if I don't get it right.

372
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, there's always tomorrow, and it keeps me hopeful.

373
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 5: Tomorrow keeps me hopeful. I don't try to stay of

374
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 5: the present, but I do look forward.

375
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 2: You know.

376
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,400
Speaker 5: My mom always just to say you have to have

377
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 5: something to look forward to, because otherwise you if you

378
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 5: don't train your mind to And I'd say, well, I

379
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 5: have nothing coming up that I'm looking forward to.

380
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 6: And she used to say, make it up.

381
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 4: Make it up.

382
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 5: Pretend you have some partner, pretend you have some whatever

383
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 5: it is, that something that's going to make your heart smile,

384
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 5: because we can all fall into despair very quickly.

385
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 1: I love that that is brought a massive smile to

386
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,240
Speaker 1: my It's so beautiful. How how someone's energy and spoke

387
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 1: can be so big that it can, you know, truly

388
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 1: live on and and truly truly be fought and shared.

389
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:40,440
Speaker 1: It's Yeah, there's this beautiful line that you share from

390
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 1: your friend Penny who says, grief is the receipt from

391
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 1: the universe showing that you loved someone or something and

392
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 1: loved them very deeply.

393
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,360
Speaker 5: It's not the best. When she reminded me of that,

394
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 5: I said, okay.

395
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 6: Wait, say it again. I have to write this down

396
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 6: say it again. That is so good.

397
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 5: But she said, baby, that's what it is. It's a receipt.

398
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 5: And it could be a mother, a father, a sister,

399
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 5: a brother, a dog, cat, whatever, something that you love

400
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:09,880
Speaker 5: that is no longer there.

401
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 6: That has changed form.

402
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 5: Even if it's the most peaceful transition, the grief is

403
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 5: proof that you loved. You know, the grief is most

404
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 5: of the time, and there's a lot of grief also

405
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 5: where there's regrets and all that. I understand that and

406
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 5: I respect all forms of grief, but it is it's

407
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 5: a receipt.

408
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, a receipt that you loved, and you were loved

409
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: and I was loved, deeply, deeply. This one line in

410
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 1: the book, you really I just felt it was perspective

411
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 1: shifting in a way that oh, I just I just

412
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 1: feel like that statement, just like you know, you just

413
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 1: embodied and captured everything. And you said that even though

414
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 1: your mother's death was shocking, her life was beautiful. So

415
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: you imagine, even though the end was so terror, her

416
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 1: life was beautiful. And that's what you're celebrating. That's what

417
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 1: you're putting emphasis and focus and your light on. And

418
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: I find that's very difficult because when we lose someone,

419
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: it's so easy and natural again and normal, And that's

420
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 1: when it's normal for us to obsess over how we

421
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 1: lost someone and how we left them, which is the

422
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 1: shortest amount of time we actually experienced them most mostly,

423
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 1: but we have all of this time. But the brain

424
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,880
Speaker 1: and our memory and our mind is so good at

425
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: just fixating on the end.

426
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 5: The end, and not the life. Yeah was yeah, and

427
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 5: not the life. And I had to get to the end.

428
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 5: So I used to say, but, but, but, and then

429
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,640
Speaker 5: I realized, wait, I can have both. This is shocking

430
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 5: and terrible and hurtful, and I'm going to celebrate her

431
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 5: life and I'm going to think of the good times,

432
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 5: and I'm going to try and think of all the

433
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 5: great memories that will bring a smile to my face.

434
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 5: So it was no longer a butt and once I

435
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 5: changed but to and I didn't have to choose which one.

436
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 5: I was going to do both and move through life

437
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 5: with the shock and the trauma and the stress and

438
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 5: the beauty of her life, the beauty of how she lived,

439
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,439
Speaker 5: the energy of what she gave. So I was I

440
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 5: was moving with all energies. And it was only until

441
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 5: I shifted because I was definitely in that, but this happened.

442
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 5: So I don't know how I could ever smile again.

443
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 5: But this happened, and it was so tragic. And then

444
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 5: as soon as I said, this happened and it's tragic,

445
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 5: and I'm going to think positively, I'm going to think constructively.

446
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 6: You know, my dad always used to say.

447
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 5: To me, girl, keep your mind right, keep your mind right,

448
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 5: crucify your mind.

449
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 6: Every day. You got to keep your mind right.

450
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 5: And so that really helped me, you know, And that

451
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 5: my friend TD Jake's had called me and he said,

452
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 5: I understand you're angry. Of course, it's normal to be

453
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 5: angry and all the things you're feeling. But I have

454
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,199
Speaker 5: a question for you. Do you want your focus to

455
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 5: be on her last five minutes or are you going

456
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 5: to focus on the eighty one years that she lived?

457
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 5: And it's your choice, and you have to choose every

458
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 5: day which one are you going to focus on? You're

459
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 5: going to give him five minutes, the five minutes and

460
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 5: the trauma, or are you going to focus on the

461
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 5: eighty one years? And I remember it through all my

462
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 5: tears on eighty one.

463
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 6: Years, eighty one years, and.

464
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 5: It was but it was beautiful because he helped me

465
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 5: shift and I had to go to that every day.

466
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 5: It wasn't like he'd said it one day and then,

467
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 5: but every day and every time it was very challenging

468
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 5: for me, Jay, and every time I did want to quit.

469
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 5: And there were days where I didn't stop all the time.

470
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 5: But you know, sometimes you have to push pause in life.

471
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 5: And there were days where I would lay in the

472
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 5: bed and just lay there and be still and think

473
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 5: or not think, and just lay there and I but

474
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 5: I still decided to focus on her eighty one years

475
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 5: and to focus on what I loved about her, and

476
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 5: to focus on her contributions to life and society and

477
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 5: other people and how she made people feel so powerful.

478
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 1: That shift for me was, you know, I was like

479
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: that I can. That's something I'd like to remind myself

480
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: every day with the people that I've lost. Like that,

481
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: that really felt like a real gift, that gem of

482
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: advice and insight. Thank you. Nicole teaches us that grief

483
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: is the proof that you love deeply, and that forgiveness

484
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 1: isn't about denying what happened. It's about refusing to let

485
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: tragedy hard in your heart. It's about finding a way

486
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 1: to keep love at the center of your healing and

487
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: choosing to cherish the positive. When our next guest, Current

488
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: jaw Her, learned that his father was diagnosed with cancer,

489
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: he suddenly realized how much had been left unsaid between them.

490
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: They began having conversations about life, death, and love, connections

491
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 1: they had never dared to have before. So many people

492
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 1: who lose a li loved one report wishing for just

493
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,959
Speaker 1: one more conversation, one more beat, to tell them something

494
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: important before it's too late. And while we can't always

495
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: control when goodbyes come, current story is a reminder of

496
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: the healing that comes from honesty and why we shouldn't

497
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: wait to say what matters most.

498
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: Can your light stop? No, you have to move on.

499
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,679
Speaker 7: Nothing is worse than losing a loved one, but you

500
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 7: eventually have to come to terms of the fact that

501
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 7: it's happened. That's why there's a full stop, because the

502
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 7: next sentence has to begin, so its only can start

503
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 7: when that full stop is registered, and then you move on.

504
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 7: I look at life like that, whatever goes wrong is

505
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 7: going to go wrong. Nothing is going to be constantly happy,

506
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 7: nothing is going to be constantly sad. It's the way

507
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 7: you have to kind of just understand life. And maybe

508
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 7: because as a child I had such a rough batch,

509
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 7: I think I kind of armored myself for me to

510
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 7: feel the way I do today about anything.

511
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 1: Who have you lost? That that full stop was.

512
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 7: Hard to my father. He passed away much earlier than

513
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 7: I ever imagined. When he was in his early seventies

514
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 7: and very healthy, on his feet, active man, no vices.

515
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 7: He just one day had a fourth stage tumor in

516
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 7: his usophagus, which we found out much later when it

517
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 7: was in his fourth stage, and that went into full

518
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 7: blown cancer and he passed from the time of the

519
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 7: diagnosis to the point of him passing away with ten months.

520
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 7: I'm a realist. I'm not an optimist or a pessimist.

521
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 7: I'm a realist. So I went to the oncologist in

522
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 7: and we were surprisingly filming Kalhonah, which.

523
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 2: Is about a man dying, and it is about a

524
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: man dying.

525
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 7: We were in New York, and I went to my

526
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 7: ecologist and said, look, my father, you know, and like,

527
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 7: tell me, give me the hard fact. And he said, look,

528
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 7: it doesn't look good. And I was like, okay, now

529
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 7: I know this. That I know it doesn't look good,

530
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 7: and we'll do everything in our capacity medically to kind

531
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 7: of you know, But I said, I don't want to

532
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 7: see him in pain. Actually, oddly, the five days that

533
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 7: he had a tough time for the five days of

534
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 7: his chemotherapy, those were the tough days of the subsequent

535
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 7: days to the chemotherapy. But actually those ten other months,

536
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 7: besides those five days, it gave me so much time

537
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 7: that I could spend with him, that I had conversations

538
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 7: I never thought I would be, discussed my childhood. We

539
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 7: discussed his early years. We discussed his achievements, his failures,

540
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 7: his regrets, his joys. I have complete closure with my

541
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 7: relationship with my father because I have no unanswered questions

542
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,399
Speaker 7: because in those ten months I wasn't running around like

543
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 7: a headless chicken trying to keep him alive. I had

544
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 7: accepted that he may go, and in those months I

545
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 7: lived in the moment with him, and I was able

546
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 7: to have all those conversations that I would have loved

547
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 7: to have had with him earlier but I didn't. But

548
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 7: love those ten months gave me that. And I even

549
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 7: told my mom I was like, talk to him, speak

550
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 7: to him, but she was finding very tough to accept

551
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 7: the situation, so she couldn't and that's why she still

552
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 7: doesn't have closure. Twenty years have passed since he passed

553
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 7: away and she still has not been able to deal

554
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 7: with his passing away. And she's eighty two years old today,

555
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 7: Whereas I actually have complete closure because I had every

556
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 7: conversation I could have dreamt of having with a parent,

557
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 7: I did. And that's why I always tell people like,

558
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 7: communicate today because they may not be here tomorrow. Tell

559
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:27,160
Speaker 7: them today anything you have a problem, you have resentment issues,

560
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 7: you have parental trauma, You've got to speak today because

561
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 7: today communication is the result, is the aid is you're

562
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 7: looking for is the solution to every problem. And we

563
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 7: don't talk specifically. I think in our parenting structure in India,

564
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 7: we have respect and respect sometimes equals distance, you know,

565
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 7: and that respect should not give you distance in a relationship.

566
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 7: Respect should also be a close component of love. It

567
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 7: should actually give you the ability to communicate to your parent.

568
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 7: Just because you respect your father and mother doesn't mean

569
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 7: you answer what you want. Parents are not always correct.

570
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 7: It's not that they are saying the right thing to

571
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 7: you all the time. They are carrying the baggage of

572
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 7: their parents, and they put that baggage onto you and

573
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 7: you may not need it or you shouldn't have it,

574
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 7: and you have to kind of have an open line

575
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 7: of channel and you.

576
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: Can still be respectful.

577
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 7: Never not be respectful, because that's something that our tradition

578
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 7: teaches us, our culture teaches us.

579
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 2: But please, I always tell.

580
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 7: People keep an open channel of communication with your parent

581
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 7: because they may not always be correct, They may not

582
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 7: always be right, They may not be right. Advice or

583
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 7: value system may not be good for you, and you

584
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 7: have to sometimes question it.

585
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, was there a specific question you asked

586
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,719
Speaker 1: or a conversation you remember fondly from that time? As

587
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: you said, you had every conversation you asked every question,

588
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: Is there one that stands out?

589
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 7: I asked him whether he has any regrets, you know,

590
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 7: and he spoke to me widely about like his relationship

591
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 7: with his parents and his siblings. You know, what he

592
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 7: thought he did wrong as even career wise, and how

593
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 7: he thought he was taken for a ride, but he

594
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 7: didn't act on it at the right time. We lost

595
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 7: a lot of money because some of his indiscretions. And

596
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 7: you know, he spoke about that openly. He also spoke

597
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 7: about the fact that like sometimes he has things he

598
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 7: wants to tell my mom, but he doesn't say it

599
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 7: because he doesn't want to hurt or upset her, and

600
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 7: he says, I wish I had. Then he tells me,

601
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 7: he told me, like, you know, I wish I would

602
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 7: have spent more time with you. He would have been

603
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 7: I wish I didn't incorporated sport in your life. It

604
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,479
Speaker 7: would have given you a sense of much more like,

605
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 7: because I believe sport is not just for physical health,

606
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 7: it's also gives you It rains your mind very differently.

607
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 7: And he said I didn't spend enough active time with

608
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 7: you because I was so busy working. So he told

609
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 7: me a lot about his regrets and his thoughts at

610
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 7: that time, and I think it really helped him as well.

611
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 7: I think it kind of gave him so much closure.

612
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 7: And I think those conversations are very dear to me.

613
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 7: And then he wrote an eleven page letter to me,

614
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 7: which I didn't know existed, was given to met him

615
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 7: passing away, where he wrote also business or the accounts,

616
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 7: and it was a technical letter of everything about like

617
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 7: this is the account, these are the these are my

618
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 7: like the businesses that we've this, you don't.

619
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 2: Know money to anyone. It's all done.

620
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 7: This is where the bank account cetera, detailed mutual deposits

621
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 7: funds like whatever the investments were at that time. He

622
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 7: gave me like a handwritten, handwritten it was written by

623
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 7: him in hand and then he wrote people you can trust, people,

624
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 7: you can't trust. Things you should never do like he

625
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 7: just it became my bible and I'm literally I think

626
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 7: ninety percent of it is what I followed.

627
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 2: And he wrote me eleven page letter.

628
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: Had he ever written your letter before?

629
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 2: Never? He knew he was going. Yeah, So he wrote

630
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: me that and it wasn't an emotional letter.

631
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 7: It was a practical, thoughtful, business minded, future based letter.

632
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 2: It's all about me, how.

633
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 7: To manage the funds, what we have, what we don't have,

634
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 7: Who owes him money? And he said, but never ask

635
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 7: them till they come to you, because you know, it

636
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 7: was all given in good face. And he said, we

637
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 7: don't know anyone, and so if anyone comes and asks,

638
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 7: it's not true. And he gave me every single detail

639
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 7: that me, who was not business minded, had zero business

640
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 7: acumen needed. That eleventh pager that I followed as my

641
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 7: bible to kind of.

642
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 2: Fought forward at that time.

643
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: Wow, what a beautiful gift to leave someone's That's so powerful.

644
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: I've never heard that before. I've never heard someone leaving

645
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: their child a practical, thoughtful I mean, the idea of

646
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 1: who to trust and who not to trust.

647
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 7: He never wrote anything that I love you, I will

648
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 7: all lose that was said already. It was none of that.

649
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 7: It was not a hallmark letter, you know. It was

650
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 7: a business letter.

651
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable. Thank you for sharing that. Current's reflections remind

652
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: us that grief isn't just about mourning what we lose.

653
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: It's also about cherishing the moments we still have. The

654
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: best time to say what you feel is always now.

655
00:32:54,440 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: Don't wait until tomorrow to express what matters today. Grief

656
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: isn't only about who we lose, but also what we lose,

657
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: a pet, a pregnancy, a future. For Taylor here it

658
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: came in many forms, the heartbreak of miscarriage and the

659
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: loss of her beloved dog. Take These kinds of losses

660
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: are often minimized or dismissed, even though between ten and

661
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 1: twenty percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many women

662
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: report that their grief is not validated or supported by others.

663
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: Taylor speaks candidly about how isolating these losses can feel,

664
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: but also about the importance of allowing yourself to mourn

665
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,239
Speaker 1: them fully no matter what anyone else says. Let's take

666
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: a look. I was saying to you that I've had

667
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 1: multiple friends in the last two to three years who've

668
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: all experienced a miscarriage, and I talk to them and

669
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:15,839
Speaker 1: I'll hear from them, and I see so much just stress,

670
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: overwhelmed pressure, self degradation, like you know, just negative self

671
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: talk like there's it's it's one of the hardest things

672
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,919
Speaker 1: to go through. Even if everyone goes through as you saw,

673
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: not everyone, but so many people go through it, it

674
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 1: doesn't make it any easier. And often, actually, like you said,

675
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: it makes you so lonely that you don't want to

676
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: talk to anyone about it. Yeah, and it's it's not

677
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: comforting to know other people have gone through it. And

678
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 1: I wonder in that lonely phase, like what was it

679
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 1: that did help you? And even when your friend went

680
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: through it, what allowed you to be there for each

681
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,399
Speaker 1: other in a way that was comforting and helpful rather

682
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 1: than felt uncomfortable and unhealthy.

683
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 8: I need to alone. I need to like I needed

684
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 8: to feel it. I needed to sit in it. I

685
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 8: didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want

686
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,959
Speaker 8: people want to be there for you, and that's really

687
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,800
Speaker 8: special and that's really helpful, but I didn't want people

688
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 8: to be there.

689
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 2: For me yet.

690
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 8: I wasn't ready for people to be like, oh, I'm

691
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 8: so sorry, or you know, because people don't know what

692
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 8: to say sometimes when it comes to grief or loss.

693
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 8: Sometimes I don't know what to say either. I have

694
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 8: no idea on how to react to some things, still

695
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 8: having experienced my own version of grief. How do you

696
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 8: be there for somebody? It's a difficult thing. I mean,

697
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 8: I didn't know how I needed well, I didn't know

698
00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 8: what I needed from people. I didn't want to talk

699
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 8: about it. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want

700
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 8: anyone to know because I didn't want people to talk

701
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 8: to me about it or say things to me because

702
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 8: I just wasn't ready to hear it yet. And the

703
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 8: way that I think I told people that were really

704
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 8: really close to me. Really my husband obviously knew because

705
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 8: it happened to him too, and two best friends knew

706
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 8: and the way that I feel like they were there

707
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 8: for me because they didn't know what to say. They

708
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 8: didn't say anything. They were there for me physically. They

709
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,479
Speaker 8: held me, they let me cry. I just sat there

710
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:48,399
Speaker 8: and I cried and said nothing and they just held

711
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 8: my hand and were like just sat there with me

712
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 8: and like let me cry. They didn't ask me questions.

713
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,720
Speaker 8: They didn't ask me how I felt. They didn't ask

714
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 8: they didn't say anything to me, like, they didn't say

715
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 8: everything happens for a reason, don't worry like you'll feel

716
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 8: one day, da da da. They didn't go into that.

717
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 8: I think because they know me so well, they probably

718
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 8: knew that I didn't want to hear that. Yet they

719
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 8: just were there and they listened when I was ready

720
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 8: to talk, and then because I wasn't ready, they just

721
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 8: let me emote and they just let me cry and

722
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 8: they cried, and I could tell because I was hurt,

723
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 8: they were hurt. You know. When I finally got to

724
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 8: my husband and we were together, he just held me.

725
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 8: We both cried and he just held me, and you know,

726
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 8: I held him too, Because I think that's another thing,

727
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 8: is another layer on top of it is even though

728
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 8: it physically happened to me, and emotionally it was something

729
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 8: that I experienced. It was it was an individual experience

730
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 8: to myself. Emotionally, it's something that it's a loss. They

731
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 8: happened to him as well. He also thought potentially he

732
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 8: would be having a child. So we were both grieving something.

733
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,439
Speaker 8: We were both grieving the loss of this. We were

734
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 8: both feeling this weird sense of relief at the same

735
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 8: time and then immediately guilty because we felt relief, and

736
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 8: then immediately anger because we felt guilt. And you know

737
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 8: what I mean, It's just it's relentless, these emotions. When

738
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 8: it's fresh, you know that you feel literally every single

739
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 8: one that's on the rainbow. Of all the colors we felt,

740
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 8: we felt all of them. And I think when it

741
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 8: was the very beginning, I think for me it was

742
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 8: just holding the people holding me, you know, being in

743
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 8: just being in the space with me. They didn't have

744
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 8: to say anything if they didn't know what to say,

745
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 8: you know, And when we did sort of start talking

746
00:38:55,160 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 8: about it, we first started saying this, I can't believe

747
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 8: this is happening.

748
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 6: You know.

749
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 8: It was if I was feeling angry, then they would

750
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 8: be angry with me if I was that. If I

751
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 8: was sad, then they were sad with me. So it

752
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 8: was amazing. They were amazing at being there for me

753
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 8: in those ways. And you know, I think it is

754
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 8: difficult to know what to say and how to be

755
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 8: there for someone, but I think following them and how

756
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 8: they're reacting is also really good. Like taking the cue

757
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 8: from how they're responding is a good way to respond

758
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 8: back to someone. And you know, checking in. You know,

759
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 8: my friends that knew checked in with me, how are

760
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 8: you feeling today? You know, And then if I didn't

761
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 8: want to talk about they were like, okay, let me

762
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 8: know when you are ready, you know, so just you know,

763
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 8: they were checking in, you know, making sure. And then

764
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 8: you know, my best friend, she who she experienced us

765
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 8: as well, she continues to check in with me. You know,

766
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 8: this is three years later and we still talk about it.

767
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 8: Oh my gosh, Like, can you believe it? You would

768
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 8: have a three year old. I'm like, I know, And

769
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 8: it's just we we get to have these moments together

770
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 8: of we would both have a three year old right now.

771
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 8: That's and we think about that and we deal with that.

772
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 8: We grieve them, We grieve the loss of that potential

773
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 8: and that direction and life, you know, that thread that

774
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 8: didn't happen in this path. So female friendships are incredible

775
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,879
Speaker 8: and they're beautiful, and I think it's really important for

776
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 8: women to have women in their life that they can

777
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 8: they can go to and they can talk to you

778
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 8: about these things because we can relate to each other

779
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 8: in other ways that I think, you know, I couldn't

780
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 8: get from my husband, and being able to go to

781
00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 8: her was so special and really helpful. So I just

782
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 8: I think also have patience with yourself, and if you

783
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 8: know someone who's going through that, have patience with them

784
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 8: because it's a rollercoaster. And you know, she was my friend.

785
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 8: She was going through this too, and I was feeling

786
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 8: emotions and I was feeling heartbroken because I know because

787
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 8: she was heartbroken, so I was feeling emotions as well.

788
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 8: And I just have to be patient because it's happening

789
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 8: to her, so at her pace, at her time, when

790
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 8: she's ready, when she wants to hear, when she wants

791
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 8: to talk about it, we can and we both kind

792
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 8: of just we both shared that understanding with each other.

793
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the grief of losing a friend, because

794
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,720
Speaker 1: that's really what they say is a really dear friend,

795
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: walk me through those nine years and the amazing relationship

796
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 1: you built with Tate.

797
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 8: Yeah, Tate, Oh my angel. I got Tate when I

798
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 8: was eighteen, so it was really kind of in the

799
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 8: mix of all this my life changing.

800
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 1: You know.

801
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 8: I booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show not very long

802
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 8: after I I Tate came into my life and we

803
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,919
Speaker 8: went we walked through life together for nine years and

804
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 8: he was my best friend, and oh gosh, it's so

805
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 8: hard to put it into words because it's it's so

806
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 8: it's such a unique thing to have a deep relationship

807
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 8: with an animal, and it sounds I hope it don't

808
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 8: sound crazy, you know, I gonna sound a little crazy,

809
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 8: but like, I just feel like the love that you know,

810
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 8: dogs and animals in general have for humans is so unconditional,

811
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 8: you know, and they have no judgment. They don't want

812
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 8: anything from you but your love back, and it's so

813
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 8: pure and it's so innocent. It's almost childlike in a way,

814
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 8: you know, when I I can only imagine, you know,

815
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 8: when you hold a newborn baby for the first time,

816
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 8: that immediate connection that you feel to this thing that

817
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 8: I can't even talk yet and is just a part

818
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 8: of you. It's really special to have such a deep

819
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 8: connection to something that literally wants nothing from you except

820
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 8: for also the like unconditional love. So to have Tate

821
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 8: come into my life at that time was so special,

822
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 8: just because so much was changing. You know, I was

823
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 8: growing up. I was, you know, becoming a young woman

824
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 8: from a girl to a woman, and he was there

825
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 8: for that. And you know, I was traveling all the time,

826
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 8: and I was away from family, and I just had

827
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 8: this little, tiny, innocent soul with me that just always

828
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 8: looked at me like you're the best, and I love you.

829
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 8: And Tate taught me so much. I mean, he taught me,

830
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 8: you know, responsibility, caring for something other than myself, you know,

831
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 8: taking care of him, you know, pouring love into him

832
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 8: and making sure that he was good and you know,

833
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 8: even well behaved, and training him and doing all those

834
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 8: things is showing at him an act of love and

835
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 8: making sure that he's a confident, comfortable dog he could

836
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 8: be in any scenario. And he was the best boy.

837
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 8: And I think he also kind of knew that I

838
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 8: was just kind of out there winging.

839
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 1: It a bit.

840
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 8: He was like, oh God, this girl this girl has

841
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 8: no idea what she's doing. So I'm gonna have to

842
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,959
Speaker 8: be a good boy now. And he just I really

843
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 8: sometimes feel like he did teach himself how to just

844
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 8: be everywhere with me all the time. And I think

845
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 8: that he was meant for me, and he was meant

846
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 8: to be in my life, and I think that we

847
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 8: were sort of made for each other and we belonged

848
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 8: to each other. And you know, he was he was

849
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,399
Speaker 8: so it sounds crazy to say this about a dog,

850
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 8: but he was so emotional, Like his eyes were so human,

851
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 8: and he could look at me and I knew what

852
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 8: he was saying or what he was thinking, or I

853
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 8: felt that he could feel what I was thinking or

854
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 8: what I was feeling. And I definitely think that he

855
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 8: also taught me a lot about you know, emotion and

856
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 8: you know.

857
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 2: Being.

858
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 8: You know what's that saying? You know, be the person

859
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 8: your dog thinks you are. They think you're great. You know,

860
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 8: they're like, I love you no matter what. Yes, mom, Yes,

861
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,439
Speaker 8: So that's the energy they give you, right, It's like, oh,

862
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 8: you're the best, and it's just like, am I the best?

863
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 8: But to how something? You know, this little creature just

864
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 8: look at you and think you're the best. It kind

865
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 8: of makes you want to be the best, right, you know,

866
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 8: constantly trying to grow and be better and change. And

867
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 8: you know, nobody's perfect and no one will ever be perfect,

868
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 8: and we're always learning and we're always growing and we're

869
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 8: always changing. But having something to do that for and

870
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 8: having someone to do that with is is really is

871
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 8: It's different, you know, like it's more intentional, right, So

872
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 8: trying to be better because Tate thinks I'm the best

873
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 8: is a different motivation. So he definitely was there for

874
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 8: me through, you know, so much of my life and

875
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 8: so much of my life changing. I think from you know,

876
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 8: eighteen to twenty seven are pretty formative years, don't. I'm

877
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 8: not a doctor, but someone told me once that your

878
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 8: brain stops developing at twenty five or something. So you know,

879
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 8: he was there. Oh sorry, I hit the mic a

880
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 8: top with my hands. He was there.

881
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 4: He was there.

882
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 8: From when I had an undeveloped brain to a developed brain.

883
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 8: You know, he kind of just saw me through and

884
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 8: he was he was just the best. I mean, the

885
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 8: love of my life, I mean, my soulmate really, because

886
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 8: he just knew, you know, and I've never had a

887
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,919
Speaker 8: connection with any anyone like that that I've had with Tate.

888
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 8: So I'm just I'm really grateful that he was in

889
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 8: my life. He's the inspiration behind me even wanting to

890
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 8: start a pet company, just because I love him so much.

891
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 8: And I know other people have felt that before, people

892
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 8: who've had, you know, what I like to call a

893
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 8: soul dog, they know what I'm talking about, you know,

894
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 8: they know that feeling. And when I shared that I

895
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,320
Speaker 8: lost Tape, people who'd you know, been on my journey

896
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 8: with me and been maybe following me for a bit,

897
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 8: no the day I got him, and maybe saw saw

898
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 8: him on my Instagram all the time. I mean, he

899
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 8: was probably in every single picture on my Instagram for

900
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 8: nine years, so I feel like people felt like they

901
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 8: knew him. And when I said, when I, you know,

902
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 8: shared that he was sick, and then when I ultimately

903
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 8: shared that he had passed, the overwhelming amount of support

904
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 8: and you know, messages that I got and also shared

905
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,919
Speaker 8: experiences that I received from I lost my soul dog

906
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 8: ten years ago and I still think about them every

907
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 8: single day. It made me feel it made me feel

908
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 8: less alone and less maybe kind of strange for feeling

909
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 8: this way about a dog, because I you know, you

910
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 8: get both you get I got amazing, overwhelming comments that

911
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 8: were just overwhelmingly positive.

912
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 4: I mean, just.

913
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,399
Speaker 8: You know, I know what you've what you're going through.

914
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 8: I went through this, you know, just remember He's always

915
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 8: with you.

916
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: You know.

917
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 8: I got messages like that that touched me so deeply

918
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 8: and positively, and I just felt so grateful that I

919
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 8: got those messages. But then, of course you get the

920
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 8: flip side where people don't understand. They're like, oh, it's

921
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 8: a dog, what's the big deal? You know, Oh, it's

922
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 8: a dog.

923
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 4: Move on.

924
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 8: I'll never move on from Tate's death. My grief will change,

925
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 8: for sure. My perspective of his death will change, and

926
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,800
Speaker 8: it has even since I lost him. You know, I

927
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 8: it's it's devastating and it's heartbreaking. And you know, to

928
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 8: anyone who's felt that, I know that feels like and

929
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 8: don't let anybody rush you. You know, some people don't

930
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 8: understand it's just because this is a dog and you know,

931
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 8: not a person. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve

932
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 8: the same amount of time and space and energy you

933
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:22,280
Speaker 8: would give to grieving anything else. So I would just say,

934
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 8: you know, take your time and you're not alone, and

935
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 8: it's not a fun thing to go through at all.

936
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:36,360
Speaker 8: So I think I'll always miss Tate, you know. I

937
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 8: don't see how I can't, you know. And I think

938
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 8: to say to get over something is such a harsh

939
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 8: way of saying it, because I'll probably never get over it.

940
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 8: I'll never really get over losing Tate. I can heal

941
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:55,439
Speaker 8: from it, and I can find, you know, peace with it,

942
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,399
Speaker 8: But those are two completely different things. Getting over it.

943
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 4: How do you get over that?

944
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: You know?

945
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 2: It does?

946
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 8: It's not something that it's not an object in my way,

947
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 8: it's he's a part of me and he's no longer here.

948
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 8: So yeah, I definitely think losing a pet is tough.

949
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 8: And you know, losing one that you have such a deep,

950
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 8: strong connection with that's been with you for so many

951
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 8: things with no expectation from you other than just they

952
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 8: want to be there with you is that's a tough

953
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 8: loss and a tough thing to work through.

954
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing that. What today shows us

955
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: is that grief doesn't end. It evolves, and during the

956
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,839
Speaker 1: holidays that evolution can become more visible. The people we

957
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 1: love continue to live on in the memories we return

958
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: to the traditions we carry forward, and the quiet ways

959
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: they still guide us. Kate showed us that healing often

960
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: happens in the smallest moments. Nicole reminded us that forgiveness

961
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 1: can be a form of freedom. Current shared why the

962
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 1: most important ways should never wait, and Taylor affirmed that

963
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: every kind of loss deserves to be honored, even when

964
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 1: the world expects us to be Okay. If this season

965
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: feels heavy for you, there's nothing wrong with you. Grief

966
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 1: is universal, and so is love, and it's love that

967
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 1: allows us to keep going, to keep remembering, and that

968
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: carries us forward even when they're no longer here. If

969
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with doctor

970
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 1: Julie Smith on unblocking negative emotions and how to embrace

971
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 1: difficult feelings.

972
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 4: You've just got to be motivated every day, and if

973
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 4: you're not, then what are you doing? And actually humans

974
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,160
Speaker 4: don't work that way motivation. You have to treat it

975
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 4: like any other emotion.

976
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 5: Some days it will be there, some days it won't.