2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:11,960
Speaker 1: feel certain, progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till you feel ready.

3
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:18,400
Speaker 1: Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting till they approve.

4
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:23,960
Speaker 1: Most people are too scared to even try. Stop waiting

5
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:28,520
Speaker 1: for it to be easy. What transforms you really is

6
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,880
Speaker 1: the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety, Jay

7
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:40,559
Speaker 1: Shetty Jet. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to

8
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:45,280
Speaker 1: On Purpose. If you haven't already, make sure you subscribe.

9
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,720
Speaker 1: It makes a huge difference to us and it makes

10
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,320
Speaker 1: sure you never miss an episode. If you want to

11
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 1: build a mindset that is prepared for the challenges that

12
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,600
Speaker 1: come up in the world we live in. If you

13
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,880
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you have habits to transform

14
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 1: your life, if you want to make sure that you

15
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,720
Speaker 1: have the inner world going in the same direction as

16
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,679
Speaker 1: your outer world, this is the place to be. Now.

17
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:18,480
Speaker 1: How many of you overthink, how many of you procrastinate,

18
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,120
Speaker 1: and how many of you keep going round and round

19
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 1: in circles with the same thoughts. If you said yes

20
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,880
Speaker 1: to any of those, this episode is for you. It's

21
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,720
Speaker 1: all about creating a clear mind and how to make

22
00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:40,040
Speaker 1: better decisions, how to choose smarter and how to live freer.

23
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,640
Speaker 1: I think all of us are struggling in our lives

24
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,200
Speaker 1: with overthinking. We're overwhelmed with the amount of information. We're

25
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:53,840
Speaker 1: overwhelmed with the amount of choice. We're inundated with insight data.

26
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,920
Speaker 1: We're being sold to. Our attention is being farmed right.

27
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,920
Speaker 1: People are literally trying to grab hold of our attention,

28
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,200
Speaker 1: whether we're on the street, on the phone, wherever we are,

29
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:10,760
Speaker 1: and so making better decisions has become harder. This episode

30
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,920
Speaker 1: is going to help you make decisions quicker, smarter, and

31
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:19,640
Speaker 1: better and help you waste less time procrastinating, overthinking, and

32
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,160
Speaker 1: wasting time on decisions that maybe don't make a difference.

33
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:30,040
Speaker 1: Let's dive in. Step one is catch the noise. You

34
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,239
Speaker 1: don't have a clarity problem, you have a clutter problem.

35
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:42,440
Speaker 1: Before we decide, we ruminate, we spiral, we crowdsource, we overthink.

36
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:49,200
Speaker 1: But Stanford research shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality

37
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:54,079
Speaker 1: by up to twenty five percent due to something known

38
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 1: as decision fatigue. Now, what is decision fatigue? You might

39
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,640
Speaker 1: be wondering. Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain

40
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:07,880
Speaker 1: resulting from making too many decisions, especially in a row.

41
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,640
Speaker 1: The more choices you make, the worse your decision making becomes.

42
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,239
Speaker 1: This is because every decision, big or small, draws from

43
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,640
Speaker 1: a limited pool of mental energy. This is a concept

44
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:26,400
Speaker 1: backed by ego depletion theory. Once that pool is drained,

45
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:31,880
Speaker 1: your brain defaults to either avoidance doing nothing. I'm sure

46
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 1: you can relate, or impulse choosing the easiest or most

47
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,840
Speaker 1: familiar option. Now think about that for a second. How

48
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,040
Speaker 1: often do you make so many decisions? From the moment

49
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,760
Speaker 1: you wake up, You're thinking about what to wear, what

50
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 1: to eat, what you're gonna do tonight, what you're going

51
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,600
Speaker 1: to watch, all the different tasks you have to get

52
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,520
Speaker 1: through today, packing the kid's lunch. Right, You've got a

53
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,880
Speaker 1: million tasks, a million things to think about. By the

54
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,600
Speaker 1: end of the day, what happens, you just want to

55
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:03,040
Speaker 1: do nothing right, You want to get nothing done all.

56
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,440
Speaker 1: What happens is you start making impulsive decisions that you

57
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,880
Speaker 1: regret later. In one study, participants who are forced to

58
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 1: make many small decisions like choosing products, designs, or preferences

59
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:22,640
Speaker 1: later performed significantly worse on tasks requiring self control. Now

60
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,240
Speaker 1: that's what I love about this topic. It affects all

61
00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,680
Speaker 1: parts of your life, your thinking. The issue is you

62
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,239
Speaker 1: don't have willpower your thinking. The issue is you don't

63
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:36,000
Speaker 1: have self control. The truth is, when you've become exhausted

64
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:41,200
Speaker 1: from making lots of small decisions, you lose that power.

65
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 1: It's a decision making problem. It's not a drive or

66
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,640
Speaker 1: will problem. What this study shows is that over deliberation

67
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:56,800
Speaker 1: isn't just mentally exhausting. It actively reduces your ability to

68
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:02,240
Speaker 1: think clearly, increasing the chance to default to what's familiar.

69
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:06,120
Speaker 1: That's actually one of the reason people like Steve Jobs,

70
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:12,440
Speaker 1: Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg all minimize daily micro decisions, wearing

71
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:17,560
Speaker 1: the same clothes to preserve cognitive energy for the bigger decisions.

72
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,800
Speaker 1: They've even found in studies that judges in courts were

73
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,920
Speaker 1: found to give more favorable rulings early in the day

74
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,640
Speaker 1: after many cases, after seeing many people, they actually struggled

75
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,320
Speaker 1: to give favorable rulings. Now, how does this affect you?

76
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:40,760
Speaker 1: Every should I adds up, every let me think one

77
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 1: more time drains fuel. So when you deliberate excessively, you

78
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,480
Speaker 1: think you're being thorough, but you're actually weakening your judgment.

79
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,400
Speaker 1: That's why your best decision isn't always the most analyzed.

80
00:05:55,960 --> 00:06:00,240
Speaker 1: It's the one made with a clear, rested mind. It's

81
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,320
Speaker 1: why we say things like let me sleep on it,

82
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,760
Speaker 1: because that clarity that rest helps you make a better decision.

83
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,120
Speaker 1: Now here's an action tip. Protect decision making energy by

84
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,560
Speaker 1: making big decisions early in the day. A lot of

85
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,039
Speaker 1: us start by making our small decisions, as opposed to

86
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,280
Speaker 1: focusing on the big ones. When you waste a lot

87
00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,760
Speaker 1: of energy and all the small decisions, you've run out

88
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,240
Speaker 1: of energy by the time it comes to your top priorities.

89
00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:32,280
Speaker 1: So batch the small decisions meals, clothes roots to take.

90
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,240
Speaker 1: Do it the night before, do it a week in advance.

91
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:42,080
Speaker 1: Also use pre made criteria. If X, then I always do. Why.

92
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:48,880
Speaker 1: Stop overthinking things that won't matter in five years. Stop

93
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:54,280
Speaker 1: overthinking replies to people who wouldn't notice if you disappeared.

94
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:59,240
Speaker 1: Stop overthinking how you look to people who don't look

95
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 1: out for you. Stop overthinking your path just because it

96
00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:09,360
Speaker 1: doesn't look like theirs. Stop overthinking the past when your

97
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:15,600
Speaker 1: future is trying to get your focus. Stop overthinking all

98
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:21,200
Speaker 1: of these other small, insignificant decisions that don't impact the

99
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:26,000
Speaker 1: quality of your life. Step two, label the type of decision.

100
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,880
Speaker 1: Not all decisions deserve the same energy. That's a quote

101
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,080
Speaker 1: from Jeff Bezos. And here I want to introduce you

102
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:38,840
Speaker 1: to what's known as type one versus type two framework

103
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:43,560
Speaker 1: for decision making. Type one is if a decision is

104
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:49,960
Speaker 1: irreversible and high stakes, think deeply. A Type two decision

105
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:55,880
Speaker 1: is something that's reversible and low stakes, decide fast. Let

106
00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:00,840
Speaker 1: me say that again. If something is irreversible and high stakes,

107
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:07,440
Speaker 1: think deeply. If something is reversible and low stakes, decide faster.

108
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:13,440
Speaker 1: Most people treat every decision in life like life or death.

109
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,600
Speaker 1: That's how they get paralyzed. Right. Most of us think

110
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:23,000
Speaker 1: this decision will defire my entire life, when in reality,

111
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,000
Speaker 1: you can apply for a new job, you can quit

112
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,320
Speaker 1: this job, you can look for other work, you will

113
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,160
Speaker 1: find another manager. These are all options, but our mind

114
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,480
Speaker 1: makes us feel like there are only two either survive

115
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,240
Speaker 1: or die. And as soon as your brain puts that

116
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:46,840
Speaker 1: pressure onto you, what happens. You get paralyzed. You stop

117
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,960
Speaker 1: having the ability to make a healthier decision knowing that

118
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,680
Speaker 1: there are always more than two options. For example, let's

119
00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,440
Speaker 1: say you're not enjoying your work. Let's say you're not

120
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,400
Speaker 1: doing something you're passionate about. In your head, you think

121
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,160
Speaker 1: there are two options. I either stay here and hate it,

122
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,679
Speaker 1: or I leave and I fail. You don't think about

123
00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,360
Speaker 1: the third option. Maybe I should build a new skill.

124
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,920
Speaker 1: Maybe I should update my LinkedIn profile, Maybe I should

125
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,640
Speaker 1: update my resume. Maybe I should start a side hustle.

126
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,880
Speaker 1: These are all opportunities and options that we don't even

127
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:28,080
Speaker 1: consider because we think there are only two options. When

128
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:32,080
Speaker 1: we realize that most things are reversible and most things

129
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,720
Speaker 1: are not that high states, we actually expand our worldview.

130
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,560
Speaker 1: Here's a mini action for you. Ask yourself, if I

131
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:46,040
Speaker 1: choose wrong, can I recover? If yes, then act, If no,

132
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:52,720
Speaker 1: then investigate further. Most people treat type two decisions like

133
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:57,200
Speaker 1: type one decisions. Decisions that are reversible and low states.

134
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:02,080
Speaker 1: We treat them as irreversible and high states. When we

135
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:07,960
Speaker 1: treat type one decisions like type two decisions, it's a disaster. Right,

136
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,120
Speaker 1: choosing who to marry is a type one decision. It's

137
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,240
Speaker 1: high stakes, and even though it is reversible, it's something

138
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:20,520
Speaker 1: that's challenging to reverse. So it becomes a disaster if

139
00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 1: we act fast and we don't think about it, and

140
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,200
Speaker 1: I've already talked about how we do the opposite, spend

141
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,840
Speaker 1: more time on the few choices that matter and stop

142
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:34,199
Speaker 1: wasting brain power on what doesn't. I also want to

143
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,839
Speaker 1: share with you something that I really came across when

144
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,160
Speaker 1: I was at university. I realized you needed seventy percent

145
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,920
Speaker 1: to get a first class degree. Seventy percent, so that

146
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,520
Speaker 1: means somebody got seventy percent and somebody got ninety nine

147
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,840
Speaker 1: percent ended up with the same grade of getting a

148
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,200
Speaker 1: first class. Sixty to seventy in England was a two

149
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,800
Speaker 1: to one, fifty to sixty was a two to two,

150
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,440
Speaker 1: and anything below that was a three. And so when

151
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,840
Speaker 1: you think about that, a lot of us are trying

152
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,199
Speaker 1: to be at ninety nine when all we need to

153
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:10,160
Speaker 1: do is be at seventy now. Jeff Bezos also shares this,

154
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:15,080
Speaker 1: most decisions should probably made with around seventy percent of

155
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:19,040
Speaker 1: the information you wish you had. If you wait for

156
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:24,760
Speaker 1: ninety percent, in most cases, you're probably being slow. This

157
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,840
Speaker 1: is a really important thing to remember because in the

158
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,439
Speaker 1: process of wanting to be ninety percent perfect, we end

159
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:36,360
Speaker 1: up not even starting. And this ties into satisficing. A

160
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,760
Speaker 1: concept in decision theory that says good enough is often

161
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:47,720
Speaker 1: better than perfect, because perfection is a trap and speed

162
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,480
Speaker 1: creates momentum. I want to give you a real life example.

163
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:55,640
Speaker 1: This is a real Amazon example. In Amazon's early days,

164
00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,960
Speaker 1: choosing where to place new fulfillment centers was a type decision.

165
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,040
Speaker 1: If a location underperformed, they'd shut it down or reallocate it.

166
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,640
Speaker 1: But building Amazon Web services, that's a type one decision.

167
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:16,079
Speaker 1: This required full commitment and long term thinking. Bezos taught

168
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:22,120
Speaker 1: his team be nimble with reversibles, be deliberate with irreversibles.

169
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:27,480
Speaker 1: Here's the practical application for you. Ask these three questions.

170
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,360
Speaker 1: If I get it wrong, is the damage small or permanent?

171
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,439
Speaker 1: Can I test this on a small scale before going

172
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,040
Speaker 1: all in? And here's a bonus thought. The enemy of

173
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:46,480
Speaker 1: speed is not caution, it's confusion. This Bezos framework isn't

174
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,920
Speaker 1: just about fast versus slow. It's about clarity. Knowing what

175
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,840
Speaker 1: kind of decision you're making is the first decision you

176
00:12:54,880 --> 00:13:01,280
Speaker 1: should make. Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start. Stop

177
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 1: waiting to feel certain. Progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till

178
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:13,360
Speaker 1: you feel ready. Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting

179
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:17,760
Speaker 1: till they approve. Most people are too scared to even

180
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:22,960
Speaker 1: try stop waiting till you have more time. You make

181
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:27,840
Speaker 1: time for what matters. Stop waiting for it to be easy.

182
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:51,920
Speaker 1: What transforms you really is Step three. Feel first, then

183
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:56,319
Speaker 1: think Now might sound counterintuitive, but stick with me. One

184
00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,560
Speaker 1: of my favorite quotes is from Antonio Dimascio. He said,

185
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:07,440
Speaker 1: we make our decisions emotionally, then justify them logically. This

186
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 1: idea from Antonio Domasio is one of the most powerful

187
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:17,200
Speaker 1: and underacknowledged truths about how we actually make decisions. Let's

188
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:22,600
Speaker 1: break it down now. Doctor Antonio Domacio is a renowned neuroscientist.

189
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 1: His most influential work centers on how emotion is essential

190
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:32,320
Speaker 1: for rational decision making, a direct challenge to the old

191
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,840
Speaker 1: school belief that logic alone leads to better choices. His

192
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 1: groundbreaking book Descartes Error reshaped modern neuroscience by proving we

193
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:48,479
Speaker 1: are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines

194
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:54,080
Speaker 1: that think. Now. Here's the science. Demassio studied patients with

195
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:59,080
Speaker 1: damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the

196
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 1: brain that connect emotional processing with rational thinking. These patients

197
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 1: had normal IQ. They could reason and analyze logically, but

198
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:13,800
Speaker 1: couldn't make basic decisions, even about where to eat, what

199
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,800
Speaker 1: to wear, or which pen to use. They were emotionally numb.

200
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:23,200
Speaker 1: As a result, their decision making broke down completely. His conclusion,

201
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 1: Without emotion, logic stores emotion isn't noise, it's navigation. Here's

202
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 1: what this really means in real life. You feel something first, desire, fear, excitement, guilt.

203
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,400
Speaker 1: Then your brain builds a logical story to support or

204
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:49,880
Speaker 1: justify that feeling. Example, you feel anxious about leaving your job,

205
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:55,359
Speaker 1: so you build a logical case like the market's unstable

206
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,760
Speaker 1: or this isn't the right time. But deep down your

207
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:05,080
Speaker 1: head visitation might be emotional fear of failure, fear of judgment,

208
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 1: fear of losing identity. The logic is the cover, the

209
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:18,640
Speaker 1: emotion is the compass. Feel first, then think clearly. If

210
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 1: you skip the emotional layer, your logic becomes reactive, not intentional.

211
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,880
Speaker 1: So here's how to use this insight. This is a

212
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 1: three step emotion check in before big decisions. Name the

213
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:39,720
Speaker 1: dominant emotion you're feeling. Is it excitement, fear, shame, pressure, envy,

214
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:46,640
Speaker 1: and then ask is this emotion trustworthy or distorted by

215
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 1: past wounds? Then engage logic. Now you're making decisions from wholeness,

216
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 1: not habit, So to me, asking that question what emotion

217
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 1: is driving this decision and naming it fear, guilt, love, ego?

218
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:09,840
Speaker 1: Then asking is that emotion trustworthy right now? Will save

219
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 1: you so much. I'll give an example. If someone hurts

220
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,159
Speaker 1: me and I'm thinking about hurting them back. If I

221
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:20,119
Speaker 1: ask myself where's that coming from, it's coming from revenge.

222
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 1: Is that trustworthy right now as an emotion? Probably not

223
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,160
Speaker 1: so how I want to behave and how I want

224
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:31,560
Speaker 1: to act, Maybe something I regret. Don't ignore your intuition.

225
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 1: Stop mistrusting your first reaction because it's often your deepest wisdom.

226
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 1: Stop calling it overthinking when it's actually your soul saying no.

227
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,960
Speaker 1: Stop asking for clarity from others when your nervous system

228
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:57,040
Speaker 1: already gave you an answer. Stop pretending you don't know

229
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:03,120
Speaker 1: when you've known all alone. Step four play the ten

230
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:08,360
Speaker 1: ten ten game. Most regrets aren't from what we choose,

231
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,640
Speaker 1: but from not zooming out. That's from Susie Welch's ten

232
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 1: ten ten rule. Ask yourself, how will I feel about

233
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:21,120
Speaker 1: this in ten minutes? How will I feel about this

234
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,679
Speaker 1: in ten months? How will I feel about this? In

235
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 1: ten years. This activates the door selateral prefrontal cortex, the

236
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,400
Speaker 1: part of the brain responsible for long term thinking, basically

237
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:41,119
Speaker 1: reducing impulsive errors. Here's a mini action voice record yourself

238
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 1: answering those three questions. Don't write, speak Speaking activates deeper truth.

239
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,720
Speaker 1: It's a great way of asking yourself. Am I wasting time?

240
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 1: Am I focusing on the wrong thing? Am I overreacting

241
00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 1: to this situation? Will this matter in ten minutes? Will

242
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 1: this matter in ten months? Will this matter in ten years?

243
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 1: Step five create a regret simulation. There's a famous quote

244
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 1: that says, fear of future regret warps present choices. We

245
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 1: wrongly fear regret before we decide, but Harvard research shows

246
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 1: that predicted regret is often exaggerated. Regret feels real. But

247
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 1: it's a simulation. We have to use it deliberately, not reactively.

248
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 1: Imagine both paths. Ask yourself, If I choose this and

249
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 1: it fails, will I respect who I become? Anyway? What

250
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 1: a great question. If I choose this and it fails,

251
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 1: will I respect who I became? Anyway? That's your real

252
00:19:55,119 --> 00:20:00,679
Speaker 1: north star, your integrity, not your outcome. Stop aiming for

253
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: a perfect life, Aim for a life you're proud to remember.

254
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,880
Speaker 1: Stop holding back just to stay safe. Safety won't comfort

255
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 1: you at eighty. Stop letting fear make your decisions. It's

256
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,919
Speaker 1: not the one who has to live with them. Stop

257
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 1: asking what if it goes wrong? Ask what if I

258
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:31,679
Speaker 1: never tried? Stop replaying the past and use that energy

259
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 1: to create a better now. Step number six, ask the

260
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 1: three identity questions. Don't ask what's smart, ask what's in alignment.

261
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 1: Western psychology says we should maximize pleasure or avoid pain,

262
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: but Vadic wisdom teaches that the right action is the

263
00:20:54,359 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 1: one aligned with your deeper purpose. So ask what kind

264
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: of person do I want to become? Which decision reflects

265
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: that version of me? What am I willing to lose

266
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: to protect that? And you can write down your future

267
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:19,399
Speaker 1: self in three bullet points and make your choices them

268
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 1: not as the current you. Deciding who you become is

269
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: the most important decision you'll ever make. But most of

270
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: us decide what we want. We decide what we desire.

271
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: We don't decide who we dream to be. We don't

272
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 1: desire with skills, what behaviors we wish to have, only

273
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 1: results we want to see. I hope this is your

274
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: reminder that whether you have the dream job or not,

275
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 1: whether you have the dream life or not, that you're

276
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 1: becoming the person you want to be that is ready

277
00:21:55,200 --> 00:22:00,680
Speaker 1: to receive what you deserve. Step number seven, Decide, then move.

278
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: The famous wisdom said, no decision is a decision. The

279
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 1: brain's anterior singular cortex hates uncertainty. That's why indecision feels

280
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: like anxiety. Action reduces anxiety, not certainty. Once you choose,

281
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 1: do something physical within five minutes, call the person, send

282
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:32,959
Speaker 1: the email, book that ticket, cancel that plan. Remember, action

283
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: conquers anxiety, not staying the same, not overthinking, not figuring

284
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 1: it all out, actually moving forward. I hope these seven

285
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: steps help you towards making better decisions in your life,

286
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: overcoming overthinking, and overcoming procrastination. And I'll see you here

287
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 1: on another episode of On Purpose. Make sure you tag

288
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 1: me on TikTok, on Instagram, wherever you share all of

289
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: the insights that you're gaining. And remember, I'm forever in

290
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 1: your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you

291
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: love this episode, you love my conversation with doctor Joe

292
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: Dispenser on why stressing overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart,

293
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 1: and how to change your habits that are on autopilot.

294
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: Listen to it right now. How many times do we

295
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering,

296
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: that's the moment of change. One cares how many times

297
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 1: you fell off the bicycle if you ride the bicycle,

298
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 1: Now you ride the bike.