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Speaker 1: my podcast tour for the first time ever. You can

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Speaker 1: see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join

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Speaker 1: me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations

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Speaker 1: with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert,

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Speaker 1: or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences

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Speaker 1: designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on

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Speaker 1: cell now, Head to Jayshetty dot me and get yours today.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people let their weight control

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Speaker 2: their lives. I didn't think that I was capable of changing,

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Speaker 2: and now I know I'm capable of that. Like bitch,

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Speaker 2: I can do anything, like I really can't. Shit is

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Speaker 2: a multi talented entertainment personality. Hope everybody's having a urgy

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Speaker 2: Ergin Mendy the.

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Speaker 1: One, the only. Claudia Austri, what do you feel is

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Speaker 1: the biggest misconception about you?

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Speaker 2: I felt so misunderstood by people, and I remember getting

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Speaker 2: married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to be there. When I was struggling with myself image.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm gonna cry now. Sorry. The number

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Speaker 2: one health and wellness podcast Jay Setty Jay Sheety s

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Speaker 2: Y only shet.

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Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Welcome back to on Purpose, the place you

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Speaker 1: choose to become a happier, healthier and more healed today.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited because I'm actually speaking to someone who is

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Speaker 1: my team's number one pick. My team will only want

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Speaker 1: to show up for Michael B Jordan, Lewis Hamilton, and

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Speaker 1: Claudia Ashery.

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Speaker 2: I'm not siding women into male dominated fields.

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. My team are the biggest fans of

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Speaker 1: today's guest. I was lucky enough and grateful enough to

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Speaker 1: go on her show, The Toast, the hit show award

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Speaker 1: winning incredibly huge, huge, huge podcast called The Toast last year.

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Speaker 1: It is genuinely the thing. Whenever I get stopped, people

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Speaker 1: are like, I heard you on The Toast. I loved it.

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Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved it. So I am so

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Speaker 1: excited I get to return the favor today with Claudia Ushery. Clia,

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Speaker 1: thanks for being.

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Speaker 2: Here, my god best intro Ever do it again.

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Speaker 1: I'd be happy to.

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Speaker 2: I'd be happy.

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Speaker 1: It was genuine, it was honest and.

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Speaker 2: I love you, by the way, Like when we met,

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. I was like a little I'm like,

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Speaker 2: who's this guy? Because I wasn't super familiar. I read

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Speaker 2: your book and I was like, Okay, let's see what

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Speaker 2: it's about. I feel like sometimes when someone becomes really

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Speaker 2: known with a lot of celebrity friends, it can be

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Speaker 2: like a little smoke in mirrors. And I was like, honestly,

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Speaker 2: I'm suspicious this guy's coming in. And you were so

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Speaker 2: kind the second you walked in. It was very disarming.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, never mind, I take back, like

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Speaker 2: I love him. And we had such a great conversation,

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Speaker 2: and I actually loved so many things about your book

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Speaker 2: because your book was like really heavy on relationships, and

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Speaker 2: I just loved it ever since, and I've just like

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Speaker 2: loved you.

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Speaker 1: Oh are you? That genuinely means the word to me.

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Speaker 1: And you made me feel so comfortable that day because

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Speaker 1: I was like, guys, like you guys. I was talking

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Speaker 1: to my team and I was like, you guys, listen

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Speaker 1: to her. And I was like, I'm not cool, I'm

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Speaker 1: not funny. I was like, how am I going to

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Speaker 1: fit in? Like how's this going to work? And they

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Speaker 1: were like, no, no, no, She's gonna be wonderful. And

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Speaker 1: you were and you are and I'm so grateful that

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Speaker 1: I now get to do this back. So let's dive

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Speaker 1: straight in. Because you just said something to me. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't gonna die, but you just said something to me,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to ask you, like, what do you

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Speaker 1: feel is the biggest misconception about you? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's a good question. I don't know if I

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Speaker 2: would say there's one misconception, I would say like though largely,

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Speaker 2: and there was a period a few years ago because

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Speaker 2: I remember writing about this in my book where I

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Speaker 2: felt so misunderstood by people, And I feel like, unless

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Speaker 2: you were watching my podcast every day and listening to

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Speaker 2: everything else thing that I said, you didn't really get me.

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like I come off as like a

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Speaker 2: lot of different things, so like a little crazy, a

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Speaker 2: little outlandish, but I feel like the person that I

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Speaker 2: really am, as like a sister, a wife, I feel

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Speaker 2: like kind of gets lost in the mix. Sometimes I

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Speaker 2: like to think I'm like and I'm always like joking

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Speaker 2: about how funny and sweet and kind of beautiful I am.

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Speaker 2: But I really do believe that about myself and I

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Speaker 2: feel like just because I always lead with like humor

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Speaker 2: and a little bit of like outrageousness, I do feel

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Speaker 2: like that softer very what I think is genuine gets

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Speaker 2: a little bit lost.

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Speaker 1: That's so interesting. I mean, I can relate in so

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Speaker 1: many ways. I feel so misunderstood so often, and it's

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Speaker 1: because we have a view of what a spiritual person

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Speaker 1: or a teacher or a guide looks like. And I

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Speaker 1: think I'm just trying to be people's friend. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to be the person who's just reminding you something.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I feel like your job title definitely like you

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Speaker 2: lead with that, and people have conceptions about that before.

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Speaker 2: And I feel the same way that coming from a

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Speaker 2: comedy space, especially when you make jokes like sometimes are

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Speaker 2: a little you know, people are like, oh, she's crazy,

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Speaker 2: she's radical, and it's just like I'm actually just a girl.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm just a girl, and nothing makes me happier

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Speaker 2: than making people laugh, and like sometimes they take it

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Speaker 2: a little far, but like it's funny, it's fine, what's

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Speaker 2: a big deal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's why for me as well, it's like

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Speaker 1: I want to help people. I want to make people

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Speaker 1: feel better. I want to introduce people to great ideas

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Speaker 1: and insights. It's not it doesn't have to be heavy,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be like everything. I also love

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Speaker 1: soccer and love fashion and love you know, just I'm

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Speaker 1: a normal human being. And it's like, I love that balance,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's how I see myself, as someone

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Speaker 1: who has these very nuanced interests and hobbies and everything else.

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Speaker 1: But I think naturally we're kind of forced to be

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Speaker 1: in a box.

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Speaker 2: Get you both one hundred percent. I so believe that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm so hard and I'm so soft.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that, yeah at the same time at.

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Speaker 2: The same time. And I feel like I'm always leading

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Speaker 2: obviously because what I do is like just try to

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Speaker 2: make people laugh, which I love. So I'm always leading

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Speaker 2: with that. And I do you feel like my sort

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Speaker 2: of so wee sensitive side And I'm very sensitive. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I don't show that a lot, and I

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Speaker 2: don't want to show it that much because I feel

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Speaker 2: like on the internet it's so toxic. If you open

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Speaker 2: up about a vulnerability or something, people throw it back

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Speaker 2: in your face and they use it against you. So

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Speaker 2: I'm also really protective of my own piece.

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Speaker 1: Wow, when did you learn that you had to do that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like when I first started opening up, I

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Speaker 2: feel like the first thing I really opened up about

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Speaker 2: because I share everything on the Internet and it's not hard.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like I'm digging deep to share. I'm

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Speaker 2: a nap. Like if I mean you for the first time,

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you my life story. That's just how I am.

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Speaker 2: So I've never felt like I was sharing something that

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Speaker 2: I wasn't comfortable sharing until I shared my journey with ozambic,

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Speaker 2: which was so personal to me, and you know, I

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Speaker 2: got a lot of support for it, but there were

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Speaker 2: also but you know, you're stealing drugs from diabetics, Like literally, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm not, And there was like a lot of there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of discourse around that, do people who struggle

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Speaker 2: with their weight and need medication? Are they stealing medication

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Speaker 2: from diabetes patients? So I felt like scared to share

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Speaker 2: that one because I think the emotion I felt most

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Speaker 2: was like I was really embarrassed that one I'd gotten

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Speaker 2: myself to a place where I required a medication, and

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Speaker 2: two I did feel a little pushed to share just

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Speaker 2: because it was so obvious to people that I was

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Speaker 2: on it, and you know, everybody, nobody love me live,

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Speaker 2: let me sleep for five minutes. They're like, she's on

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Speaker 2: a sing she don't know something. And when I did share,

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Speaker 2: I'm ultimately so glad that I did. But I didn't

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Speaker 2: feel at first like it was my choice necessarily.

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Speaker 1: That always feels hard. Yeah, yeah, when you feel like

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Speaker 1: you had to share something because there was already so

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Speaker 1: much tool regulation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and now when I look back, I wish I

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Speaker 2: shared sooner. It's like the greatest journey I went on.

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Speaker 2: I have so many positive things to say about it.

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Speaker 2: I think when I tell people it makes them feel

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Speaker 2: like a little less embarrassed about their journey because look

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Speaker 2: at me, I'm so fabulous and even I did it,

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Speaker 2: and I wish I did it sooner, and I loved

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Speaker 2: every minute of the journey, But at the time I

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Speaker 2: was so embarrassed, Like that was just the emotion I

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Speaker 2: remember feeling, was like pure shame.

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Speaker 1: That's I mean, And that sounds like such a hard

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Speaker 1: place to be. We actually interviewed ent video and Harry,

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Speaker 1: a good friend of mine who wrote the book The

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Speaker 1: Magic Pill. He's on ozen Pick and he's gone and

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Speaker 1: done all the research from the biggest experts in the

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Speaker 1: space and the naysays in the space, And so for

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Speaker 1: anyone who's looking for a very research guide to his

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Speaker 1: MP he was brilliant and he talked about it from

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Speaker 1: so many different perspectives. But going back to what you said,

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Speaker 1: one of the first things that I think so hard

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Speaker 1: for people is how society has made people feel shameful

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Speaker 1: about their body in general. I mean, you've talked before

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Speaker 1: about I saw that I actually couldn't believe this existed.

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Speaker 1: But you've talked about going to fat camp. Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I'd never heard of my life, we never I've

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Speaker 1: never heard of that living in America up in London. Yeah, Like,

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Speaker 1: first of all, explain to me how you can get

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Speaker 1: away with calling something fat camp. And what is fat camp?

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Speaker 2: Well, actually, at the time, I believe they were going

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Speaker 2: by weight last camp, not that it mattered like colloquially

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Speaker 2: it's called the fat camp. And yeah, so I went

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Speaker 2: to summer camp my whole life. And when I was like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like maybe I was in like the sixth grade.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember how old I was. My older sister

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Speaker 2: was really struggling with her and I never struggled with

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Speaker 2: my weight as a kid, and you know, my parents

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Speaker 2: tried a lot of different things, and one of the

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Speaker 2: things that they tried was sending her to like a

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Speaker 2: summer camp that was focused on physical fitness. I think

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Speaker 2: what people think of as a fat camp, like a

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Speaker 2: fat farm, where like the kids are up every day

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Speaker 2: pulling tires up hills. It wasn't like that at all.

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Speaker 2: It was a very standard all American summer camp with

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Speaker 2: fitness and diet just sort of at the forefront of

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Speaker 2: meals and activities, and all my sisters went to support

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Speaker 2: my older sister and we ended up having like the

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Speaker 2: most amazing time. We went back. I never went back

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Speaker 2: to the old camp that I had originally went to.

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Speaker 2: We went back every summer. It was the greatest experience

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Speaker 2: of my life. Some of my best friends I still

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Speaker 2: talk to you to this day from camp, and so

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Speaker 2: I know how it like sounds and looks to other people,

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Speaker 2: But for me, it was just such a regular camp experience.

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Speaker 2: But I also wasn't on the program, So for any

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Speaker 2: of the summers that I spent at a weight loss camp,

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Speaker 2: I was actually never struggling with my weight. So'd wear

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Speaker 2: this special bracelet that just let everyone at the facility

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Speaker 2: know like I'm not on the program. And then it

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Speaker 2: turns out, you know, the second I left camp, I

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Speaker 2: actually started to, you know, struggle with my weight and

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Speaker 2: I really could have used a weight loss camp.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, so what was that like then in

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Speaker 1: the beginning years? Because I think what's interesting as we

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Speaker 1: talk about a ZMPIG to me, so much of it

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Speaker 1: is about how we're conditioned since we're young. So I

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Speaker 1: grew up overweight?

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Speaker 2: Oh did you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? For I was overweight until I was about like fifteen, wow,

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Speaker 1: sixteen years old? Maybe can you picture it? And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll show you pictures. Yeah, yeah, I will, I will.

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Speaker 1: My wife has plenty of embarrassing pictures of me, and

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Speaker 1: she was as well. Oh really, yeah she was as well.

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Speaker 2: So let me tell you. People who have never struggled

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Speaker 2: with their weight, like, are are not people. Not that

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Speaker 2: there's anything wrong with them, but like, they're not people

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Speaker 2: I can relate to. I feel like struggling with your

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Speaker 2: weight makes you such a real bitch, like can I

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Speaker 2: curse on here? Ye? Like I feel people who have

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Speaker 2: struggled with their weight they know real struggle, they know

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Speaker 2: being uncovered. Like I just feel I when I meet

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Speaker 2: someone and they've struggled with their weight, Like I automatically

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Speaker 2: know they're like, they're my type of pers do you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: But that's that's why I'm sharing my.

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Speaker 2: It creates such you're resilient and it's like you're serious.

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Speaker 2: Especially as a kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, it's huge. I mean, like I

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Speaker 1: remember the bullying, the name calling, the awkward thing of

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Speaker 1: trying to pull myself out of a swimming pool and

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Speaker 1: not being able to, like you know, moments like that

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Speaker 1: where you're just like, oh gosh, this is the worst

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Speaker 1: thing that could have ever happened. And then being forced

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Speaker 1: to wear speedos at school. Yeah not in America, right, No, never,

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Speaker 1: that's our version of fat camp. Yeah you have to

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Speaker 1: wear that's terrible. Actually. Yeah. And so when I look

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Speaker 1: back at all of that, I think about how much

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Speaker 1: shame guilt is already set up just in our perception

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Speaker 1: of what it means to be overweight. And now you're

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Speaker 1: talking about feeling shame of going on a zempic, which

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Speaker 1: you're taking to do the opposite.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's like you can't win. I used to get

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Speaker 2: like so much you know, backlash and messages like that.

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Speaker 2: I'm setting a bad example that I live in unhealthy lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: So then I take control of it and like, I

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Speaker 2: start changing my life. And now I'm you know, running

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Speaker 2: diabetics over with a bus, Like you really can't win,

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Speaker 2: so you just had to do what makes you happy.

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Speaker 2: And going on that journey made me really happy. It

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Speaker 2: was like the first time in my life where I

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Speaker 2: ever felt in control of my weight. Like since I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I started gaining weight in college, so since I'm eighteen,

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Speaker 2: I it was the craziest feeling. It was so foreign

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Speaker 2: to me, and I think a lot of especially girls

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Speaker 2: who struggle with their weight, maybe able to relate to this.

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Speaker 2: Like I was always a confident person, even when you

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Speaker 2: know I was struggling with my weight, and I was

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Speaker 2: always really happy in my own body. That was like

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Speaker 2: something I really worked on. I think a lot of

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Speaker 2: people let their weight control their lives, whether it comes

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Speaker 2: to work or personal relationships. For me, I was never

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Speaker 2: gonna let it stand in my way. But that didn't

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Speaker 2: mean that I didn't like that. I liked it, like

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Speaker 2: I loved myself and I loved my life. But deep inside,

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Speaker 2: I always wanted to be skinny. So when you're an

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Speaker 2: overweight girl, like you wake up every day and you

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Speaker 2: think about like you look, you pass a mirror, you

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Speaker 2: pass a window. You're thinking probably one hundred times a

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Speaker 2: day about like the inevitable day when maybe one day

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Speaker 2: you will be skinny. So Ozembic gave me that like.

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Speaker 2: And to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think.

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Speaker 2: I know it sounds so dramatic, but to achieve a

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Speaker 2: lifelong dream that you never think is going to come

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Speaker 2: to fruition is the craziest feeling. And that's why I

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Speaker 2: really felt so compelled to share my journey because at

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Speaker 2: the time when I shared it was twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 2: I think maybe around the end of the year, and no,

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Speaker 2: it was like the summer. There was so much negative

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Speaker 2: stuff out there about ozembic, like the Daily Mail. Every

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Speaker 2: time somebody ended up in the er with a headache,

301
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Speaker 2: it was Ozembic's fault, and I just felt like everybody

302
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Speaker 2: was being made fun of for being on ozembic and

303
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Speaker 2: no one was really talking about how life changing it is,

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Speaker 2: and especially as like a girl who always wanted to

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Speaker 2: be a mom, I was. I was like, I can't

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Speaker 2: ever get pregnant at this weight. I have to lose

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Speaker 2: the weight before I can gain the weight. So it

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Speaker 2: just gave me opportunities. It gave me a whole new life,

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Speaker 2: and I felt so compelled to share because it bothered

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Speaker 2: me how negative everything was about this journey, Like we

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Speaker 2: were all supposed to feel shamed, Like the amount of

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Speaker 2: negative media representation that negative mentions of ozembic like was

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Speaker 2: supposed to I think shame people into not doing it,

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't feel like And I

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Speaker 2: think that's why Oprah did her special too. Her special

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Speaker 2: was really powerful because she's somebody who's benefited enormously from it,

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Speaker 2: and you don't hear those stories enough, and it makes

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Speaker 2: me so sad. So ultimately it was the best decision

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Speaker 2: I ever made, going on it and also sharing the journey.

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Speaker 2: But at the time, I just wish people had given

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Speaker 2: me like a little bit more space to process it.

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Speaker 1: You know, did you ever worry about the side effects

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Speaker 1: and what you because I'm guessing you a thing about

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Speaker 1: those things as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. So when I when it was first

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Speaker 2: brought up to me by my plastic surgeon, I was

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Speaker 2: like super intrigued. Then I spoke to like my primary

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Speaker 2: care physician about it and both of them were really

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Speaker 2: like down and excited, and they wanted me to do it,

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Speaker 2: So I fair really good, like knowing that my doctors

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Speaker 2: supported it. And that's why I like, I didn't share

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Speaker 2: from day one because one, what if it didn't go well?

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Speaker 2: Two so it doesn't work for some people. So I

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Speaker 2: make this whole big thing I'm going on, and then

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Speaker 2: I don't even lose the weight, Like there were so

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Speaker 2: many factors at play, so I couldn't share from day one,

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Speaker 2: and then when I started to drop significant weight, I

338
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Speaker 2: was just then feeling embarrassed. That's why I didn't share.

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Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, my life got to a place

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Speaker 2: where it was where I'm so out of control. I

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00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,800
Speaker 2: need medication to get me to stop eating, like and

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Speaker 2: that's what I loved about Oprah Special, But she really

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Speaker 2: dived into like the illness the disease of obesity and

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Speaker 2: how it's like telling someone to stop eating is like

345
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Speaker 2: telling a depressed person to just be happy, Like it's

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00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,719
Speaker 2: really not in our chemical compound. So I felt like

347
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Speaker 2: the whole journey, I was learning about myself. I was

348
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Speaker 2: learning about the disease, I was learning about the medication,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, of course I was worried about side effects,

350
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Speaker 2: but after a couple of weeks when I had minimal

351
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Speaker 2: nausea and it went away pretty fast, I felt like

352
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Speaker 2: this was the right drug for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then what was it that decided to get

354
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Speaker 1: you off it? Oh?

355
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Speaker 2: Well, I had lost the weight and I feel like

356
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Speaker 2: I was on it for a year and the first

357
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Speaker 2: six months I just kind of let the drug like

358
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Speaker 2: do its thing. I didn't change my life at all.

359
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Speaker 2: I was like still eating like crap, but that's how

360
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,880
Speaker 2: the drug works. You eat like crap, but you eat

361
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Speaker 2: half So I was losing weight. And then halfway through,

362
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Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, now that I've kind of gotten

363
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Speaker 2: my life a little bit under control, let me actually

364
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 2: try and change my life. So I joined the gym,

365
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 2: I got a trainer, I started working out, I started

366
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Speaker 2: eating way healthier. So I did the journey like in

367
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,640
Speaker 2: two parts, one where I just kind of let the

368
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,880
Speaker 2: medicaid run me, and then where I use the medication

369
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Speaker 2: as like a tool to change my life. And I

370
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Speaker 2: really wanted to see if I could do it without.

371
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Speaker 2: And I also knew that I had wanted to get

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Speaker 2: pregnant sometime soon, and you have to be off the

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Speaker 2: medication for a minimum of two months. So I got

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Speaker 2: off of it in December of twenty twenty three. I

375
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Speaker 2: knew in the next year I'd wanted to get pregnant,

376
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Speaker 2: and I kind of wanted to put as much time

377
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Speaker 2: between being off the drug and starting my journey, and

378
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Speaker 2: I wanted to see, like if I could keep up

379
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Speaker 2: with my working out and my eating well regimen without

380
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Speaker 2: the drug. And I was able to. And that's like

381
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Speaker 2: one of the things I'm most proud of because like,

382
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Speaker 2: and I never would have been able to get there

383
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Speaker 2: if it weren't for the tool of ozembic and all

384
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 2: those GLP on medications.

385
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Speaker 1: Well, and how did you, How has it changed you?

386
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Speaker 1: Because you, like you said, you're already confident, You already

387
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 1: liked yourself. Now I knew who you were. What's changed?

388
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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm insufferable now. Like No, I think that

389
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 2: so much of my confidence was I really had to

390
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Speaker 2: work at it. Do you know what I mean?

391
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Speaker 1: It was.

392
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Speaker 2: I don't want to say fake, but I just remember

393
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Speaker 2: one day waking up and like deciding to be confident,

394
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,240
Speaker 2: and slowly, by slowly, brick by brick, I built up

395
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,720
Speaker 2: a sense of confidence that really it was real, but

396
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 2: I do think it was built on a foundation of

397
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,560
Speaker 2: like kind of lies. And now that I, like really

398
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,640
Speaker 2: changed my life, I felt so confident. But I also

399
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,440
Speaker 2: felt so confident that I was capable of change. I

400
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 2: think for many years, I'm such a stubborn person. I

401
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 2: didn't think that I was capable of changing anything anything,

402
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,200
Speaker 2: let alone this huge thing for me which has always

403
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,560
Speaker 2: been my weight, which has kind of been like my

404
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,360
Speaker 2: Roman empire. So I think the fact that I successfully

405
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 2: changed something in my life, something bad, and turned it

406
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,720
Speaker 2: into good like that, and now I know I'm capable

407
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,360
Speaker 2: of that, like bitch, I can do anything, like I

408
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 2: really can.

409
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Speaker 1: I love that attitude, But how did you build that

410
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 1: energy before? Like I don't want to take away from

411
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Speaker 1: the fact that even though you say you were faking it,

412
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:55,040
Speaker 1: obviously it was working in that you were still doing well.

413
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Speaker 1: It seems like you were comfortable in your own skin.

414
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Speaker 1: Like what would you say to someone who maybe does

415
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,160
Speaker 1: doesn't have doesn't want to go on his MPG because

416
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,159
Speaker 1: they're scid or whatever it may be, But like, what

417
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 1: would you say with him?

418
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,399
Speaker 2: So I feel like people don't like my answer because

419
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,159
Speaker 2: when I was like struggling with my self image. I

420
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 2: feel like I'm gonna cry and ass are so much

421
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 2: of my confidence, I would say, like all of it

422
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 2: came from the fact that I had a husband or

423
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 2: a boyfriend at the time, Beyonce, who loved me so

424
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 2: much and he thought I was like the greatest thing.

425
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Speaker 2: And so if he thought and look at him like

426
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 2: I just I love him so much, and so he

427
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 2: thinks I'm so great, Like that's nothing. You should get

428
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,880
Speaker 2: your confidence from a man, whatever, But like I did,

429
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 2: just to be loved so unequivocally by somebody who I

430
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 2: think is so great that gave me a lot of confidence.

431
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 2: Like he thought I was the best, he thought I

432
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,440
Speaker 2: was the smartest, he thought I was the prettiest, so

433
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,560
Speaker 2: like I was because his opinion is only one that matters.

434
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Speaker 2: But also like I look at him and I think

435
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 2: of him as like so charming attractive, like who wouldn't

436
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,520
Speaker 2: want to marry him? And he likes me, like, oh

437
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,880
Speaker 2: my god, I must be like the greatest thing ever.

438
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,359
Speaker 2: And and I really feel like so much of my confidence.

439
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,400
Speaker 2: It's so funny because he says that he gets confidence

440
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,359
Speaker 2: from me, which I feel like really happy that it's

441
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 2: a two way street. But having a relationship that I

442
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 2: felt really solid about, but also somebody who just loved

443
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 2: me so much. Really, it just made me believe like

444
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,520
Speaker 2: what he was saying, do you know what I mean?

445
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 1: What's interesting to me is just so much of how

446
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 1: whether it's body shaming we do to ourselves or that

447
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 1: society does to us, how so much of it is

448
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:31,119
Speaker 1: built up around aesthetics and visuals, and how health and

449
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 1: vitality are actually not based on simply visuals.

450
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 2: No, but I will say visually at the time, like

451
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,480
Speaker 2: if you were to just compare me visually now and

452
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 2: me visually then, like I was very unhealthy, Like I

453
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 2: had a lot of random medical issues that like a

454
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 2: twenty five year old girl shouldn't be having. So I

455
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 2: agree with you that like a lot of times we

456
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,680
Speaker 2: judge people's health based on their weight, and that's not

457
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,159
Speaker 2: the case for everyone. But to be clear, like it

458
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,400
Speaker 2: was the case for me. Yeah, like I was not healthy.

459
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 2: I did not walk to work, like I was really

460
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 2: like living a very inactive, unhealthy lifestyle. That's not the

461
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,399
Speaker 2: case for everyone you see who's overweight, but that was

462
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 2: one thousand percent the case for me.

463
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.

464
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,920
Speaker 2: Bitch, well, now pregnant, so like it's kind of reverted back,

465
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 2: but so not pregnancy wise. I just really like lead

466
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 2: my day with little pockets of activity. I think that

467
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 2: like met going to meetings, going to work, Like I'm

468
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,440
Speaker 2: always being like, okay, I'll walk. I worked out like

469
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 2: before I got pregnant, I worked out like, you know,

470
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 2: three to five times a week. I would spend my

471
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 2: weekends like doing things that I enjoy whilst being active,

472
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,960
Speaker 2: like going for walks in the park with Ben. Just

473
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 2: like making sure that I wasn't rotting in bed as

474
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 2: much as I can I'm capable of, because I'm capable

475
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,359
Speaker 2: of a great deal of rotting. And then with meals,

476
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 2: that's really where I probably struggled the most, but just

477
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,200
Speaker 2: just trying to be a little bit more well rounded.

478
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,720
Speaker 2: I feel like I eat like a six year old,

479
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 2: and so I do, like I eat rice and chicken fingers,

480
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 2: and so just changing sometimes to like brown rice and

481
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 2: grilled chicken and you know, thinking a little bit more.

482
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 2: But it's hard because I'm such a picky eater that

483
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not going to be making bronzino on

484
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 2: the weekends with like a top of nod, you know,

485
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 2: that's never gonna happen. I don't even know what top

486
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,119
Speaker 2: of nod is.

487
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 1: And then I mean, as I'm hearing you speak, I'm

488
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 1: just like, is there a lot of people talk about

489
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: this right now, like this idea of when you become pregnant?

490
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,119
Speaker 1: Is there like a loss of the life you had? Like,

491
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: is there a feeling of like, wait a minute, just

492
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: a few moments ago, a few months ago I was I.

493
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 2: Would say, I don't feel I really. I mean, I've

494
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 2: been married for one hundred years and we decided to

495
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 2: wait to have kids. And I think that because we

496
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,400
Speaker 2: made that choice, I am now not spending my pregnancy

497
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 2: and you know, hopefully the next year or two morning

498
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 2: a life. I feel like I lived life to the

499
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,920
Speaker 2: fullest and I really really waited till I was ready.

500
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 2: So the only thing I feel like I'm mourning is

501
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 2: my body. Like that, nobody talks enough about like what

502
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 2: it's like to lose significant weight and then get pregnant.

503
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 2: I don't know how I feel about it. I don't

504
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 2: have like fully fleshed though outs. I'm like struggling every

505
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 2: single day. But no, I don't feel sad about like

506
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 2: a life left behind. I feel like I lived every

507
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 2: minute of my twenties, like on the edge of cliffs,

508
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 2: going on trips, partying, like doing everything I wanted to do.

509
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: And when I turned thirty over the summer, I was like,

510
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,159
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm done, Like I really feel And

511
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 2: that's what I'm so happy about, because, yeah, I like

512
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 2: see my friends with kids, and I'm like, oh, I

513
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 2: do wish I had, like, you know, joined them. But

514
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 2: I feel so fulfilled in that one chapter of my

515
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 2: life that I'm really ready to start the next chapter.

516
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: Ye, what was the reason for putting kids off in

517
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: the beginning?

518
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 2: What was the I would say it was mostly career.

519
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: I've been working since I'm eighteen, and I just could

520
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 2: not fathom taking time off. And I don't know, it

521
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 2: just it really scared me. It doesn't scare me so

522
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 2: much anymore. But also the weight thing played I could

523
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 2: not fathom at my previous weight getting pregnant. I think

524
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 2: it would be a high risk pregnance one and two Like,

525
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 2: I think it would take me to a new way,

526
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 2: a new category that I might not be able to

527
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 2: come back from. So I always knew I had to

528
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 2: figure it out before and Ozemba came to me at

529
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 2: like the perfect time.

530
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think the first thing you mentioned I related

531
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 1: to that is obviously me and my wife don't have

532
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 1: kids yet and we'd love to one day. But I

533
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: think a big thing for me also was I was

534
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,680
Speaker 1: very clear on who I was when we met and

535
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 1: things were kind of going in the right direction for

536
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 1: me and then my wife, I was like, really patient

537
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: and I really wanted her to find her purpose before

538
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 1: we had kids, because I wanted her to know who

539
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 1: she was and know her identity and have clarity on

540
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: her worth and her value in everything before we have

541
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: a child. Because I just felt I was like, I

542
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 1: want her to also live a life and what that

543
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 1: looks like. And you know, in the past couple of

544
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: years she's just like blossom and grown. It's been so

545
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 1: fun to watch and it's like now I'm like, yeah,

546
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 1: now you know I from when we're lucky to have children.

547
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: It's more you can conceive it totally. Yeah, and that

548
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 1: you're coming at it from a point of like I

549
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: know who I am without anything, Yes, And I think

550
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 1: that was so important to me for her, I already

551
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: had it myself.

552
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: And also different career thing right, like as a woman

553
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 2: it's not like you give birth and then you go

554
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 2: back to work. It's like a two year thing from

555
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 2: conception to the end, like till you really start to

556
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 2: feel like yourself again, especially when your job is like

557
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 2: being public and people have so much to say about

558
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 2: your body, Like I don't necessarily didn't want to put

559
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 2: myself through that, Like I really wasn't ready for it.

560
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 2: So I cannot recommend enough waiting till you're really ready.

561
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 2: And I know that that's a privilege, but like I

562
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 2: I'm so pleased with how it's worked out so far,

563
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 2: and I'm really really glad that I waited because I

564
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 2: remember I always used to say, like I wanted ten

565
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 2: kids when I was twenty five, and I remember sitting

566
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 2: at my friend's couch and I was like drunk, and

567
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 2: he was like, by the way, like when do you

568
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 2: want have kids? I'm like, when I'm twenty five, and

569
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 2: he was like, how old you? I'm like twenty five,

570
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 2: So maybe maybe when I'm twenty six, And I don't know.

571
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: I always I've always always known I love kids, like

572
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 2: my niece and my nephews or my whole life, like

573
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 2: I've always known that I wanted to be a mom,

574
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 2: and then I started to get a little worried because

575
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 2: I didn't feel it. I'm like, oh crap, Like I

576
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: was so annoyed at the biological hawk, and I was

577
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 2: so annoyed at COVID. It like took two years for

578
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 2: me that like maybe if COVID hadn't happened, I would

579
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,199
Speaker 2: have been living my life those two years and been

580
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,239
Speaker 2: ready when I was twenty eight. But I was like, crap, noe,

581
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 2: and I got a little worried that I was never

582
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 2: gonna be ready because I know it's something that I want.

583
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: And that's why I feel so grateful that I very

584
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 2: naturally came to the conclusion that I'm ready. And my

585
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 2: husband was amazing about that. Like if I had said

586
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: Tim five years ago, let's have a kid, he'd say, okay.

587
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 2: If I said Tim this year, Like he was really

588
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 2: let me lead, which I so appreciatd and never put

589
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 2: pressure on me to like either wait longer or hurry up.

590
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 2: Same with our families, Like nobody really tortured us about it.

591
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: And I know a lot of girls get like endless

592
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: harassment from their parents and their in laws, and like

593
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 2: I didn't get that, And I'm so grateful because I

594
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 2: really came to the conclusion on my own. So no,

595
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't like look around and I don't

596
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 2: look at social media and see people like you know,

597
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 2: on trips and flying out of planes and think, oh,

598
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 2: I wish that was me. I'm like, you know what

599
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 2: I did my time. Honestly, that video makes me tired.

600
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 2: I want to go take a nap.

601
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: Walk me through that internal dialogue of like, how do

602
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 1: you get to that place of getting ready? I think

603
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: so many, any of us, yeah, are waiting to feel

604
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 1: ready in life, whether it's waiting to feel ready to

605
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: start a podcast, whether it's waiting to write your book,

606
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: whether it's waiting to have a kid, whether it's waiting

607
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 1: to get married. And you're we're just waiting, yeah, but

608
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 1: we never feel ready for most of us, I know,

609
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: walk me through what you feel being ready means.

610
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 2: I feel like jealousy is a really powerful emotion, and

611
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 2: I started to feel like I might be ready to

612
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: start a family when like I would hear about other

613
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 2: girls that I knew, friends people telling me, and up

614
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 2: until that point, when people would tell me, I would

615
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 2: be so happy for them, like I would cry, like

616
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 2: really genuine and I remember the first time. It was

617
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 2: like December of twenty twenty three. One of Ben's friends,

618
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: who his fiance excuse me wife is one of my

619
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 2: good friends. They told us that they were pregnant, and

620
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 2: I was so happy for it, but like I was

621
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 2: a little jealous. And then I was like, oh, that's interesting.

622
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: And that's why I feel like it's so important to

623
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: listen to yourself and be able to identify emotions, because

624
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, let's jut that down. I told

625
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 2: Ben I'm like, by the way, I'm a little jealous

626
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 2: of Natalie. He was like, oh, that's great. And that

627
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 2: was in December. That was actually when I decided to

628
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 2: get off of zembic and I was like, ohkay o,

629
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 2: good to know. And then I just started like listening

630
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 2: to my feelings and when other people would tell me,

631
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 2: I'd be like, damn, now I'm starting to feel a

632
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 2: little left behind. And so really it was my own

633
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 2: emotions that told me I was ready. And I've always

634
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 2: been very good at like identifying my own emotions and

635
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 2: like thinking how does this make me feel? And I

636
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: pissed him. I happy, and that's really I would say,

637
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 2: how I knew yeah, but it was a struggle.

638
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 1: It feels like you're someone that always knows you ready

639
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: there because you got what married at twenty three?

640
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 2: Yes, I got married very young. I got engaged. Me

641
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 2: and Ben met when I was eighteen. We got engaged

642
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: when I was twenty one, so we did author of

643
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 2: college and then twenty three. Yeah, when I got.

644
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: Married, how did you know Ben was the one and

645
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: you were ready to get married? Then?

646
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 2: It just wasn't even a question. Honestly, I would have

647
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 2: gotten married sooner, Like I know, it sounds so crazy,

648
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 2: and it is. But we met when I was eighteen,

649
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 2: so I was a freshman in college, and then when

650
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 2: I was a senior, I wasn't allowed to get engaged

651
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 2: in college. It was like girl, get a degree and

652
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 2: then we could talk. So I graduated in May, and

653
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 2: then Ben and I got engaged in June. It was

654
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 2: I know, it sounds it was four years. I was like, bitch,

655
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 2: I'm ready, Like let's go. Like I knew like from

656
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: day one that Ben was loved my life. It took him,

657
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 2: i want to say, like three months to know that

658
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 2: I was the love of his life. But it's okay.

659
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 2: Some people were all on our different journeys. We all

660
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 2: have our impresses.

661
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 1: I'm you and my wife's Ben.

662
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I I try not to like hold resentment.

663
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, no, I remember that time you knew

664
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 2: that I was so cute? Yeah, like, okay, you know

665
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 2: like me, I don't know. I just I just knew.

666
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: And it's so crazy because we met when I'm eighteen.

667
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 2: I'm thirty now, so there is a huge part of

668
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 2: my life where Ben isn't a factor. But I don't

669
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 2: even remember. It's like before Ben and after Ben, Like

670
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,719
Speaker 2: I don't remember. It's weird if ill like tell him

671
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 2: a story and he wasn't there, I'm like, eh, where

672
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 2: were you? Like you, I actually feel like we're related

673
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 2: and we might be, but like whatever, I it's the

674
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: craziest thing. I can't really explain how I knew, but

675
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 2: I think when I when we first met, I was

676
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 2: like so excited to have a boyfriend because I loved

677
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,719
Speaker 2: watching movies growing up. I'm like, oh my god, I'm

678
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 2: literally share from clueless. I finally have a boyfriend. And

679
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 2: I was so obsessed with the idea of having a

680
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 2: boyfriend and like the fact that there was this person

681
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: who wanted to spend time with me, and I was

682
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 2: so excited about it, and then like, I feel like

683
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 2: a relationship. We really grew up together. So the law

684
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 2: we were together in the more time we would spend,

685
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: it was like becoming abundantly clear, like we really had

686
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: the same values and we really are the same person.

687
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 2: And it's so funny because Ben is so funny, but

688
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: he's married to me, so it's like good luck. And

689
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: I always say if he had married anyone else, he

690
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 2: would be the funniest guy in every room. But people

691
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 2: say to me, people have known Ben for like three years, like,

692
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 2: by the way, Ben's funny. I'm like, no, I know,

693
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 2: but he can't get a word in with me. He's

694
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 2: just the best. And I honestly, I know it sounds

695
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,479
Speaker 2: so crazy to have gotten married so young. And when

696
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 2: we were getting married, I grew up in a modern

697
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 2: Orthodox Jewish community, so it really wasn't that crazy. Most

698
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 2: my friends have been married around the same age as me.

699
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: But when I would meet like people, you know, regular

700
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 2: secular folk, they would think it was so crazy. And

701
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 2: I remember like being offended when people would say that,

702
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, you don't know me and Ben, you don't

703
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 2: know but let me tell you something, the older I've gotten,

704
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: the more I learned, like we were crazy. We've changed

705
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: so much, you know. And when people say like not

706
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 2: to get married young, like they're right for that, they're

707
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 2: saying it for a reason. I think that the way

708
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 2: it worked out for me and Ben is really not

709
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 2: how it works out for most people. Because I'm so different.

710
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I used to be so annoying, if

711
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: you can imagine it, Like I was just such a

712
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 2: different person and so was Ben. You know, I was

713
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: like very insecure and I don't know, I just was weird.

714
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: And I and I grew up, I think, into a

715
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: person that's amazing. But I grew up to be somebody

716
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 2: a little different. And it's possible that I had grown

717
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 2: that I would have grown into somebody that Ben didn't like.

718
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: And it's possible that Ben would have grown into he

719
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: was twenty one, that he would have grown into somebody

720
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 2: that I wasn't particularly into. But we really made a

721
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 2: conscious choice to like grow up together. So I understand

722
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: why people said that, and they were probably right for that.

723
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 2: But we're different. Sorry, just saw we are. No.

724
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: I think that's a really fair point, and I think

725
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 1: even Roddy was twenty five and I was twenty eight,

726
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: and even that is somewhat it's still you know, it's

727
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: still younger, and it's like it's it's the same for us,

728
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: like we were sure, you know, it worked out for us.

729
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: But I would say I knew myself very well. Rodiye

730
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: knew herself enough for the time. She's definitely grown. I've

731
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: kind of staid the same, Yeah, And so there is

732
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: a sense of like, sometimes you get lucky and you're

733
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: fortunate and you're blessed and it's beautiful, and sometimes it

734
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: can be really hard. Of course I'm crazy, And I

735
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: think what I'm hearing from you is just like it's

736
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: not an issue if whether you're the rule or the

737
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: exception or whichever one you think you are, the point

738
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: is just be thoughtful about it, like because yeah, you

739
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: don't want to rush into something too young.

740
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. I also think Ben's a really patient person. And

741
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: I definitely did not know who I was literally until

742
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: I would say a year or two ago, And I

743
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 2: think I led with that like sort of insecurity, and

744
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 2: he was very patient with me, and he was still

745
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 2: like dealing and growing with his own thing. But I

746
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: don't know if in those early years, if I was

747
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 2: like the best version of myself, and I think that

748
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 2: he really saw in me who like my potential and

749
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: was very measured and really patient. So it takes two

750
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 2: people to tango. And he definitely is like the kinder,

751
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 2: patient one in the relationship and I'm a little bit

752
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: more like rough around the edges, if you can imagine.

753
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 2: And he I would attribute a lot of our marital

754
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 2: success to him.

755
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 1: I love that much. You love then he's the best. Yeah,

756
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: it's amazing, call to me.

757
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 2: But not you've never met him. He's downstairs, honestly on

758
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 2: a call. Like, let me tell you, my husband is

759
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 2: always on a call. I don't know who the hell

760
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: he's talking to. Literally this morning, he doesn't. It's the phone.

761
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: Forty minutes, I'm where are he was like walking the talk,

762
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: I'm on a call. Who the hell are you talking to?

763
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 2: I can't.

764
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: No, it's it's lovely to say, I want you love

765
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: him like it's it's really beautiful.

766
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 2: Thank you, I will say. Like, one other reason why

767
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: you shouldn't get married young is I have oddly made

768
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 2: so many lifelong friends much later in life. And these

769
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 2: people weren't even at my wedding. It's the weirdest thing. Like,

770
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: and some of these bitches at my wedding, like, girl,

771
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 2: I don't know, you get out of here, and they're

772
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: like in my pictures and shit. Also, I wish I

773
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 2: had waited because like, if I had been on ozembic

774
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: at my wedding photos, I would have been a lot

775
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 2: happier with the end results of the pictures. But that's

776
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 2: my fault. That's my fault.

777
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 1: No, I could so relate to that. I'm at that.

778
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 1: I'm at that stage where I've got a lot of

779
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: friends who are older than me, and they all renewing

780
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: their vows right now, right and they literally were like, Jay,

781
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: you went at my wedding. But I love that. You

782
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: how weird because friends change so much from when you

783
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: get married.

784
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 2: So much, And I feel like there's a point in

785
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 2: your life where, like you you have made all of

786
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 2: your friends, and twenty one was not that for me

787
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: at all.

788
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you haven't. You haven't worked enough, you know.

789
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 2: And so many of my best lifelong friends are people

790
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: I've met through work.

791
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: How's that? How does that work?

792
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 2: I like my two of my best friends, like Brian

793
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 2: and Taylor like I met they were guests on our show.

794
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: You meet a lot of people, and like, you know,

795
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 2: the reputation of podcasters, content creators, influencers like is what

796
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 2: it is for reason, Like some of them are insufferable,

797
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: but some of them are just like the most fabulous

798
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 2: people you'll ever meet in your entire life. And that's

799
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: my friends Brian and Taylor. And they were not at

800
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 2: my wedding. And sometimes I'll think about that and I'll

801
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I should have wait, yeah, I should

802
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: have listen to everybody. Well you I know, but you know,

803
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 2: they do say that's a curse. I don't know if

804
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 2: that's just for the real housewives, but every real housewife

805
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 2: who has ever renewed her vows ended up divorced.

806
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: Really just about that that's a fact.

807
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, you know it's a fact. But it's like,

808
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 2: I don't plan on renewing my vows. Also, I feel

809
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 2: like bow renewal is like an inherently non Jewish thing,

810
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 2: Like Jewish people don't renew their vows. I don't know,

811
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 2: at you a single Jewish person that's renewed her vows.

812
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Yeah, I don't know if it's like in

813
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 2: the Bible or anything. I just feel like it's not culturally.

814
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: Jewish interesting, got it, Okay, understood? Understood. Yeah, it's a

815
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, I've I'm always trying to convince Rady

816
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: that I want to do it, and she's like, yeah,

817
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: of course you wont another wedding because you didn't plan

818
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: the last one once.

819
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 2: I'm so with her on that, although the only reason

820
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 2: I would do it was would be like to get

821
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 2: new pictures because I was like so ugly at my wedding.

822
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 2: It's kind of like one of my biggest regrets.

823
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: I think Rady would do it for new pictures because

824
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: she even though she looked absolutely gorgeous, she's still she's evolve.

825
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 2: They're not really, but I guess there are. It's a

826
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 2: time capsule, you know. It's a moment in time, not

827
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 2: a moment I want to remember.

828
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,840
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834
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835
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836
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Speaker 1: the code on Purpose. How do you decide what parts

850
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,800
Speaker 1: of your life to share publicly and what parts to

851
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: keep private.

852
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 2: I generally just lead with what I'm comfortable with. It's

853
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,959
Speaker 2: like if I wouldn't be ashamed to tell the person

854
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 2: next me on the train, and I don't really feel

855
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,439
Speaker 2: shame about a lot of things. I feel like maybe

856
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 2: that's something I could and should work on. But no,

857
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 2: I would say the ozembic thing is like the one

858
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 2: thing I really had to push myself to share. But

859
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,839
Speaker 2: for the most part, I share what's comfortable, and I'm

860
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 2: just I'm an open person. I think that some people

861
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 2: find that unconceivable, but I just am.

862
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: So it's easy for you. But you were saying earlier

863
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: that there's there's times when you're like, oh, this could

864
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 1: be judds, this could yeah, this could be misconstrued in

865
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: so and I think that's a really valid point. I

866
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: appreciate you being so honest about it. That's why I'm

867
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: raising it because I think at one point we were

868
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 1: in this phase where we're like, vulnerability means you share

869
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: everything with everyone, and I don't subscribe to that definition

870
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: of vulnerability. I think vulnerability is actually I know why

871
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: I'm sharing it with this person, and I feel safe

872
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: to share it there, and so I think that societies

873
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 1: had to evolve. And then you also see performative vulnerability

874
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 1: where people are like literally telling a vulnerable story only because.

875
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 2: They you get rewarded for it.

876
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: Totally exactly. It's then ruins the purpose of vulnerability because

877
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 1: then it's not vulnerable. So it's like this messy space

878
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: where I'm trying to I'm constantly reflecting on like what's

879
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: truly vulnerable? How comfortable do I feel about it? What

880
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: does that mean? Yeah?

881
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 2: I guess then, like I wouldn't categorize myself as a

882
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 2: particularly vulnerable person because when I share things, even things

883
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 2: that are deeply personal, I don't feel like it's a

884
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 2: big deal, do you know what I mean? I'm just

885
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 2: in hope. That's just how I am. So I would

886
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 2: feel weirder not telling people things Like even when I

887
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 2: was trying to conceive with Ben, I do a podcast

888
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: ever day, I'm alway talking about what's going on in

889
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 2: my life and my marriage, and it was this huge

890
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 2: part that I wasn't sharing, and it felt so deceitful.

891
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 2: It was so foreign to me because I'm so used

892
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 2: to saying, yeah, last night I did X, Y and

893
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: Z and my color and my underwearest purple, Like I'm

894
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,879
Speaker 2: such a sharer that actually not sharing is what makes

895
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 2: me uncomfortable.

896
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 1: And why did you not share that? What was there?

897
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 2: You know, what's it's like a Jewish superstition, like.

898
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: H culture culture, it felt private? Yeah, you know, yeah, no, no,

899
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 1: I think Indian culture Jewish culture are very similar. It's

900
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: a lot in common. And yeah, there's definitely there are

901
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: definitely certain things that you don't share and you don't

902
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 1: open up too much about you wait.

903
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 2: Till they're real and yeah, taking care of you exactly.

904
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, no, I respect that, and I get that.

905
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's healthy for people to,

906
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: you know, find I just I just want to encourage

907
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 1: people to think about, you know, whether they're a public

908
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: figure or not, who you share what with This is

909
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: so important and just don't fall into the trap of oh,

910
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 1: everyone's being vulnerable, that's what it means to you know.

911
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think that's like a byproduct of the

912
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 2: Internet is like nobody really keeps anything to themselves anymore.

913
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: And I think what started out as like a genuinely

914
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: like good initiative to open up a things is now

915
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 2: like we're all sharing, we all know a little too

916
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 2: much about each other.

917
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: You know.

918
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: That's how I feel, let's pull back.

919
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sometimes I word something like we shouldn't tell us that, Like, yeah,

920
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 1: I don't think there was a need for.

921
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: You with myself. Like today on the podcast, I was like,

922
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 2: I gotta go. I got a poop, And it's like,

923
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: why when I say that and just say it again,

924
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 2: do you know?

925
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. And also one thing's really interesting to me.

926
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: I got a friend's birthday last month and he said

927
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: to me, he was like, Jay, like, I noticed, like

928
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 1: you never post what we're doing personally and privately. And

929
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: I said to him, I said, it's because I'm really lucky.

930
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 1: I think my public life's amazing, but my private life's

931
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 1: better than my public life. And I imagine a world

932
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,360
Speaker 1: in which I'm sitting in an old rocking chair talking

933
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: to my grandkids and talking to family and sharing these

934
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 1: stories that no one knows anything about. Yeah, And there's

935
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: something about that feels really sacred and special to me.

936
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 1: And I really want that because I remember years ago

937
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: sitting with someone and I'm not even family or close

938
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: with him, but I remember sitting on a beach with him,

939
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 1: and he was an older man. I was in my

940
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: late twenties, he was probably in his sixties, and he

941
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 1: just had so many life stories to share. He wasn't famous,

942
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: he wasn't well known, and he just had all these

943
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: cool stories that I was like, no one's gonna know these, yeah,

944
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,839
Speaker 1: but he gets to live them every day. And there

945
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: was something about that. I was like, I want to

946
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,360
Speaker 1: have memories that are only mine. Yeah, that was important

947
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: to me.

948
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 2: I think that that's something I learn as I get older.

949
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 2: But it also makes it complicated when sharing is your life.

950
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 2: And I feel like there used to be a time

951
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,240
Speaker 2: when I would literally be sharing a piece of content

952
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 2: every thirty minutes. I would have a cocktail and post,

953
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 2: which is like so dangerous and stupid, but the craziest,

954
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I used to be like blackout in

955
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 2: a drive through at Waterburger in Texas, like Blackout ordering

956
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 2: like a crispy chicken biscuit like whatever, like, and it

957
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 2: was just I looked so scary and I'd catch them

958
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 2: all over my face, like and I think that's why people,

959
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 2: you know, that's why I have a lot of the

960
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 2: following that I do. They loved that life. But that's

961
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 2: not my life anymore. And it occurred to me, like

962
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 2: several years ago that I didn't have to share every

963
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,800
Speaker 2: thought that I have. One it was getting me in

964
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: trouble and two like, yeah, some things can just be

965
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 2: like thoughts or memories or things that you keep to yourself.

966
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 2: And so I do feel like my strategy has shifted.

967
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 2: But it's tough when that's also how you make a living.

968
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: Yeah you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's yeah. So how

969
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: do you balance that.

970
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 2: I'm working on it.

971
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard.

972
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 2: It is hard. I think that I've gotten much better,

973
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 2: and I look at it a lot like this is

974
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 2: my job. We're putting out content like for the job,

975
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 2: but it doesn't have to be like the most authentic

976
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 2: one percent, three hundred and sixty degree view of my life.

977
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,720
Speaker 2: Like I can have things for myself.

978
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: That's it's it's good to know you're working on it.

979
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: That's the point, right, So none of us have figured

980
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 1: it out.

981
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 2: Too. Like an Instagram story from twenty nineteen, I would die.

982
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: I would die.

983
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: Well, I was out of control, Like I just used

984
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,240
Speaker 2: to say so many things like stop talking, okay, stop

985
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 2: like not everything needs to be shared.

986
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 1: One thing I want to dive into with you. We've

987
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 1: talked about a zembig, We've talked about pregnancy, we've talked

988
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: about marriage, and of course we can keep talking about those.

989
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 1: But I think what often happens with someone like yourself.

990
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,760
Speaker 1: And I'm projecting because I feel this happens to me sometimes,

991
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 1: But I'm projecting this idea that people don't see the

992
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: hard work from a business perspective, the strategy perspective, the

993
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 1: sleepless nights, the growth, Like you've built something incredible and

994
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 1: it's shadowed, not in a bad way, but it's overshadowed

995
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: by this amazing persona that you have and your charisma

996
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: and your aura and everything else. Right, It's like it's

997
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: that's what we're watching and that's what we're captivated by,

998
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 1: but there's a really thoughtful business person behind it who's

999
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: and I don't mean that from a oh, you're just

1000
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,919
Speaker 1: figuring out how to build a business, what you mean? Yeah,

1001
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: I mean it from like a you've you've figured out

1002
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 1: how to turn a tumbler page into you know, yeah, exactly,

1003
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: which which is really amazing and I think so many

1004
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 1: people today want to do that. So I wanted to

1005
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: kind of go back to the start and ask you, like,

1006
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 1: what did you want to be before girl with no job?

1007
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 2: That's a great question. I almost like didn't have time

1008
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: to figure it out. So I started this tumbler in

1009
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 2: freshman year of college, which is when people figure out

1010
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 2: what they want to do. It very slowly, but also

1011
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 2: quickly became something I was making money off of. So

1012
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: much so by the time I graduated, I was making

1013
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 2: like sponsored Instagram posts for a fee that would have

1014
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: been my salary if I ended up with like a

1015
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,280
Speaker 2: job in media, and at the time, like content creation

1016
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,760
Speaker 2: was not a job. So when I made the decision,

1017
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 2: it just made no sense, like to sit at a

1018
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 2: desk and earn a living that was comparatively small to

1019
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 2: what I was pulling for my Instagram. But people were

1020
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: just like they couldn't believe it. They're like, it's not

1021
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 2: gonna last forever, and I'm like, maybe, but maybe what

1022
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 2: if I just ran with it? And it was really

1023
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 2: like inconceivable to people that I was not getting a

1024
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 2: job postgrad and that I would be like on my phone.

1025
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 2: And I understand why because right after that I was

1026
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 2: making a really good living, but I was doing nothing,

1027
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 2: Like I was home all day, and I was watching

1028
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 2: a lot of TV, and I was like recapping in

1029
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 2: and writing funny blog posts and I was making money,

1030
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 2: but I was not doing anything, Like, I had no

1031
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 2: structure to my day. I did not set an alarm

1032
00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 2: and it was lovely, but it was not fulfilling, and

1033
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 2: I knew that it wasn't a sustainable way. And that's

1034
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 2: why when we started the podcast, I loved it so

1035
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: much for a million different reasons. But it gave me structure,

1036
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 2: It gave me a day like and now even to

1037
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 2: this day, I very much operate like on Monday to Friday,

1038
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 2: nine to five. I work forty hours a week, like

1039
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 2: every other American like, and I think some people run

1040
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 2: from that sort of convention, but when you didn't have it,

1041
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 2: it was like kind of horrible. So I craved that

1042
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 2: sort of structure instability, Like, seriously, if you're looking to

1043
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 2: answer an email for me after five o'clock, I'm not answering, Like,

1044
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 2: I have boundaries, and I love that my life kind

1045
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 2: of mirrors that conventional work life. But that was a

1046
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 2: goal that Jackie and I like set because this line

1047
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 2: of work, well, yes, it can be very lucrative. It

1048
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 2: is kind of nuts, and it can be a little unstable.

1049
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 2: You have a month where you get a ton of

1050
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 2: work in a month where you don't get So it

1051
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 2: was fun for a girl who was twenty one, but

1052
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 2: I knew it wasn't going to be like a sustainable

1053
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 2: way to live. But the funny thing is that I

1054
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 2: think there's like a large, you know, misconception that like

1055
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 2: I work an hour a day. People are always saying

1056
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 2: that to me, Like it's like when you say someone

1057
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 2: from SNL works an hour a week, Like, well, no,

1058
00:43:58,239 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: you see them an hour a week. You see me

1059
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: one hour day on the show. But there's so much

1060
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 2: that goes into running a show of that size. And

1061
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 2: also it's not the only thing that I do. I'm

1062
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 2: not bothered so much that people think I don't work

1063
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 2: like whatever, you know, Like, sorry, you're dumb, you don't

1064
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 2: know how the industry works, Like, bitch, I work hard. Okay.

1065
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a real drug?

1066
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Okay, so yes, Like in the sense

1067
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 2: that throughout high school and like summer's in high school,

1068
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 2: I was a camp counselor. I worked at a toy

1069
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 2: store by the when I went to college, All through

1070
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,760
Speaker 2: four years of college, I worked a had an internship,

1071
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: like a paid five day a week internship at a

1072
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 2: media company. It was an internship, but it was structured

1073
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 2: at like a corporate job. So yes, I did work

1074
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 2: in a corporate office for four years, never like full

1075
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 2: full time because I was part time student And it

1076
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: probably would have worked at that media company postgrad if

1077
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 2: I didn't decide to become a full time content creator.

1078
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: So like yes and no, Yeah, what did you learn

1079
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: from the toy store? The intenship that.

1080
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 2: Work toy store was not for fucking me. Like, seriously,

1081
00:44:56,160 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 2: gift wrapping is hell on Earth. I still can't do it,

1082
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,359
Speaker 2: And honestly, when anybody asked me to wrap a gift,

1083
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 2: I actually have trauma from that fucking store. Really yeah,

1084
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 2: it was horrible, like that stupid gift wrapping section, Like

1085
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 2: no matter how many times somebody showed me how to

1086
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 2: do it, like I could not fucking do it.

1087
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: Here, I am trying to make this amazing point that

1088
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: you guys, am, your point, just this idea that maybe

1089
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,399
Speaker 1: you picked up all these really cool skills that help

1090
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 1: you in your career today.

1091
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 2: That actually I will say, like we'll get a toy

1092
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 2: story like having to talk to strangers like who you

1093
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 2: don't know, and like pretend like you know what you're

1094
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 2: talking about. That builds character, That builds actually like a

1095
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 2: great personable vibe in the corporate space. I don't feel

1096
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 2: like I learned much, honestly. I I liked the free

1097
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 2: lunch like it was amazing. It was one of those

1098
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 2: big companies that gives you free lunch, and there were

1099
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: snacks everywhere, like free snacks. I was always eating goldfish

1100
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 2: and m and ms, and I liked I don't know.

1101
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 2: Actually my sisters worked at the same company. It was

1102
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: this huge company with like different media companies within it,

1103
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 2: so they all work at different companies, so we all

1104
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 2: have lunch together. I have very fond memories of that time.

1105
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 2: And I think it's a good corporate like media especially

1106
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 2: that's like a lot of women. It's it's a good

1107
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 2: environment to learn how to talk to people, learn how

1108
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 2: to deal with like workplace antics and people's personalities. And

1109
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 2: sometimes I do miss like I think there's a lot

1110
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: of stability that comes with the corporate job, especially when

1111
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 2: you're thinking about like motherhood. I mean some of these

1112
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 2: bitches over here with there's six months paid maternity leave,

1113
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 2: like that is a joy, and they're a corporate health insurance.

1114
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 2: There are a lot of things about like what people

1115
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 2: consider a boring corporate life that actually is somebody without

1116
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:27,920
Speaker 2: a lot of like without a lot of that I'm

1117
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 2: very envious of, especially when I'm like entering this phase

1118
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 2: of my life, like me and my husband both have

1119
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 2: our own companies, Like we don't have maternity leave. We

1120
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 2: leave and the company suffers. Do you know what I mean?

1121
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: There's no built in we have our own two person

1122
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 2: health insurance. It's expensive and it sucks, okay, Like people,

1123
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 2: there is a little bit of that privilege from the

1124
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 2: corporate life. And I know people who are in corporate

1125
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 2: would look at someone like me and be like, oh,

1126
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 2: I always wanted to be my own boss and it's great,

1127
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 2: but you know, there's no insurance. Yeah, there is a

1128
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. And I feel like I'm only as

1129
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 2: I get older appreciating the prose of that sort of

1130
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,439
Speaker 2: what people would say more stereotypically boring life.

1131
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that stigma needs to go as well.

1132
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: I think that there was this whole cultural shift towards entrepreneurship.

1133
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: Quit your job, build your passion, and it's like, I

1134
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: don't think either is for everyone, and I think we've

1135
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 1: kind of made.

1136
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 2: Like we've put we've put more value on the latter,

1137
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 2: the entrepreneurship. But to be clear, I feel like we

1138
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 2: did people of disservice when we did that, because there

1139
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 2: is something lovely about a boring job that doesn't keep

1140
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 2: you up all night, that you can set boundaries with

1141
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 2: that pace, that makes that pace your bills and you

1142
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 2: don't own it. You don't overrun the company if things

1143
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 2: are going south. That's literally not my problem. Like there

1144
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 2: is a piece in that. Yeah, Now you don't have

1145
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 2: as much creative control. Who cares?

1146
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also just like I think about this very often,

1147
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: like I couldn't do anything without my team. My team

1148
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: are all employed, right, and it's like I couldn't last

1149
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: without them.

1150
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 2: So it's not like one of the best parts though

1151
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 2: it's amazing being a business owner. It is like other

1152
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 2: people making their living from you.

1153
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 1: I love it. It's the best feeling in the World's

1154
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: the craziest feeling. Yeah, it's the most fulfilling feeling. And

1155
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 1: I know I couldn't do anything without them, which is

1156
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 1: why I value I'm like, oh, we going to push

1157
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 1: entrepreneurship real, right, but it's like what would we do

1158
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:09,879
Speaker 1: without our amazing team members? Like I know I wouldn't survive.

1159
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 1: My chief of staff was like unwealth for like a week,

1160
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I was like, I don't

1161
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: know what to do right?

1162
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 2: That toxic like hustle culture entrepreneurshi I'm not a fan of.

1163
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, But was there ever a time you had to

1164
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: do it? Was there every time you did have to

1165
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 1: work twenty four seven.

1166
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 2: Before when when things started to really blow up for me?

1167
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 2: But it wasn't this like standardized economy like it is now,

1168
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: Like there's a formula you blow up on Instagram, you

1169
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: get an agent, you get a manager, you get a

1170
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 2: rate card, you get a media kit. Like No, that

1171
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 2: was like not the case for me. So when things

1172
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 2: started to work really quickly, I was doing all my

1173
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 2: own deals. I did not have a publicist, I did

1174
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: not have a manager, I did not have an agent,

1175
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 2: I didn't have an assistant. It was literally just me

1176
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 2: and it was manageable because it was my full time job.

1177
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,800
Speaker 2: But I don't know shit about fuck, Like I'm literally

1178
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 2: seventeen like somebody else. So I was just kind of

1179
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 2: making it up as I went, and I think people

1180
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,720
Speaker 2: really underestimated me because I was advocating on my own behalf.

1181
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 2: I was eighteen. I'm much better now, but I used

1182
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: to have like a really thick, long Island accent, and

1183
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 2: I was just like every other word out of my

1184
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 2: mouth is like and totally and it's not necessarily giving you,

1185
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 2: you know, business woman. So I would get underestimated a lot.

1186
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 2: And it was a unique time. Now the girlies and boys,

1187
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 2: but mostly girlies who end up doing what I do

1188
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 2: now it's kind of all set up for them. But

1189
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 2: at the time, it wasn't a thing people like a

1190
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 2: brand would reach out and based on like if it

1191
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 2: was a brand I heard. I'm like, one of the

1192
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 2: first brands I ever worked with was Burger King and

1193
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 2: they're like, how much would you want to And I

1194
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 2: was like a thousand dollars and they were like okay,

1195
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 2: and I was like, bitch, a thousand dollars. I about

1196
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 2: a purse, I was like, and then I forgot like

1197
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 2: I had to pay taxes, but whatever. And that's another thing,

1198
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 2: by the way, when you do this line of work

1199
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 2: and nobody teaches you how to do your taxes, not

1200
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 2: me getting a bill from the government, like in twenty

1201
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 2: eighteen for like one hundred thousand dollars to pay taxes. Yeah,

1202
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 2: and my biggest fear is going to jail. But yeah,

1203
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 2: that's another thing they don't tell you. Nobody teaches you.

1204
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 2: You kind of just have to learn along the way.

1205
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 2: Now I feel like it's pretty set up where if

1206
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 2: you join this line of work, there are certain business

1207
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 2: managers and accounts who know how to do this. But

1208
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 2: at the time when I was getting started, it was like, girl,

1209
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 2: you're on your own. Good luck.

1210
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 1: Have you ever been close to going to jail? No?

1211
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 2: No, if only I was that interesting. Like when I

1212
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 2: was I senior in high school, I went to go

1213
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,439
Speaker 2: visit my sister Jackie at college and it was a flight,

1214
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 2: so I packed up my things. I didn't have a

1215
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 2: group in Manhattan, so I didn't have a license at

1216
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 2: the time, which used to make traveling really hard because

1217
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 2: I didn't have any form of identification. I used to

1218
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 2: give them a high school idea. They're like, this is

1219
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 2: not legally admissible, so I'd be like, I don't have

1220
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 2: a license. Sorry, I'm literally seventeen and I don't have

1221
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 2: a driver. I don't have a driver's license, and for

1222
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 2: some reason, they pulled my bag and they were going

1223
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 2: through my wallet and they found my fake ID and

1224
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 2: they were like, I thought you didn't have Now now

1225
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 2: I realized they were like doing this to scare me,

1226
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 2: but at the time, I thought I was really going

1227
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 2: to jail. They brought a cop out. She wants to

1228
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:45,359
Speaker 2: call my parents. She's swiping my hands. You know when

1229
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 2: you ever get like that, and they're like, you tested

1230
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 2: positive for explosives. I'm like, bitch, what are you talking about.

1231
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 2: I'm literally high school student.

1232
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 1: Wait, how do you test positive?

1233
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean I had gotten a mad

1234
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 2: a cure, so I imagine there was like some chemicals

1235
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 2: on my hands. But it was so they were really

1236
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,839
Speaker 2: trying to scare me, and this police officer was like, listen,

1237
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 2: I think you're a good kid. I'm gonna let you go.

1238
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 2: And I ran for my fucking life. I was so afraid,

1239
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 2: but I was never I didn't break the law. I

1240
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 2: didn't say that. This was my idea. It could have

1241
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:12,399
Speaker 2: been my cousin Sandra, Like. It was the scared, most

1242
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 2: scared I've ever been in my life, and probably the

1243
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 2: closest I've ever gotten to go into jail, which is

1244
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 2: like not that close.

1245
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 1: Still, it was scary.

1246
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 2: It was scary. And let it be a lesson to

1247
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:23,799
Speaker 2: any of the miners listening, like, put your fake ID

1248
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 2: in your check bag.

1249
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 1: Got it, Yeah, put your fake idea in say bag.

1250
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 2: Don't say I never touch anything.

1251
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: What advice would you have, like you were saying, like

1252
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 1: it seems like and I agree with you, there is

1253
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:35,800
Speaker 1: more set up. We kind of yeah, I think our careers.

1254
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 1: Actually we didn't know each other then, but they took

1255
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 1: off her on the same time. I was twenty sixteen

1256
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: years oh yeah, I was a little older. I was

1257
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: twenty eight, oh yeah, twenty seven, twenty eight.

1258
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 2: So we had like a pretty good idea of the world.

1259
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,399
Speaker 1: To some degree for sure. I mean I never knew

1260
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 1: a person. I'd never known anyone who worked in entertainment,

1261
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 1: anyone who'd worked in media, anyone who'd done outside anything

1262
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 1: outside of London. So it was a whole new world

1263
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: for me completely. But you're right, there are more systems

1264
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 1: today than they were then. What advice would you have

1265
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,399
Speaker 1: for people who are at the age you were when

1266
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: you first blew up, like seventeen eighteen years old, because

1267
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: that's happening more and more now, Yeah, you were more

1268
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: of an anomaly.

1269
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 2: Yes, that's now I'm old in the space. Yeah. I

1270
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:20,000
Speaker 2: have two A really hardcore piece. Yeah, I mean you're ancient. Sorry.

1271
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 2: I have two extremely important pieces of advice if you

1272
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,879
Speaker 2: find yourself wanting to get into this line of work,

1273
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 2: Like I don't care who you are, where you're from,

1274
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 2: what you've done. Delete all your old social media posts,

1275
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 2: like none of it is gonna age. Well, it's gonna

1276
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 2: come back to buy you and they ask, and it's

1277
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 2: gonna ruin your life. Like if I had to go

1278
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 2: through what I went through, Like everybody found my old

1279
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 2: tweets and they were like, oh r, she's fucking crazy.

1280
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 2: Delete your tweets. I ca't believe people are still having

1281
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 2: their tweets. Girl, Delete your tweets, like stop. That's the

1282
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 2: first second of all is every dollar you make, put

1283
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,360
Speaker 2: fifty cents in a savings account for your taxes because

1284
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 2: that's depending on where you live. Like, that's what it is.

1285
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,919
Speaker 2: It's half. And the good thing is sometimes you save

1286
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 2: too much and then you get a little left over.

1287
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 2: But just know, if somebody pays you one hundred dollars,

1288
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 2: you got fifty.

1289
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, very pragmatic advice.

1290
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 2: Well as if her in my life, like when when

1291
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 2: before I had a business manager, trying to do my

1292
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 2: own taxes with like an old school accountant who, like

1293
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 2: I think I got from like a family member. They

1294
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 2: had no idea what I did for a living, and

1295
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 2: so I was underpaying, I was under reporting. I was

1296
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 2: not getting any like ten ninety nine from the brands

1297
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,400
Speaker 2: that I work with. It was such a mess. It

1298
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,439
Speaker 2: was the wild wild West, so much so that years

1299
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 2: later I got that huge bill and it was like

1300
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 2: the worst thing to ever happen to me. I almost

1301
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 2: had to go on a payment plan with the government,

1302
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 2: Like it was so crazy. And I think that happens

1303
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 2: a lot in entertainment, especially just like new wave of

1304
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 2: social media entertainers. So finding an accountant, a business manager,

1305
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 2: or teaching yourself, that's fine. But as long as you're

1306
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 2: putting away half of what you make for taxes, like

1307
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:38,879
Speaker 2: you're safe.

1308
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Don't you think it's incredible how much you've learned

1309
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 1: in the last day years.

1310
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,280
Speaker 2: Yes, Sometimes I go back and read my old emails

1311
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 2: of like me like talking to people, and I'm like, girl,

1312
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 2: that's the worst email ever. But it's like so cool

1313
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 2: to see how different I speak now and how i'm

1314
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,800
Speaker 2: I think a lot smarter and able to advocate on

1315
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 2: my own behalf, and the little girl sending those emails

1316
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 2: work out like that's who I am.

1317
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's big. Did you ever pretend to be owned manager?

1318
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 2: As the name Rebecca? I was always pretending to be

1319
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 2: my own assistant, like trying to get dinner reservations, trying

1320
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 2: to set up calls a cloud is available. I mean,

1321
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 2: while it's like literally mein and it worked.

1322
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 1: It worked. They negotiating your behalf sometimes.

1323
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 2: Well, I actually was always negotiating on my own behalf.

1324
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 2: And because I always found that, like so many of

1325
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 2: the girls who worked at media companies worked at agencies,

1326
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 2: these account managers were followers of mine, were listeners to

1327
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 2: the toast, and that's always worked on my own behalf. Actually,

1328
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 2: I think like a huge demographic of my following is

1329
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 2: media girls, girls who who work at brands, who work

1330
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 2: at agencies, And so it's always kind of benefited me

1331
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 2: to lead with me because they're excited to work and

1332
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,320
Speaker 2: they want to make it work. And look, it's charny.

1333
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,920
Speaker 1: On the other line, if someone wants to be the

1334
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: next to you and start the toast, and you know,

1335
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:48,439
Speaker 1: start their.

1336
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: Virtual don't everybody's set the toast isn't off.

1337
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 1: What advice would you have for someone who's listening to you,

1338
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: watching you going, I want to build that, I want

1339
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,280
Speaker 1: to create that. Where where should they start work? Should

1340
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:00,839
Speaker 1: they think about? Well?

1341
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 2: I would just get started. I think a lot of

1342
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 2: people are always talking about they're like making strategy plans

1343
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 2: and outlines for projects. Just get the project up and running.

1344
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 2: You can record a podcast on your phone. The voice

1345
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 2: Memo app actually is very high quality audio. It's good

1346
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 2: enough for a starting podcast. Then you can start to

1347
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 2: make money, invest in the sure microphones that everybody has.

1348
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 2: But before then, like, just get started. People are always

1349
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 2: like throwing launch parties for things that don't exist yet, like, just.

1350
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:24,320
Speaker 1: Get to work, do it, yeah, don't don't overthink it.

1351
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 3: No.

1352
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: And it's also like it's a podcast, Okay, it's not

1353
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 2: like the nuclear program. It's just just talk.

1354
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:30,719
Speaker 1: What's the new?

1355
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1356
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1357
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 2: I was trying to sound smart. I didn't think of anything.

1358
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 1: No, I love it. I couldn't agree with you more

1359
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,879
Speaker 1: as well. I think there's just such a I feel

1360
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 1: like we're all stifling ourselves by procrastinating.

1361
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: And we're afraid of being judged. Right, we want to

1362
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 2: put something out that's perfect, but it's like, you don't

1363
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 2: get far without people making fun of you. Like I'm

1364
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 2: sure my old posts used to get sent around my

1365
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 2: high school like, oh my god, look what Quauda is doing. Cringe, cringe, crns. Well,

1366
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 2: it's not so cringe anymore, like girl, because I'm successful

1367
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 2: and you're not. But you have that's just part if

1368
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,839
Speaker 2: you if you can't take being mocked, like I wish

1369
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 2: that weren't the case because people are cruel and it

1370
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 2: is what it is. And think about how you talk

1371
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 2: to your friends about people on social media. So someone's

1372
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 2: going to talk about you like that and you have

1373
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 2: to be okay with that.

1374
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you lose any friends along the way.

1375
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,319
Speaker 2: No, Actually, I've always been really good. I've never been

1376
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 2: that girl with like a thousand friends. I've always had

1377
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 2: like five really good friends and they're the same friends

1378
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 2: I love. I love that too. There I have like

1379
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 2: the best friends. But you know, you do notice people

1380
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 2: treating you differently, like peripherally, and whenever anybody like started

1381
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 2: being extra nice or whatever. I always accepted it, like, sure,

1382
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 2: you want to come to your Hampton's house, I'll be there.

1383
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 2: But you know, you got to keep note of people

1384
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 2: who only started acting that way at a certain time

1385
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 2: in your life.

1386
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah you have.

1387
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, there is definitely that switch. And and yeah I'm

1388
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 1: the same as you have all my same friends from

1389
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 1: back in the day. I can't I literally fly to

1390
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 1: London tonight to see everyone looking forward to just yeah,

1391
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 1: just catching up, kicking it. And it's it's one of

1392
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 1: those things that I've also fortunate that I had such

1393
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 1: a good group of friends right before everything took off.

1394
00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 1: You must feel like with Ben too, because it was

1395
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,359
Speaker 1: around the same time.

1396
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 2: So I was like, yeah, I guess I met Ben

1397
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,919
Speaker 2: freshman year and freshman years also when I started my blog.

1398
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:08,719
Speaker 2: I don't think it really took off till a year later,

1399
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 2: but he's been there since the very beginning.

1400
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, how much do you think that?

1401
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 2: That's a good question. But I often like thank the

1402
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 2: Lord that I don't have to date at all period,

1403
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 2: because I think dating end this day and age is horrible.

1404
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 2: But also like with my weird job, like I think

1405
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 2: it would just I wouldn't even know how to explain

1406
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 2: it to people, and like I would just feel so

1407
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:27,440
Speaker 2: like awkward and embarrassed. So I'm like grateful for that.

1408
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 2: But again, I think having this really stable force in

1409
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 2: my life in Ben when it came to when it

1410
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: came to like you know, how I felt about myself,

1411
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 2: how I felt about my job, Like I think stability

1412
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 2: is so beneficial when you're trying to build a business

1413
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 2: and like having someone to come home to and having

1414
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 2: a very stable personal life. I think it allowed me

1415
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 2: to be a little nutty in different areas of my life,

1416
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 2: like my job, because I didn't have to worry that

1417
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 2: I was going to come home and it would be chaos,

1418
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 2: Like Ben was always there, just how was your day?

1419
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's what it is. You just hit

1420
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 1: the nail on the head. I think there's certain stages

1421
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 1: in life where you go if I decide this, it

1422
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 1: now no longer takes up any space. I felt that

1423
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 1: way about getting married. I felt that way about deciding

1424
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 1: which city we were going to live, because when we

1425
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 1: first moved to the States, we lived in New York

1426
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 1: for two years, then we moved to la We've been

1427
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 1: there for six years. When we decided we were living

1428
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 1: in LA and we got our place. It was like

1429
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: another thing at there was a settled that freed up space.

1430
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 1: And I think we're currently living at a time where

1431
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: we struggle to make decisions, yes, because we don't want

1432
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 1: to kind of you know, put our roots down, but

1433
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 1: actually that creates more chaos in our lives.

1434
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 2: One thousand percent. And I think we also live in

1435
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 2: a culture that values that's sort of like wonderless do

1436
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 2: I live in my car and I don't care, I

1437
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 2: don't have a job. Well, I like a little bit structure,

1438
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 2: a little bit boring, a little bit settled. I think

1439
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 2: that's me getting older. But I also think it's just

1440
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 2: like there's value in also leading a very sort of ordinary.

1441
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 2: That's one of my sister's favorite quotes. And I forget

1442
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, being ordinary in your personal life

1443
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 2: so you can be violent in your creative or artistic life,

1444
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 2: because it's like you can't have a million balls in

1445
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 2: the air at one time. But so to have a

1446
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: very I don't want to say regular because I feel

1447
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 2: like that as a negative connotation, but like a very peaceful,

1448
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 2: very settled private life, it really does allow you to

1449
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 2: you know, for me, it's my work for anyone, it

1450
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 2: could be something else, just to like, I don't know,

1451
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 2: fuck shit up.

1452
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 1: You know what's the hardest part about working with family

1453
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 1: and what's there?

1454
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 2: Is it?

1455
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 1: One? Really?

1456
00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? I know, And I'm unique in that. I think

1457
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 2: some people have different family issues. I could never I mean,

1458
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,120
Speaker 2: look at how many female podcasting duos that it's every

1459
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 2: day we're talking about another one breaking up. Me and

1460
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 2: Jackie will be podcasting to the day that we die,

1461
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 2: like we are bound by blood. She's the only person

1462
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 2: I can really talk to honestly. Like, I think a

1463
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 2: lot of people think I'm very confrontational because I'm loud

1464
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 2: and like a little aggressive, but actually, like if I

1465
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 2: have a problem with you, I'll just start crying. Like

1466
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 2: I cannot talk to people except my sister. I could

1467
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 2: say whatever I want and it just like I don't

1468
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 2: have a single complaint about working with family.

1469
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Yeah, I know, I know. I love that

1470
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 1: me too.

1471
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 2: To some people, they're like so confused by it. For me,

1472
00:59:58,640 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have it any other way.

1473
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 1: No, I love that. For you. I'm glad. I mean,

1474
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,919
Speaker 1: it's it's the best thing when it works.

1475
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, And I know, I'm special and lucky that

1476
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 2: it does work.

1477
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 1: How is your relationship had to change? Like, what's it

1478
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 1: meant to keep that up? Like what have you had

1479
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: to do in order to have a sister relationship and

1480
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: a business partner relationship because or all your conversations always

1481
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 1: about the podcast.

1482
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's so intertwined. But interestingly enough, when

1483
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 2: Jackie and I were growing up, were four sisters total

1484
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 2: from top to bottom, Like there's six years between us,

1485
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 2: so we're all really tight, and we were all really

1486
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 2: tight growing up. You know, there were different dynamics as

1487
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 2: we got older, Like in the beginning, it was always

1488
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 2: the two older sisters and the two younger sisters, Me

1489
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 2: and Margot, Like we were just sort of divided by age,

1490
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 2: and Olivia and Jackie would like leave us out, and

1491
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 2: me and Margaret were just like sharing a room, so

1492
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 2: we were like, Okay, whatever, I guess it's just us.

1493
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 2: And then as we got older, my interest started to

1494
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 2: align a lot more with Olivia's, and then Jackie and

1495
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 2: Margo became like really similar and really close to the

1496
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 2: dynamics of what we shifted. But the dynamics when we

1497
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 2: were kids were never Jackie and I we actually probably

1498
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 2: got along the least. We didn't fight, we didn't hate

1499
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:59,960
Speaker 2: each other, We just were not drawn to one another.

1500
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 2: So I would say we were probably the least close

1501
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 2: out of all four. Not that we had issues, but

1502
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 2: we were just not I don't think we understood each other.

1503
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 2: Jackie's very reserved, Jackie's very quiet but not shy quiet. Me,

1504
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 2: I'm spreading my legs for everybody. I'm like, what's up?

1505
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 2: Who you want to talk to you? Let's go here,

1506
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 2: let's go there. So I think that I thought she was, like,

1507
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:21,560
Speaker 2: you know, weird, and she thought I was weird. We

1508
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 2: didn't understand one another, and then when we started to

1509
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,880
Speaker 2: work together, our differences ended up, you know, working in

1510
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 2: our favor. It made the conversations on the podcast more dynamic,

1511
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 2: and we just very naturally became so close through work.

1512
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 2: But also we were talking all the time, you know.

1513
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 1: So wait, when you're when you're putting on an episode,

1514
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 1: how much of it have you talked about before? Zero zero?

1515
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 1: Literally zero zero.

1516
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 2: Every single episode is completely off the cuff.

1517
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 1: Everything about it.

1518
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:50,160
Speaker 2: We have like five topics that we need to hit

1519
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 2: every day, whatever the news of the day is, but

1520
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 2: everything else is completely off the cuff, like we've never

1521
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 2: once had a converse. And sometimes we used to sit

1522
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 2: on FaceTime for like an hour before we would start

1523
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 2: recording to get set up. We would just end up talking.

1524
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 2: And we actually felt like it was ruining that the show.

1525
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 2: She calls me a ten thirty, we start recording a

1526
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,640
Speaker 2: ten thirty one, like we do not because we don't

1527
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 2: want to waste any of the it's we will never

1528
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 2: recreate a conversation that's so fake, like we just go

1529
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 2: for it.

1530
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 1: That's amazing. So that way, you're really catching up in

1531
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 1: that time too, exactly, you're avoiding talking the night before exactly,

1532
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 1: you're saying what you did.

1533
01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 2: She lives in a different state, so we have a

1534
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 2: lot to catch up on.

1535
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 1: How when did she move? And that when did you

1536
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 1: guys she moved?

1537
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 2: I think twenty twenty one. And I was like, okay,

1538
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 2: it's the end of the show, Like, well, we'll do

1539
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 2: remote but who the hell wants listened to remote podcasters?

1540
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,880
Speaker 2: Like it's so covidy and it sucks. And I knew

1541
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:38,000
Speaker 2: that it was the beginning of the end, and I

1542
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 2: was freaking a little bit. And let me tell you,

1543
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 2: it's the best thing to ever happen to us. One,

1544
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:46,240
Speaker 2: because of COVID, we were forced to really invest in

1545
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:50,120
Speaker 2: the tech, so there's actually no delay, there's no lag.

1546
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 2: A lot of people don't know that we live in

1547
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 2: separate states, so I think a lot of times people

1548
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 2: are shocked to find out that Jackie doesn't live in

1549
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 2: New York anymore, which makes me so happy. And Two,

1550
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,880
Speaker 2: a little bit of the distance physically has benefited us

1551
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 2: greatly because we're no longer on top of each other

1552
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: and we get to, like you say, have these natural

1553
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 2: catch up conversations that we might not be having if

1554
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:12,960
Speaker 2: she lived down the block for me, which she did

1555
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 2: for many years. So it's actually been the best thing

1556
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 2: to happen to the show. And I thought it was

1557
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 2: going to be like the beginning of the end.

1558
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 1: What makes you feel like when you've recorded a great episode?

1559
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 2: How do you know, Oh my god, when we just

1560
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 2: a laugh laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, Like sometimes we are

1561
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:27,880
Speaker 2: just so silly that I don't even think we're speaking

1562
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 2: English anymore. Like it's just that sisterly thing where you

1563
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,439
Speaker 2: can really only act so nuts with your sister. Those

1564
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 2: are the best episodes, like true belly laughs.

1565
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that is something you can only do with

1566
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 1: someone you know very exactly, very well exactly, and do

1567
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:41,600
Speaker 1: you guys call it so there afterwards and like, oh

1568
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 1: my god, you are so funny.

1569
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:47,360
Speaker 2: That's a good question. Now, actually it's so routine to us. Yeah,

1570
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 2: that's kind of sad. We should be like listen, that

1571
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 2: was so funny. Now we don't do that, but.

1572
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:56,160
Speaker 1: It kind of protects why that hour is so good. Yes, right,

1573
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: like that's the.

1574
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:59,600
Speaker 2: Point and we're not trying so hard, like we're just talking.

1575
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 1: That's it's such a special skill. It's actually such a

1576
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 1: special talent.

1577
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 2: I agree that podcasting is a skill and it's a

1578
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 2: talent because I think every I mean, the running joke

1579
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 2: is like, you know, everybody has a podcast. Not everybody should,

1580
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:12,640
Speaker 2: but there are a lot of failed podcasts, and I

1581
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 2: think that a lot of people think like, yeah, I

1582
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:17,040
Speaker 2: could talk for an hour a week. I actually don't

1583
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 2: think you could. It is an art, especially with a

1584
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 2: co host, especially as an interviewer, when to talk, when

1585
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 2: to listen, when to stop, and so a lot of

1586
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 2: people don't possess that skill. And I appreciate you saying

1587
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 2: that because it's definitely a skill the same way like

1588
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 2: you know, any other job is a skill. Like if

1589
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 2: you're a mathematician, you know you need a certain set

1590
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,840
Speaker 2: of skills, and podcasting definitely requires that too.

1591
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I just like to point it out because

1592
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 1: I think we just it is that I have so

1593
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,480
Speaker 1: many friends who just like I remember when when I

1594
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: first started creating content, and my friends like, oh, we

1595
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 1: can do that, and then it was like this whole

1596
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: journey where everyone realizes that it's different. And I think

1597
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:53,320
Speaker 1: with you, because it's so natural and because it's so

1598
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:55,880
Speaker 1: off the cough, it can often be you can kind

1599
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 1: of be like, oh, yeah, well that's whatever, but it's

1600
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:00,360
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, there's there's a real time, there's

1601
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,480
Speaker 1: a skill there. How much have you practiced over the

1602
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 1: years or was this who you were at school with

1603
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:09,439
Speaker 1: your friends? Like is this just who you've been? Where

1604
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 1: was the training, where were the reps?

1605
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 2: It's this is always who I've been, like very like

1606
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:17,000
Speaker 2: leading with like, I've always loved attention, I've always loved

1607
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:19,200
Speaker 2: to talk. I've always loved to make people laugh. But

1608
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:22,040
Speaker 2: I do think that I have practiced and rehearsed a

1609
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:25,360
Speaker 2: little bit in recent years. Just knowing when to listen.

1610
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,160
Speaker 2: That's always been my that's the biggest critique people have

1611
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 2: of me on the show, and they're totally valid in

1612
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:31,919
Speaker 2: that I never let my sister talk. I talk over people.

1613
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 2: I'm sure I've done it to you. I'm so sorry,

1614
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:36,360
Speaker 2: like and I'm really trying. It's one of my worst

1615
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 2: skills personally and professionally. I do it at a dinner party.

1616
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 2: It's so annoying and like when other people do and

1617
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:42,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my gosh, she didn't shut up, and

1618
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:45,200
Speaker 2: people are like, bitch, that's you. So I am working

1619
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,480
Speaker 2: on that. I used to be much worse. So it's

1620
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 2: a work in progress. But it's important to know, like

1621
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 2: your skills, but it's also important to know what you're

1622
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:52,760
Speaker 2: not good at. And I know that I'm not good

1623
01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 2: at knowing when it's my time to listen, Like.

1624
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 1: Right now, have you ever measured how fast you talk?

1625
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:02,000
Speaker 3: No?

1626
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 2: But I know it's insane. And if you see that insane.

1627
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 2: I used to talk so.

1628
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 1: Much that it's funny because me and you, I'm at

1629
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 1: the opposite end, like I usually talk so slowly.

1630
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:10,200
Speaker 2: Are you're very measured?

1631
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 1: Yeah? I knownice. It's so funny because when we're together,

1632
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:15,280
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm speeding up slightly just to yeah,

1633
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 1: I need you.

1634
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 2: To listen to episodes of The Toast from like twenty nineteen.

1635
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 2: I used to swallow full paragraphs like I don't even

1636
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:21,960
Speaker 2: know what I was saying. You think it's fast now

1637
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 2: to me, this is me being so much better.

1638
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 1: It's amazing.

1639
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:27,080
Speaker 2: It used to be really bad.

1640
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 1: It's amazing. Have you you talked about their like wanting attention,

1641
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 1: and I think anyone is doing something publicly naturally there

1642
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 1: is a part of them that enjoys the attention, enjoys.

1643
01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:39,760
Speaker 1: I always say, like, I love when people come up

1644
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:41,720
Speaker 1: to me on the street and say hello. I tell

1645
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:43,560
Speaker 1: people in the podcast to say, hey, if you see me,

1646
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 1: come and say hello, I want to say hello to you.

1647
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 1: I really appreciate the feedback and the energy I get.

1648
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:51,840
Speaker 1: I had a I was walking a few years ago,

1649
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 1: now quite a while ago with one of my clients

1650
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 1: who's a well known actor. He gets recognized a hundred

1651
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 1: times for every one time I get recognized, so super

1652
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 1: well known and successful, and like he'd get stopped. I'd

1653
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 1: get stopped once, He'd get stopped multiple times. I'd get

1654
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 1: stopped once, And I asked him, like, how does that

1655
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 1: feel and he said, you know what, he goes, Jay,

1656
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 1: You're really lucky and I was like why and he said,

1657
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,640
Speaker 1: you're lucky because people stop me for who I pretend

1658
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:16,560
Speaker 1: to be, and people stop you for who you are.

1659
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:19,200
Speaker 1: And I was like wow, Like that really stayed. It

1660
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:21,760
Speaker 1: really stayed with me. Is one of those It was no,

1661
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:25,880
Speaker 1: I can't but it was not enough fun. But that's

1662
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 1: my private part.

1663
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 2: You'll tell me afterpated.

1664
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that was one of my favorite moments. It

1665
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:32,920
Speaker 1: stayed with me ever since that. I'm like, wait a

1666
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,040
Speaker 1: minute and saying with you like people when they're coming

1667
01:07:35,120 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 1: up to you and saying the toast is amazing, or

1668
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:38,439
Speaker 1: when I keep hearing Jay, we heard you on the toast.

1669
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 1: It was so fun. You know, when I get that

1670
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,960
Speaker 1: feedback from people, I'm thinking, oh, wow, like you're doing that.

1671
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 1: How have you been careful about your relationship with attention

1672
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:49,800
Speaker 1: so that it doesn't get unhealthy? How have you thought

1673
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 1: about that?

1674
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 2: You know what's so funny. The more attention you get,

1675
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 2: the less you want it. And so I think as

1676
01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:58,720
Speaker 2: somebody who was an attention whrror seeing I was an

1677
01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:01,200
Speaker 2: attention segin whore growing up my whole life to end

1678
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 2: up in a line of work where you get a

1679
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 2: lot of it. It's fulfilling for a second, and then

1680
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,720
Speaker 2: it's like enough, and I actually feel like I am

1681
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:09,960
Speaker 2: an attention or I'm actually really not so much anymore.

1682
01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 2: I like I got the attention that I wanted and

1683
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 2: it felt good, but it didn't solve all my problems

1684
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,120
Speaker 2: like I thought it was going to. So not that

1685
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:21,800
Speaker 2: anybody who's, you know, is an attention seeker should get

1686
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:23,400
Speaker 2: the attention because then it'll it's kind of a problem

1687
01:08:23,439 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 2: that fixes itself. But I'm really not. I think when

1688
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:28,560
Speaker 2: people meet me, like on the street, sometimes they're a

1689
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,880
Speaker 2: little uh taken aback. How Actually I'm not like a

1690
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,439
Speaker 2: dancing monkey, like I'm not so crazy all the time,

1691
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:38,519
Speaker 2: like making jokes something like I actually and definitely as

1692
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 2: I've gotten older, like a little bit more pulled back.

1693
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 2: You know, I'm still a little nuts more than the

1694
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 2: average person. But not, I think as much as people

1695
01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 2: would expect.

1696
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,680
Speaker 1: What part of your confidence are you still working on?

1697
01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:52,320
Speaker 2: I'm really not, honestly, Like I feel very confident in

1698
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:53,840
Speaker 2: all aspects of my life. Like I know that I'm

1699
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:55,960
Speaker 2: great at my job. I know I'm a great wife,

1700
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:58,720
Speaker 2: I know I'm literally gorgeous, Like, I don't feel like

1701
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 2: I'm lacking confidence in any area honestly.

1702
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 1: Wow.

1703
01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:04,479
Speaker 2: I have a lot of other problems though, but not that, like,

1704
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:09,280
Speaker 2: oh girl, what I again? Okay, what what I say?

1705
01:09:09,320 --> 01:09:14,360
Speaker 2: Is my biggest problem? I actually would say my biggest

1706
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:16,960
Speaker 2: problem is sometimes my humor can be mean, and I

1707
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,880
Speaker 2: think that's like the worst type of humor. And I'm

1708
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:21,160
Speaker 2: actually really working on it. Like when you poke fun

1709
01:09:21,160 --> 01:09:22,680
Speaker 2: at someone, sometimes I feel like I really take it

1710
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:24,160
Speaker 2: too far, Like it's okay to like think something and

1711
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 2: not say it, because I've noticed that a lot that

1712
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:31,120
Speaker 2: I sometimes border on mean, and I don't like being mean.

1713
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,360
Speaker 2: That's not funny to me. I think some people feel

1714
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 2: like they have to be mean in order to be funny,

1715
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:37,200
Speaker 2: and that's not true. I can be funny without being mean.

1716
01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's something you're working on, yes, Like, sometimes.

1717
01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:42,400
Speaker 2: I'll say something, I'll be like, damn, that was rough,

1718
01:09:42,479 --> 01:09:44,320
Speaker 2: you know, like, and so I'm aware of it and

1719
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 2: I'm really trying to stop. Yeah, if I will, at

1720
01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:50,080
Speaker 2: least I'm aware of it.

1721
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:55,280
Speaker 1: You love the percent evil it's fun yeah, yeah, yeah,

1722
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:58,080
Speaker 1: it's uh no that that's so beautiful to hear, I

1723
01:09:58,120 --> 01:09:59,639
Speaker 1: mean to hear you say, hey, you know what I'm

1724
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:01,479
Speaker 1: like too, really confident. I love hearing that. I love

1725
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:03,000
Speaker 1: it when someone says that because.

1726
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:03,479
Speaker 2: It's a journey.

1727
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,920
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but I mean you've not that you've arrived,

1728
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,960
Speaker 1: because there is no arrival, but the idea that you

1729
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:10,880
Speaker 1: feel that way.

1730
01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:12,519
Speaker 2: I mean that doesn't mean that like I don't see

1731
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 2: a picture of myself and like literally want to die.

1732
01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:17,160
Speaker 2: But I don't try not to place too much value

1733
01:10:17,200 --> 01:10:18,840
Speaker 2: on that because there are other parts of me that

1734
01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:22,320
Speaker 2: are worthy, probably more worthy than how I look. Yeah,

1735
01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:24,680
Speaker 2: but I am a shallow person. I do place a

1736
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:27,639
Speaker 2: lot of emphasis and value on my physical appearance.

1737
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:29,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, is that something you've ever tried to change your

1738
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:31,200
Speaker 1: shift or you've just accepted it.

1739
01:10:31,280 --> 01:10:33,760
Speaker 2: It's actually like a new thing. I think since losing weight,

1740
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:36,040
Speaker 2: I've kind of become obsessed with it. And that's like

1741
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:38,479
Speaker 2: one thing that I've gained during my weight loss journey

1742
01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:41,000
Speaker 2: that I don't like, the obsession with how I look,

1743
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 2: because before, like I knew and it looked great, so

1744
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:45,439
Speaker 2: like whatever, you know, I worked on other things. But

1745
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:46,840
Speaker 2: then I started to really like the way that I

1746
01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:49,000
Speaker 2: looked on the ozembic journey, and I kind of became

1747
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:51,479
Speaker 2: obsessed with it. Like I used to weigh myself and

1748
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:53,360
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I mean it's not great, but whatever.

1749
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 2: Then I would lose weight. And when I would weigh

1750
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:58,160
Speaker 2: myself and it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I would

1751
01:10:58,160 --> 01:10:59,680
Speaker 2: be so hard on myself and I used to not

1752
01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:02,439
Speaker 2: care about that. So that's actually something I'm working on,

1753
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 2: but with a pregnancy, like it's a problem for later may.

1754
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:06,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. Of course I can't thix everything a lot once.

1755
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:08,600
Speaker 2: I'm not shating, no, no, no.

1756
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:11,000
Speaker 1: Trust me, I can't either that. No, But it's interesting

1757
01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:13,960
Speaker 1: how sometimes the things we work on more become our

1758
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:14,759
Speaker 1: greatest stresses.

1759
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:17,120
Speaker 2: Yes, that's definitely how I feel with my weight.

1760
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:20,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's one of those things that it's But

1761
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:21,880
Speaker 1: the great thing is you're aware, and I think that's

1762
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:23,760
Speaker 1: what I always think about. I remember when Kevin Hart

1763
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:26,160
Speaker 1: came on the podcast, he was talking about how in

1764
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:28,720
Speaker 1: a very different context, but he was talking about how

1765
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:31,879
Speaker 1: like some of the mistakes he made and not comparing

1766
01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:33,000
Speaker 1: at all, but he was talking about some of the

1767
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 1: mistakes he made, and they came from a place of

1768
01:11:35,439 --> 01:11:37,840
Speaker 1: him feeling like this was never going to go away.

1769
01:11:38,439 --> 01:11:40,920
Speaker 1: And then he was like, now I need to deal

1770
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:42,640
Speaker 1: with the fact that one day I may not be

1771
01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:45,160
Speaker 1: as famous or successful as whatever. And it was just

1772
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:47,200
Speaker 1: really interesting him saying that when I still think he's

1773
01:11:47,240 --> 01:11:49,040
Speaker 1: crushing it and killing it and he's like, you.

1774
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:50,960
Speaker 2: Know, and how we perceive people versus how they perceive

1775
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,480
Speaker 2: themselves are so interesting.

1776
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:54,479
Speaker 1: Correct, Yeah, And that's what I find is always fascinating,

1777
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 1: because you think someone's peaking, yeah, and in their head

1778
01:11:58,160 --> 01:11:59,640
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, I'm insignificant right now.

1779
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:02,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, But it does not that you want people to

1780
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:05,400
Speaker 2: feel poorly about themselves, but seeing someone whom you perceive

1781
01:12:05,479 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 2: to be on top of the world talk about how

1782
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:09,679
Speaker 2: they perceive themselves and it's not necessarily like the best.

1783
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:13,760
Speaker 2: There is like solace in that. Like even people who

1784
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,200
Speaker 2: are killing it and rich and famous, like even they

1785
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:20,040
Speaker 2: hate themselves, So who cares if I do? Yeah, you know, I.

1786
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:22,439
Speaker 1: Wanted to end with talking about you know, you talked

1787
01:12:22,439 --> 01:12:25,720
Speaker 1: a lot about last year losing your dog, which I

1788
01:12:25,840 --> 01:12:28,240
Speaker 1: think no one prepares you for. Yeah. I had so

1789
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 1: many friends who sadly went through the same thing in

1790
01:12:31,439 --> 01:12:32,880
Speaker 1: the last twelve months. I don't know what it was

1791
01:12:32,920 --> 01:12:35,559
Speaker 1: about the last twelve months and maybe it's sadly always

1792
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:37,360
Speaker 1: the case, but at least in my life, I had

1793
01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,719
Speaker 1: so many people telling me that I had my business manager,

1794
01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:43,240
Speaker 1: a really close friend, like just so many people in life.

1795
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:45,280
Speaker 1: We had Taylor Hill who came on the podcast and

1796
01:12:45,360 --> 01:12:47,560
Speaker 1: talked about the loss of her dog Tait and just

1797
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:51,479
Speaker 1: how hard that was for her. What has been your

1798
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:53,719
Speaker 1: greatest lesson for grief in that journey?

1799
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:55,720
Speaker 2: So funny because you know, I lost my dad when

1800
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:57,600
Speaker 2: I was in the eighth grade or excuse me, the

1801
01:12:57,680 --> 01:12:59,439
Speaker 2: ninth grade, like literally the first month of high school,

1802
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 2: worst time ever, and it was extremely hard, and I

1803
01:13:03,439 --> 01:13:06,400
Speaker 2: actually feel like being younger, I was able to bounce

1804
01:13:06,439 --> 01:13:08,479
Speaker 2: back a little bit more. I remember going through that,

1805
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:11,560
Speaker 2: and really I had just transferred schools and then my

1806
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:12,920
Speaker 2: dad passed, and I really didn't want to be known

1807
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:14,640
Speaker 2: as like the girl with the dead dad. So I

1808
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,080
Speaker 2: remember making an active effort to get back to my life,

1809
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:18,880
Speaker 2: and I leaned so heavily into my sisters. And that's

1810
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:20,920
Speaker 2: really why my sisters and I are so close, and

1811
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,360
Speaker 2: my friends and extra school and I really and that's

1812
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:27,400
Speaker 2: just being a kid, right, You're more susceptible, you're more adaptable,

1813
01:13:27,479 --> 01:13:29,760
Speaker 2: like you just bounce back. And I've found like when

1814
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:31,880
Speaker 2: you know friends of mine now are losing parents, like

1815
01:13:31,920 --> 01:13:34,280
Speaker 2: it's so much harder. Like you're an adult, you understand

1816
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:36,040
Speaker 2: the importance of life, You have kids of your own,

1817
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:38,840
Speaker 2: and so not that it's the same at all, but

1818
01:13:38,960 --> 01:13:42,200
Speaker 2: like losing my dog at twenty nine was like the

1819
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:45,640
Speaker 2: first experience with grief as an adult, and let me

1820
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:47,920
Speaker 2: tell you, it is so much harder. And this was,

1821
01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:50,320
Speaker 2: you know, a dog, not a human being. The difference

1822
01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:54,000
Speaker 2: was and I've long wondered my dad passed away overnight,

1823
01:13:54,080 --> 01:13:55,519
Speaker 2: like he was not sick. He had a heart attack

1824
01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:57,160
Speaker 2: and he died before he even got to the hospital,

1825
01:13:57,200 --> 01:14:00,599
Speaker 2: like completely kind of freak accident. And always talk about

1826
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,120
Speaker 2: like is it better, you know, for someone to die

1827
01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:04,599
Speaker 2: like that, or to get a chance to say goodbye

1828
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,080
Speaker 2: to somebody who has like a terminal illness, But we

1829
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:08,240
Speaker 2: have to watch them suffer for months, And I feel

1830
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,000
Speaker 2: like there's no right answer. Just everybody thinks their own

1831
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:12,760
Speaker 2: and I never really knew what the answer was. But

1832
01:14:12,840 --> 01:14:16,320
Speaker 2: with THEO, he had terminal cancer and we ended up

1833
01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:18,519
Speaker 2: putting him down, but so we lived with the cancer,

1834
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:19,840
Speaker 2: I want to say, for like two or three weeks,

1835
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 2: like really not a long time. It was the worst

1836
01:14:22,439 --> 01:14:24,639
Speaker 2: time of my life, Like it was worse than when

1837
01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:27,120
Speaker 2: he actually had died. Like seeing something you someone you

1838
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 2: love so much being such pain, it's not worth being

1839
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:34,000
Speaker 2: able to say goodbye, honestly. So oddly that experience brought

1840
01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:36,280
Speaker 2: me peace with my dad, Like I like, yeah, I

1841
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:38,479
Speaker 2: didn't get to say goodbye, but like I didn't have

1842
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 2: to watch him suffer, Like that's it's definitely worse. And

1843
01:14:41,160 --> 01:14:45,400
Speaker 2: so the older I get, the actually the harder grief is.

1844
01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:47,680
Speaker 2: You know, Like I remember getting married and being like

1845
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:49,679
Speaker 2: so angry that my dad wasn't going to be there

1846
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:53,719
Speaker 2: and feeling like this was so unfair. But I hadn't

1847
01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:56,840
Speaker 2: really felt that anger up until that point. Like the

1848
01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:59,719
Speaker 2: older you get, the more important life moments, marriage, kids,

1849
01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:02,080
Speaker 2: you realize like how much you need a parent, And

1850
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:04,240
Speaker 2: so as a kid, like, yeah, okay, he's not in

1851
01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:06,160
Speaker 2: my soccer game, but like you just are. You're more

1852
01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:08,280
Speaker 2: resilient as a kid, you really are. And so going

1853
01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:11,000
Speaker 2: through grief as an adult is forty five times harder.

1854
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:12,840
Speaker 2: And that was just with my dog, you know, whom

1855
01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:14,320
Speaker 2: I loved more than anything. But a dog is not

1856
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:18,760
Speaker 2: a person. And it was the most challenging thing. I

1857
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:21,200
Speaker 2: actually don't even remember it. I blacked out that part

1858
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:23,360
Speaker 2: of my life. It's coming up on a year actually,

1859
01:15:23,439 --> 01:15:26,160
Speaker 2: like this week. It was the hardest thing I've ever

1860
01:15:26,200 --> 01:15:28,080
Speaker 2: been through in my life. Like seriously, I like, I

1861
01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:30,439
Speaker 2: can't believe. I don't even think about that time because

1862
01:15:30,479 --> 01:15:33,000
Speaker 2: it was so it was traumatizing.

1863
01:15:33,800 --> 01:15:36,160
Speaker 1: That's so profound though the connection between the two.

1864
01:15:36,160 --> 01:15:38,280
Speaker 2: I know, well it was. They were so polar opposite.

1865
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 2: It's like what I've I think I actually would have

1866
01:15:40,520 --> 01:15:43,120
Speaker 2: preferred just like to take THEO to the doctor and

1867
01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:48,760
Speaker 2: have him die, like the three weeks of diapers of

1868
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:52,479
Speaker 2: medic Oh my god. It was horrible, and I felt

1869
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:54,880
Speaker 2: like I was doing the wrong thing because you know,

1870
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:56,920
Speaker 2: it's cruel to keep a dog like that alive for

1871
01:15:57,040 --> 01:15:59,800
Speaker 2: your own they're so clearly in pain, it's the right

1872
01:15:59,840 --> 01:16:01,160
Speaker 2: thing to do to put them down, and if you're

1873
01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:03,080
Speaker 2: selfishly keeping them, And I said, I'm not going to

1874
01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:04,960
Speaker 2: do that. And so when we woke up one morning

1875
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:06,920
Speaker 2: it was so clear that he was suffering, we were like, listen,

1876
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:08,880
Speaker 2: this is cruel. We're keeping him alive for us, Like

1877
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:12,280
Speaker 2: we knew we had to do that, and with my dad,

1878
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,040
Speaker 2: like I had always felt like, oh my god, I

1879
01:16:14,080 --> 01:16:15,840
Speaker 2: never got to say goodbye. It was, you know, high

1880
01:16:15,880 --> 01:16:20,000
Speaker 2: one day by the next. But what THEO, the passing

1881
01:16:20,040 --> 01:16:22,960
Speaker 2: of THEO really taught me is like, honestly, it's better

1882
01:16:23,560 --> 01:16:23,840
Speaker 2: it is.

1883
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,760
Speaker 1: I think, what did girl with the dead dad like

1884
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:29,280
Speaker 1: mean to you? Like? What did that kind of like

1885
01:16:29,400 --> 01:16:31,200
Speaker 1: what did that symbolize for you that you didn't want

1886
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:31,800
Speaker 1: to be? You know?

1887
01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:33,599
Speaker 2: I just remember in middle school there was a girl

1888
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:37,639
Speaker 2: whose dad had died and her she was in my grade,

1889
01:16:37,640 --> 01:16:39,400
Speaker 2: and then her brother was in my sister's grade, and

1890
01:16:39,479 --> 01:16:41,120
Speaker 2: it was just kind of like the thing people said,

1891
01:16:41,240 --> 01:16:44,280
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? No, not pointing, but

1892
01:16:44,439 --> 01:16:46,840
Speaker 2: like if you overheard like another parent talking, oh didn't

1893
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:49,240
Speaker 2: did you hear? It was just kind of what you know,

1894
01:16:49,320 --> 01:16:51,519
Speaker 2: they were led with. And I didn't want that. I

1895
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:53,559
Speaker 2: wanted to be a girl who was funny, a girl

1896
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,439
Speaker 2: who was good at soccer, a girl who was beautiful,

1897
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:57,880
Speaker 2: like literally anything. I did not want to have that

1898
01:16:58,080 --> 01:16:59,559
Speaker 2: to be the thing like, oh did you hear about

1899
01:16:59,560 --> 01:17:01,599
Speaker 2: that Austray girl her father died? Like I didn't want

1900
01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:02,960
Speaker 2: that to be the first thing people said about me.

1901
01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:05,320
Speaker 2: So I remember making a conscious effort to just like

1902
01:17:05,400 --> 01:17:08,360
Speaker 2: bounce back, and it did work for for in a

1903
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:09,000
Speaker 2: period of time.

1904
01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:12,600
Speaker 1: I can't imagine how challenging it is to you know,

1905
01:17:13,040 --> 01:17:16,280
Speaker 1: be going be giving birth, having lost and then let.

1906
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,840
Speaker 2: Me tell you, it sucks. Like and I see Ben

1907
01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:20,960
Speaker 2: who has both parents, I'm so happy for him, but

1908
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:24,920
Speaker 2: I'm jealous naturally. Yeah, I don't think that's bad.

1909
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 1: No, no, of course not.

1910
01:17:26,280 --> 01:17:30,000
Speaker 2: And they're the best Ben's parents, Like his dad is

1911
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:32,920
Speaker 2: like always inviting me on Father's Day, but you know,

1912
01:17:32,920 --> 01:17:33,439
Speaker 2: a parent as.

1913
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:36,640
Speaker 1: A parent, Yeah, for sure. Thank you for sharing, thank you,

1914
01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:41,439
Speaker 1: thank you for being open. And it's I'm hoping that, Yeah,

1915
01:17:41,439 --> 01:17:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that people who have been through similar things

1916
01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:46,320
Speaker 1: or you know, I know plenty of people in my

1917
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:51,160
Speaker 1: life who lost a parent early. And it's it's something

1918
01:17:51,240 --> 01:17:53,200
Speaker 1: that's not talked about enough online, Like you don't you

1919
01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:55,240
Speaker 1: don't really hear about it. Yeah, it's kind of like

1920
01:17:55,280 --> 01:17:56,720
Speaker 1: something you talk about in therapy and nowhere else.

1921
01:17:56,840 --> 01:17:58,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like hard to talk about. Nobody wants

1922
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,200
Speaker 2: to be crying all the time. And I think that

1923
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:03,120
Speaker 2: no matter what stage of your grief that you're at,

1924
01:18:03,160 --> 01:18:05,200
Speaker 2: like you can't talk about it without crying. That doesn't

1925
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:07,840
Speaker 2: mean that you're not healed. It's just sad, like it's

1926
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,680
Speaker 2: and I don't want to be sad, Like that's my

1927
01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:12,040
Speaker 2: whole thing. Like I love being happy. I love making

1928
01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:14,280
Speaker 2: people laugh. I love laughing, Like if I'm laughing, I'm

1929
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:16,840
Speaker 2: so happy. So I hate like sit around. And that's why,

1930
01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:18,320
Speaker 2: Like I know when I talk about this on the podcast,

1931
01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:21,560
Speaker 2: people don't like it. But I don't do therapy, not

1932
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:23,519
Speaker 2: for any reason. I'm not like against it. I know

1933
01:18:23,600 --> 01:18:25,160
Speaker 2: it's really powerful for a lot of people. But I've

1934
01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:28,680
Speaker 2: never really had a hard time communicating. And I'm very

1935
01:18:28,720 --> 01:18:30,080
Speaker 2: blessed that, Like I have a lot of people in

1936
01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:34,360
Speaker 2: my life who I feel completely open and comfortable opening

1937
01:18:34,479 --> 01:18:36,560
Speaker 2: up to, and I know that's a privilege that not

1938
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:38,960
Speaker 2: a lot of people have. But I also like, I

1939
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:40,400
Speaker 2: don't know, I just don't want to spend my life

1940
01:18:40,439 --> 01:18:43,519
Speaker 2: being sad, Like the world is sad enough, Like I

1941
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:45,760
Speaker 2: wake up every day with the goal of like making

1942
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:48,360
Speaker 2: people laugh, like I like to be joyous and spread joy.

1943
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:50,360
Speaker 2: And I don't know, sitting in the therapists office for

1944
01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:52,360
Speaker 2: an hour a week like crying like oh my god,

1945
01:18:52,439 --> 01:18:53,799
Speaker 2: like seriously, I can't.

1946
01:18:53,880 --> 01:18:56,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, And I think that everyone has their

1947
01:18:56,720 --> 01:18:59,160
Speaker 1: different coping mechanisms, like you said, and for some people

1948
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 1: that is the only place they have to say space

1949
01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:04,080
Speaker 1: and a space where they don't feel judged, in a

1950
01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:07,000
Speaker 1: space where they don't feel, you know, look down a

1951
01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:09,400
Speaker 1: certain way because their family friends may be that way.

1952
01:19:09,479 --> 01:19:11,720
Speaker 1: And it's beautiful that you don't have that. I was

1953
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:14,800
Speaker 1: gonna ask you, what's been your Have you thought a

1954
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:19,320
Speaker 1: lot about like your energy, baby's energy, Like what like

1955
01:19:19,439 --> 01:19:20,120
Speaker 1: walk me through that.

1956
01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:23,639
Speaker 2: Yes, I have a lot because you know, people tell

1957
01:19:23,680 --> 01:19:26,479
Speaker 2: me that I'm kind of like a baby whisper because

1958
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:27,960
Speaker 2: I love to sing and I love to dance and

1959
01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:30,120
Speaker 2: I love to like I'm obsessed with babies and that's

1960
01:19:30,120 --> 01:19:31,720
Speaker 2: what babies love, and that's what babies need, like their

1961
01:19:31,720 --> 01:19:33,400
Speaker 2: first couple of months, always looking for somebody to sing

1962
01:19:33,479 --> 01:19:35,640
Speaker 2: and dance to them. And so that's the type of

1963
01:19:35,720 --> 01:19:38,920
Speaker 2: mom I want to be, like super joyous, super like

1964
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:42,479
Speaker 2: always singing. I don't know if you follow jesse j

1965
01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:45,880
Speaker 2: the singer on Instagram. Okay, so she had a baby

1966
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:48,400
Speaker 2: and like she's always singing to her baby on Instagram.

1967
01:19:48,479 --> 01:19:49,400
Speaker 2: Now I know she has like one of the best

1968
01:19:49,479 --> 01:19:51,680
Speaker 2: voices in the world. And I don't. But like, I'm

1969
01:19:51,720 --> 01:19:53,760
Speaker 2: gonna be Jesse j Like I'm gonna be singing to

1970
01:19:53,840 --> 01:19:55,360
Speaker 2: my baby, and my baby's gonna think I have the

1971
01:19:55,400 --> 01:19:57,320
Speaker 2: most amazing voice because my baby's gonna be my number

1972
01:19:57,320 --> 01:19:57,599
Speaker 2: one fan.

1973
01:19:57,840 --> 01:19:59,400
Speaker 1: It's gonna be so funny if they don't, Oh my.

1974
01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:01,200
Speaker 2: God, stopp so upset, like every time I saying the

1975
01:20:01,240 --> 01:20:01,959
Speaker 2: baby cries.

1976
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:03,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, well they love it till they're like four.

1977
01:20:03,800 --> 01:20:05,120
Speaker 2: Oh of course, no, I'm talking about here.

1978
01:20:05,160 --> 01:20:08,000
Speaker 1: One yeah, yeah, one, you know, one one fan for

1979
01:20:08,120 --> 01:20:10,720
Speaker 1: one year is good enough. I love that. I love that.

1980
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:12,320
Speaker 1: And have you thought about whether you're going to be

1981
01:20:12,360 --> 01:20:14,439
Speaker 1: sharing baby journey online?

1982
01:20:14,520 --> 01:20:17,200
Speaker 2: And I have thought about it. I definitely want to

1983
01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:21,559
Speaker 2: share my journey. I'm pretty against, you know, putting your

1984
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,519
Speaker 2: kids on social media. I don't judge other people who do,

1985
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:25,680
Speaker 2: but I'm not going to. And I feel like I

1986
01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:27,960
Speaker 2: see a trend of people sharing less and actually pulling

1987
01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:30,720
Speaker 2: their kids off social media because the dangers of it

1988
01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:31,679
Speaker 2: are like so obvious.

1989
01:20:31,920 --> 01:20:33,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that's something. I mean, rather they talk

1990
01:20:33,439 --> 01:20:34,439
Speaker 1: about lot like it's it.

1991
01:20:34,479 --> 01:20:35,000
Speaker 2: I would love to.

1992
01:20:35,240 --> 01:20:36,160
Speaker 1: It's one of our discussion.

1993
01:20:36,200 --> 01:20:38,160
Speaker 2: But the internet wasn't such a disgusting place. I would

1994
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:40,000
Speaker 2: love to like have fun, but no, we can't have

1995
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:41,840
Speaker 2: nice things. People are disgusting and absolutely not.

1996
01:20:42,040 --> 01:20:45,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's challenging, it's it's such a Yeah, that's that's

1997
01:20:45,920 --> 01:20:47,960
Speaker 1: the hard part, right, that's the hard part. That it's

1998
01:20:48,120 --> 01:20:51,160
Speaker 1: like in the same way as you wouldn't just put

1999
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:54,400
Speaker 1: your kid up somewhere physically in that way that they're

2000
01:20:54,479 --> 01:20:56,320
Speaker 1: exposed to anyone and everyone.

2001
01:20:56,600 --> 01:20:58,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it just actually passed that law in California

2002
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,760
Speaker 2: about like family channels, and Damilvado was a big part

2003
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:04,160
Speaker 2: of it of like just child's actors, but also child

2004
01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:07,000
Speaker 2: like family channels, like basically explaining your kids on social

2005
01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:10,120
Speaker 2: media for money. They're all still actively happening, but I

2006
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:11,559
Speaker 2: feel like in ten fifteen years, like we are going

2007
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,320
Speaker 2: to be hearing like the most craziest stories about kids

2008
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:15,200
Speaker 2: who were forced to be on like YouTube family channels.

2009
01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:18,680
Speaker 2: It's disgraceful, but it's also slippery slope. Like you know,

2010
01:21:18,760 --> 01:21:20,120
Speaker 2: like you start posting your kids and that's the most

2011
01:21:20,160 --> 01:21:21,840
Speaker 2: engaging content, so you post more and more and more,

2012
01:21:22,080 --> 01:21:23,559
Speaker 2: and then you rely on it to pay your bills.

2013
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:25,679
Speaker 2: So you're yelling at your kids to smile for the thumbnail.

2014
01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:28,120
Speaker 2: And I never want I never want to be that.

2015
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:31,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's great that you guys have sat because.

2016
01:21:31,240 --> 01:21:32,680
Speaker 2: The actually haven't even talked to Bean about it. But

2017
01:21:32,720 --> 01:21:34,400
Speaker 2: I don't care what he says, Like I love them.

2018
01:21:34,439 --> 01:21:36,679
Speaker 2: I'm sure he'll agree with me. Yeah, but we haven't

2019
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:37,880
Speaker 2: had like a full conversation about it.

2020
01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:40,320
Speaker 1: Okay, good to know. Good tonight he'll be hearing.

2021
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:41,479
Speaker 2: About this on the Jay Shatty podcast.

2022
01:21:42,439 --> 01:21:44,040
Speaker 1: Is this usually how it goes? No?

2023
01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:46,640
Speaker 2: Actually, certain things I feel really strongly about and I

2024
01:21:46,720 --> 01:21:48,720
Speaker 2: say Ben, like, this is what we're doing. Certain things

2025
01:21:48,760 --> 01:21:51,280
Speaker 2: he feels super strongly about. I'm like, Okay, sometimes we

2026
01:21:51,320 --> 01:21:52,919
Speaker 2: both don't know how to feel. And there are people

2027
01:21:52,920 --> 01:21:55,280
Speaker 2: in our life whose opinions we like respect, and we'll

2028
01:21:55,320 --> 01:21:57,320
Speaker 2: call them and ask and get their opinions. That will

2029
01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:59,320
Speaker 2: come to a decision together. It just depends on what

2030
01:21:59,439 --> 01:22:00,280
Speaker 2: the topic is, you know.

2031
01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:02,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that makes a lessonse. Yeah, if you

2032
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:04,639
Speaker 1: feel strongly enough, it's a rule.

2033
01:22:04,720 --> 01:22:06,600
Speaker 2: And yeah, and if you don't need to know, like

2034
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,960
Speaker 2: as a half of a part, like a half of

2035
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:10,840
Speaker 2: a marriage, like if there are certain things you don't

2036
01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:12,560
Speaker 2: have like strong feelings about what your partner does, like,

2037
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,560
Speaker 2: so let them have that one and then when you

2038
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,479
Speaker 2: have strong feelings about something and they don't, they will

2039
01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:18,000
Speaker 2: let you have it. Like that's the whole you know,

2040
01:22:18,439 --> 01:22:22,360
Speaker 2: stick with compromise, but also knowing when you don't know,

2041
01:22:22,560 --> 01:22:25,000
Speaker 2: like some all of this is new to me, motherhood, pregnancy,

2042
01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:28,400
Speaker 2: and so knowing that I have no experience and talking

2043
01:22:28,439 --> 01:22:30,519
Speaker 2: to people who do and if I trust them and

2044
01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:32,599
Speaker 2: I think that like their values aligned with mind taking

2045
01:22:32,640 --> 01:22:35,559
Speaker 2: their advice, but like it's important to know, like when

2046
01:22:35,600 --> 01:22:37,840
Speaker 2: you don't know enough.

2047
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:43,240
Speaker 1: Claudia, you you're one of the most fascinating people I

2048
01:22:43,240 --> 01:22:48,600
Speaker 1: ever met. You are hilarious, yes, profound today at times.

2049
01:22:48,320 --> 01:22:50,479
Speaker 2: I really don't want to cry. It is what it is.

2050
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:53,920
Speaker 1: No, I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable with

2051
01:22:54,040 --> 01:22:56,240
Speaker 1: us and showing that soft side. Yeah, you know, I

2052
01:22:56,360 --> 01:22:57,320
Speaker 1: like for people to be able.

2053
01:22:57,200 --> 01:22:58,960
Speaker 2: To see you keep it turning in a box like

2054
01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:00,200
Speaker 2: she is going to surprise you.

2055
01:23:01,120 --> 01:23:03,439
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, Clodia, it's been such a joy

2056
01:23:03,600 --> 01:23:06,240
Speaker 1: talking to you. We end every episode with a final

2057
01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:08,439
Speaker 1: five Okay, these have to be answered in one word

2058
01:23:08,960 --> 01:23:11,759
Speaker 1: to one sentence game, not a Clodia sentence.

2059
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:14,280
Speaker 2: Okay, I promise I will do one word yes, yeah, one.

2060
01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:16,799
Speaker 1: Word of one sentence. Oh okay, but not a sentence

2061
01:23:18,360 --> 01:23:22,040
Speaker 1: seventy nine walls not JA calling me out? Okay, all right, okay, yeah,

2062
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:24,400
Speaker 1: and I'm not judging you no first time. Okay. So

2063
01:23:25,080 --> 01:23:27,439
Speaker 1: question number one, what is the best advice you've ever

2064
01:23:27,520 --> 01:23:28,200
Speaker 1: heard or received?

2065
01:23:28,720 --> 01:23:31,360
Speaker 2: This isn't like, you know, a curated sentence, so I'm

2066
01:23:31,400 --> 01:23:34,240
Speaker 2: just going to like speak, And I think it's something

2067
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:36,720
Speaker 2: I've realized as I've gotten older, especially as like a

2068
01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:38,600
Speaker 2: woman in the industry, you feel really competitive with like

2069
01:23:38,640 --> 01:23:42,280
Speaker 2: other people, I feel now like I like to work

2070
01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:44,840
Speaker 2: to live and not live to work, like I just

2071
01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:46,080
Speaker 2: would like to make a living. I don't need to

2072
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,680
Speaker 2: be the biggest podcast or don't mean the number one

2073
01:23:47,720 --> 01:23:50,240
Speaker 2: selling comedian. I just would like to provide for my family.

2074
01:23:50,240 --> 01:23:51,640
Speaker 2: I think when you get really caught up in like

2075
01:23:51,680 --> 01:23:53,760
Speaker 2: the hustle culture, it's good to have ambition, of course,

2076
01:23:54,240 --> 01:23:56,160
Speaker 2: but what you sue be important to me is actually

2077
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:57,920
Speaker 2: really not important to me anymore now, Like just a

2078
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:00,960
Speaker 2: job is a job. It's to provide and that's it.

2079
01:24:01,520 --> 01:24:02,200
Speaker 1: Great sentence.

2080
01:24:02,360 --> 01:24:04,960
Speaker 2: Thanks, Oh god, I forgot about the sentence. Okay, sorry,

2081
01:24:04,960 --> 01:24:06,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna no.

2082
01:24:06,040 --> 01:24:07,479
Speaker 1: No no, as well explained I would have asked you

2083
01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:10,040
Speaker 1: to explain Question number two, what is the worst advice

2084
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:11,080
Speaker 1: you've ever heard or received?

2085
01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:13,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, there is a okay, sorry, it's gonna

2086
01:24:13,040 --> 01:24:14,640
Speaker 2: be more than one. Seven. There is a phrase that

2087
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:18,599
Speaker 2: I hate. It's called like being realistic is the quickest

2088
01:24:18,640 --> 01:24:21,240
Speaker 2: path to mediocrity. Like I so disagree with that. I

2089
01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:23,799
Speaker 2: think being realistic is so important, like so important.

2090
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:26,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, good answer. Question number three? What excites you most

2091
01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:27,679
Speaker 1: about motherhood?

2092
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:30,439
Speaker 2: I'm such an affectionate person, Like I love all my

2093
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:32,320
Speaker 2: nieces and nephews who are growing older now they're like

2094
01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:34,240
Speaker 2: starting to hate it, but like I cover them and kisses,

2095
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:36,280
Speaker 2: Like I just says with kisses and hugs, and like

2096
01:24:36,840 --> 01:24:39,439
Speaker 2: this baby like is gonna but this movie's gonna love

2097
01:24:39,520 --> 01:24:41,639
Speaker 2: me more than anyone. It probably end up liking Ben more.

2098
01:24:41,680 --> 01:24:44,840
Speaker 2: But this maybe like is mine, you know, And I

2099
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,120
Speaker 2: could kiss it as much as I want.

2100
01:24:46,400 --> 01:24:48,479
Speaker 1: I love it. A question number before, what are you

2101
01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:52,080
Speaker 1: most excited to see about Ben becoming a dad? Oh?

2102
01:24:52,160 --> 01:24:54,160
Speaker 2: My god, Like, I just know Ben is going to

2103
01:24:54,200 --> 01:24:57,599
Speaker 2: be the best, the best, like most affectionate. The kids

2104
01:24:57,600 --> 01:24:59,200
Speaker 2: are gonna love him. They're gonna like him so much more.

2105
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,120
Speaker 2: They're gonna go to him I'm like, I don't know

2106
01:25:01,320 --> 01:25:04,599
Speaker 2: what exactly I'm most looking forward to, but I feel

2107
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:06,439
Speaker 2: a lot of peace and knowing that I'm bringing a

2108
01:25:06,479 --> 01:25:08,640
Speaker 2: baby into the world with like someone who's seriously going

2109
01:25:08,680 --> 01:25:09,679
Speaker 2: to be the best out on the Ponet.

2110
01:25:10,160 --> 01:25:12,519
Speaker 1: Fifth and final question, we asked this to every guest

2111
01:25:12,520 --> 01:25:14,679
Speaker 1: who's ever been on the show. If you could create

2112
01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:16,880
Speaker 1: one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

2113
01:25:17,120 --> 01:25:17,600
Speaker 1: what would it be.

2114
01:25:18,439 --> 01:25:21,519
Speaker 2: It should be absolute law that everybody listens to the

2115
01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:27,760
Speaker 2: Toast every second morning. And then yeah, of course, of course, yes,

2116
01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:29,840
Speaker 2: actually no, this is my answer, not a purpose, sorry, just.

2117
01:25:29,840 --> 01:25:32,120
Speaker 1: The tost Oh thanks, all right, Florida.

2118
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:33,640
Speaker 2: No, it should be law like it should be an

2119
01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:34,840
Speaker 2: NPR should be public radio.

2120
01:25:35,120 --> 01:25:37,280
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, that's a great love. Thanks, I

2121
01:25:37,360 --> 01:25:37,600
Speaker 1: love it.

2122
01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:39,400
Speaker 2: Thanks, and then I ultimately you know that affects my

2123
01:25:39,400 --> 01:25:39,920
Speaker 2: bottom line.

2124
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:46,160
Speaker 1: Clorodia, thank you so much, me too, Thank you. If

2125
01:25:46,200 --> 01:25:49,439
Speaker 1: you love this episode, you will also love my interview

2126
01:25:49,520 --> 01:25:54,240
Speaker 1: with Kendall Jenna on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing.

2127
01:25:54,520 --> 01:25:56,720
Speaker 3: You're in a child You could be reading something that

2128
01:25:56,840 --> 01:25:58,680
Speaker 3: someone is saying about you and being like that is

2129
01:25:58,760 --> 01:26:01,040
Speaker 3: so unfair because that's not who I am and that

2130
01:26:01,240 --> 01:26:03,800
Speaker 3: really gets to me sometimes, But then looking at myself

2131
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:05,280
Speaker 3: in the mirror and being like, but I know who

2132
01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:07,080
Speaker 3: I am. Why does anything else matter