Baby Reindeer, Male Abuse & Shame

Trigger Warning: This episode addresses sensitive topics related to male sexual abuse, grooming, and rape.

The inspiration for this episode came from watching the popular Netflix TV show "Baby Reindeer," which is based on a true story. It follows a struggling comedian who becomes the target of a mentally unstable woman. Simultaneously, he seeks the attention of a successful comedy writer who ends up abusing him. While the series explores various issues, one aspect that stood out to me was the intense shame experienced by the character due to the abuse. Additionally, it delves into the confusion surrounding his sexuality and the shame he carries due to the events that took place.

It wasn't until I embarked on my own sexual journey in my forties, exploring alternative lifestyles and having conversations with men, that I began to comprehend the prevalence of sexual abuse experienced by older men. Often, these traumatic experiences occurred during their time in boarding schools or within the Catholic church. I heard their stories so often, that I began to believe that anyone aged 50+ who had not suffered abuse, whether sexual or emotional, was the exception that proved the rule.

In this candid discussion with Dr. Graham Stevenson, an intimacy and relationship coach, we delve into his own childhood experience of sexual abuse. Dr. Stevenson shares the personal work he has undertaken to overcome his own shame and how he has assisted others in their healing journeys. We also explore how unresolved trauma can profoundly affect one's interpersonal relationships.

Among the podcasts I have hosted, I firmly believe it is crucial to foster an environment where we can openly share our experiences. By doing so, we can offer support to others who may be facing similar challenges.

https://www.doctorgraham.co.uk/

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