540: Self-Abandonment + Intergenerational Trauma with Alexandra Stevens

If you’re someone who has struggled with self abandonment, you may wonder why you find yourself beating yourself up or feeling like an imposter in your life at times. I often say, “imposter syndrome” is a cute description for a deeply painful feeling. This week’s guest, Alexandra Stevens, explores how our own experiences, and those of our ancestors, factor into our shame today. She shares how we can rebuild trust - beginning with trusting ourselves - and stop abandoning ourselves after trauma.

Alexandra Stevens is a UKCP-accredited Gestalt psychotherapist, EMDR therapist, writer, and podcast host based in Lisbon, Portugal. She specialises in attachment trauma, CPTSD, anxiety, self-worth, and the ways early relational experiences continue to shape our adult lives.

Alexandra integrates EMDR, Gestalt Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and somatic approaches to help clients move beyond insight into lasting transformation. Alexandra is currently writing a book, You Don't Have To Abandon Yourself To Belong, exploring the ways we disconnect from ourselves in order to maintain attachment, safety, and belonging. Alongside her clinical work, she hosts a podcast featuring conversations with leading therapists, authors, and researchers exploring trauma, authenticity, healing, and human connection called You Don’t Have to Abandon Yourself to Belong.

Find Alexandra Stevens online:

Alexandra’s website: http://www.alexandrastevenstherapy.com 

You Don’t Have to Abandon Yourself to Belong Podcast on YouTube https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJVFrcqh04gA 

Find Laura Online

https://therapychatpodcast.com

https://traumatherapistnetwork.com

Join Laura’s Mailing List

https://go.traumatherapistnetwork.com/updates

Socials

https://www.youtube.com/c/TherapyChatPodcast

https://www.facebook.com/therapychatpod

https://www.instagram.com/therapychatpod

https://www.tiktok.com/@therapychatpod

Therapy Wisdom Video Course

My course on therapy skills for work with survivors of sexual violence is available on The Academy of Therapy Wisdom site. Watch a free video and access the course https://therapywisdom.com/what-to-do-when-a-client-discloses-sexual-trauma

2026-2027 Retreat Interest Form

We’re planning retreats in 2026 and 2027. Let me know which ones you are interested in - some of the locations we’ll visit include: Spain, North Carolina, Mexico, Portugal, Greece, France and more. Details are being added to the TTN website and sent out via e-mail as they’re finalized.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdVOcuSAc9ehVzdcNXPydpjjciVjCfzoE2jRrVyGcOeZGhZEA/viewform

Thank you to our sponsor, TherapyNotes!

TherapyNotes® is the highest-rated EHR, practice management, and billing software for mental health professionals. Sign up for your free trial by going to https://TherapyNotes.com, clicking "Start my free trial", and accessing your first two months free with the promo code CHAT. See why TherapyNotes is the most trusted EHR for behavioural health professionals today.

Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions

https://vaudeoproductions.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands