048: The Mirror Test | Can You Look Yourself in the Mirror

James with 8 days of sobriety shares why he wants to quit.

There was a period of time from around 2004-2014 where I could not look at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to admit it, but I was disgusted with myself. I didn't recognize the person standing there and I didn't know what to do about it. I thought the problem was others, I thought the problem was stress, I thought the problem was anxiety and depression. I definitely wasn't ready to examine the problem could possibly be my ally alcohol. No way. Not at all. That couldn't be the problem. Nope.

It wasn't until I reached emotional sobriety in 2014 when I started to catch glimpses of the real Paul Churchill in the mirror. It didn't happen day one of sobriety. It didn't happen day 30. But like the seasons change, I was eventually able to look myself in the mirror without total disgust. Fast forward to January 18th, 2016. I embrace that man in the mirror. We challenge each other to be better. To make others better and that man in the mirror is my best friend. Here is the poem a football coach read to us in High School.

The Guy in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

"You might be an alcoholic if"

-your spring cleaning meant clearing out the alcohol hiding spots, nooks and crannies to make room for the new ones -Brandy

-you know more about what's happening in your bartender's life, than in your best friend's. -Sarje

-as the sun rises over the curb, you notice you have one shoe on and aren't sure if you lost a shoe or found one. -Frank

-you do your recycling at 2am in the morning so no one will see you. -Claudia

-you don't remember leaving a bar with a guy, wake up at 2am and find a note from a guy you swear you've never met. You text him. You confirm your worst fear. Then start drinking again. -Kelly E.

"If you can't wait to get home from the corner store, so you start drinking your beer while driving home in the car...you might be an alcoholic." -Alvin

Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.

Be sure to expand your recovery network in Bozeman and Seattle. Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon.

This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.

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